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About 7 years ago, my ex moved to a gated community. He has neighbors on both sides. On one side lives a little boy (8) and girl (10) and on the other side lives a little boy (8). My son has made friends with all of the kids. Now, my ex had an off again/on again relationship with someone, but she also lived in that house for time. I know that there were relationships between the adults, I don't know what has occurred in those relationships. I am aware that my ex husband has a DUI that occurred with a father of the little boy with no sibling. I don't know the truth about what actually happened. My understanding is that they blamed each other, however, I have to consider the source. I am not friends with any of these people, we have no relationship. Please note that there is a reason that I am divorced.
At the beginning of the summer, my child (8) was over at the boy(8) and sister (10's) house. They are allowed to play Grand Auto Theft. My child tells me that they played this game and I call Dad up and say-I don't thinks so. He says, why don't you talk to the parents? I'm thinking, like no......they are your neighbors and this is your son. It is not our place to tell them how to raise their children, however, it is equally ok for us to say to our son that we don't want him to be over there while playing video games. Now, his father is a grown man and capable of handling this. I thought.
Two weeks later, my son is over there and comes home and starts saying, "Why don't you want me to play? Are you afraid that I'll start stealing?" It is possible that someone gave him that line it is also very possible that he came up with it on his own. My son buys this video game from the other child and hides it. I go over to my ex's house and I find it, pretty darn easily. My son and I leave and then when he is asleep, I call my ex and say, pull it out. Child is confronted and grounded. About 3 weeks later, my ex husband allows him to play that game. Again, this is not my house but I am livid, nonetheless. It is when my son says to me, "so this guy told me he could get me both the money and the drugs....and I said no, that's bad." And I snapped. I call my ex and say some pretty good words. He says that he had no idea that was in there and finally gets rid of it.
My son plays with the other little boy and comes home and says, "Mom, what's a pool dancer?" I said, what do you mean pool dancer? He says, you know a woman that dances like she is having sax with a pool table." I swear he called it sax and I just let him keep calling it that. My son says, yeah the boy said he seen it. I just said that's gross." In reality, my son and the other little boys talk about kissing and girls and the ever mysterious body parts. So, I have had and continue to have as open communication as I can with my kid. So, I guess my ex mentions it to the parents of the little boy and they find out he has been seeing a pole dancer via YouTube. The kid has also tried to hack into other characters on the Penguins-which he also learned from You Tube. His parents are ticked off at my ex until the kid downloads viruses on all the house hold computers.
6 weeks ago, I pick my son up from my ex's house and on the way home he mentions that the same little boy said that he joined a club where he was the captain and there was another captain and everyone in the club had to suck the captain's weewee. So, we talk about this a little more and when I get home,I call my ex. I tell him that this is something he needs to handle very carefully. Because this may have occured in the past and this is not something that they want the neighbors to know about and they are handling it. If they are not aware of this then this is something that they might want to check out. So, off he goes and they interrogate their son and call my ex back, and say well, your son watches rated R movies. He tells them that he didn't make this up and if they wanted to talk to me then they could call me. I wasn't there, I don't know what happened.
So, what does my ex do? He makes a video of my son telling him what he told me and shows the video to the other neighbor, who then shows it to his wife and then there is a brewhaha. I told you there is a reason he is my ex. He says, he did it because he was afraid that he was going to wind up being accused of doing something when all the kids are in his house.
So, today, I talk to my kid via phone because of my work and I find out that the other kids had been playing the latest Grand Theft Auto and my son came home and said that he heard the game say some fantastic language: MF and hookers. Now, why he was over there when they were playing video games.......I don't know. There is a reason that I have an ex. The kids get dressed up and my child calls over to see if the kids are going in a group. The answer is no there are too many children. All three neighbor kids show up at first house to trick or treat at,my ex's. My child stated, they did that to rub my face in it? Well, yes, they did. Because people suck. I don't know what my ex said in reply to him.
So, at this point, I think it has gone too far. However, these people are adults. On the one hand, I want to go and use some fantastic language of my own---with everyone. On the other hand, I don't know if it just looks like a whole lot of drama that I divorced for a reason and do not want to get involved. Jail or ulcer, jail or ulcer, jail or ulcer.
First of all, I understand the "ulcer" part when something that you feel strongly about, gets out of your hand and control. -- And I don't know how to control other adults (your ex and his neighbors) unless to cut off the link, though it's probably not feasible.
