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Yeah, people-- particularly at schools-- complain about parents who aren't involved, who don't go to teachers' conferences or volunteer at Scouts or soccer. Then they pull out "helicopter mom" for those who do.
there is a lot of area in between being involved and attending conferences, and going to college to do your kids laundry.
I am not a big fan of Helicopter Moms. Their goal in life seems to be to make themselves feel like better moms than everyone else. Yeah, knock yourself out. I am much more of a freeranger myself. Keep them safe, but let them explore too. I want my kids to have a fun, safe childhood, and end up as confident, assertive adults, not be scared of everything.
thanks for all the replies- I am definitely not a helicopter mom but I think my 17 year old thinks I am. I occassionally ask about her grades if she's done her HW and remind her of things every now and then she always says " Mom I am 17 not 5 anymore" so I have tried to back off- i have never emailed teachers about how they are doing unless there is a problem- luckily none so far- I have raised them alone since they were 3 and 5 and hope they turn out alright- Dad was a deadbeat dad etc and actually died this summer. they seem fien about it. I found this board earlier this year and really it is helpful to get answers and opinions- although so many have different ones...
LOL - sounds like your 17 y.o. is, well, being 17
Asking after them occasionally does not a helicoptor parent make....no matter what they would have you believe.....
(BTW - Just wait until they are 18 and think that makes them fully independent adults - for the "fun" things anyway.....)
Oh my god I think I might be a helicopter mom cause I do my sons laundry and help him with different things like cooking for him . He knows how to cook he says it just doed not taste the same . LOL !!! oh wow now I must resign myself to the fact that I am a helicopter mom .
I think children need a transition prior to going away to college. It's not like you can control every single aspect of their lives until they turn the magical age of 18 and expect them to know how to take care of themselves. If a child is a good kid, I think it's important to back off at 17 and allow them the freedom to decide where they are going and who they will hang out with. No more requiring permission for the normal activities. Just except them to let you know where they are, who they are with and when they will be home----as adults living together do.
17 is a little late for them to be making decisions too. It is something that should start at birth. My sister is the poster child for helicopter parenting-even as a newborn the kids were not allowed to be done eating until she thought they should be done, and it only got worse from there. Her 8th grader is not allowed to pick out her clothing each day-mom has to go into her closet and pick everything out for her before she is allowed to get dressed in the morning. If they wake up before Mom and Dad they are not allowed to leave their bedrooms and go downstairs...poor kids.
17 is a little late for them to be making decisions too. It is something that should start at birth.
Agreed. I never said they shouldn't be making decisions when younger. I just think that children should be making almost all of their own decisions when they are 17, while they are living with their parents to offer guidance or help them deal with a bad decision after-the-fact. You just can't control them until 18 and expect them to handle it. It's important to let children make mistakes.
Again, please note some of us have developmentally delayed children. My son is a bright, smart kid with a sunny personality and nary a nasty bone in his body but he needs 'to be kept on task.'
He also needs to be directed and supervised. I have to check over his homework folder, make sure he has all his papers, and whatever.
Am I a helicopter mom? I don't think so. And you know what, if someone thinks I am, who cares anyhow?
Again, please note some of us have developmentally delayed children. My son is a bright, smart kid with a sunny personality and nary a nasty bone in his body but he needs 'to be kept on task.'
He also needs to be directed and supervised. I have to check over his homework folder, make sure he has all his papers, and whatever.
Am I a helicopter mom? I don't think so. And you know what, if someone thinks I am, who cares anyhow?
that is different- if your son needs the extra help- that is fine- i think we are talking about overprotective parents not letting their children out from under their wing- for example there is a thread going on here about when to let kids go trick or treating with adult supervision-some say not until they are 16- 16 year olds shouldn't be trick or treating ....
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