One thing, though - I have to thread carefully here as I may be slammed for the lenience. My son is not 5 yet and has played GTA for a year. Yes, I was appalled at some language and the violence at first (didn't hear MTF-ker though, and no hookers?). Looking closely, though, I saw that it is a game in the very sense. The "blood" is the celluloid blood, the same kind as when we kids were watching Westerns. My son has woken up to the idea of "guns". On one hand, it's terrible! On the other hand, there are several models of toy guns at the Dollar store - who are they aimed at if not at small to medium kids? Again, I draw on my own childhood when we played "war" with "shooting" and "killing" and "dying", as 5-10 years old. I am a proponent of a gradual hardening, maybe, (just like immunization), instead of dumping all the bad stuff after a certain age, - when it may be too late, the effeminate character would be developed already?
But, that's only in relation to the game. The ex's neighbor kids' situation with Internet and x-rated videos and clubs with captains is not tolerable.
First of all, I understand the "ulcer" part when something that you feel strongly about, gets out of your hand and control. -- And I don't know how to control other adults (your ex and his neighbors) unless to cut off the link, though it's probably not feasible.
One thing, though - I have to thread carefully here as I may be slammed for the lenience. My son is not 5 yet and has played GTA for a year. Yes, I was appalled at some language and the violence at first (didn't hear MTF-ker though, and no hookers?). Looking closely, though, I saw that it is a game in the very sense. The "blood" is the celluloid blood, the same kind as when we kids were watching Westerns. My son has woken up to the idea of "guns". On one hand, it's terrible! On the other hand, there are several models of toy guns at the Dollar store - who are they aimed at if not at small to medium kids? Again, I draw on my own childhood when we played "war" with "shooting" and "killing" and "dying", as 5-10 years old. I am a proponent of a gradual hardening, maybe, (just like immunization), instead of dumping all the bad stuff after a certain age, - when it may be too late, the effeminate character would be developed already?
But, that's only in relation to the game. The ex's neighbor kids' situation with Internet and x-rated videos and clubs with captains is not tolerable.
are you saying that if you don't expose you son to violence early enough, he'll turn out to be feminine?
This is a good time to start praying, I don't know what your beliefs are.
But if you want this evil to take root, and it sounds like it may have already, I would turn it over to the Lord
before it gets in the hands of evil and twisted men and women.
it's never too late to blame and blurt, it will not change things, the seed has already been planted.
and it's an evil one.. get rid of it before it takes root..The choice is yours whatever one you decide,
remember you will still have to take responsibility for it. Sounds like you are already on the right track..
I would be pretty bent out of shape about too if it were any of my grands, it would not do me a bit of good, I'd just rather pray..
Just MHO
God Bless
I raised 8 kids and they have all turned out pretty well. I can tell you this, I would not let my kid go over there period. My goodness I didn't even let my kids watch "The Simpsons". If necessary I would go up in front of a family judge and he would put a stop to it for sure. We should never fear standing up to protect our children from all the evil and badness in this world.
My kids are 6 and under, and I've never seen GTA first hand. I was told by a friend with a teen son that part of the game is having sex with a hooker. She was contemplating not letting her son play it, and he was about 14, not 8! From what I've heard, no way would I let me 8 year old play that. I don't know how you should go about it, but I think you should stick to your guns on this. I believe it is rated M for mature (17 and over). They have these ratings for a reason.
There is a reason for the ratings on these video games and no young child should be exposed to that crap.
As for your ex?? I would make a video tape of my own, questioning the child about the video game, the captain thing and everything else that's been going and bring it back to Family Court and see if you can get supervised visitation. This clown obviously has no parenting skills whatsoever and hasn't a clue the damage that's being done to this child. No 8 year old should be exposed to things like this --- the violence, the sexual talk, etc.
In addition, next time you have to drop him off, I would go to the neighbor's home and see what kind of people they are and tell them what's been going on (pool dancer, sax, sucking the captain's wee wee, etc). As the child's parent, you should go over there. What child, at age 8, knows about "sucking wee wee" or anything like that?? Think about it.
I have a 5 year old son and he WOULD NEVER be allowed to play or watch someone playing that game. I think some parents are just sick! I wouldn't let him over there again!
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