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I totally missed that the three year old has a FB account! Maybe some families don't like to spend a lot of time with each other so the kids all have their own computer or the parent's don't like to share? My husband has his own laptop but he works from home and we don't use it. My son and I have shared one since he was 10. I don't work from home so for me it is recreation and communication so relinquishing it for my son to use has never been a problem. He feels he shouldn't have to come into my room to do his work,etc. with the interruptions that can occur since it is my room. He gets very frustrated about it. And no, there is no other place for a computer except on his desk in his room. If I get the laptop for him it wouldn't be until December so I have a little time to weigh everything out and to see how things go with our current situation. Thanks everyone!
Our 12 year old has access to all of our computers and my husband is the administrator for the family. This means you have do your work and you can set the sites you feel are not comfortable for your family. For your son to have a lab top part of the answer depends a great deal on his grades and your goals as well and more important his goals for his future. Our 12 year old is able to write programs as we have sent chime to a class, his choice, this past summer , to learn to write games. We felt it was important if he was going to play games for him to be able to understand how they were built/written/made. We wanted the computer to be the tool it was designed to be. Remember that if he ownes a PSP he can have access to the Internet so what is you exact concern? We have it set so that he cannot have discussions with other people we do not know on computer. I would recommend for your sakes that you remove the computer form your bedroom to a family area however. Also at age 17 please remember the only thing you are really preventing is him doing whatever you are worried about in front of you or on your computer. If you can not trust him now when will you be able to? He should be on the computer studying for the ACT test if he has not scored a 30 or greater. For every parent reading this, there is a site called Aleks.org and others that help students study for the ACT test. This is the test that every student should be taking yearly from 7th grade on. It is a copulation of all subjects of all things taught form K4 to 12th grade. The high score is a 36 and the national average is less than a 22 ! To get into College you must have a 22. To get scholarships and in many cases a full ride you can have a 30 plus which only requires the student study a little two or three times a week and test themselves. This needs to be something they so on their own , however they need the computer to do it. Many students like ours, have seen the dorms and thought about the difference between being $60,000 in debt maybe having to give up the dream and go to a community college which is still a good education however taking this test and living in the dorms is all possible with ACT. To work anywhere at age 17 he will need to be able to find his way around a computer and be good at it. The first time for the test is free each year after that it is about $32.00. If you are reading this and don't have children and want to be of help to someone you can always go to the local high school counselor and sponsor a student anonymously. So in summary, make sure you have the control, get a wireless router with a password so the world can't get in, and be the administrator, set some grade goals and put him to work. Good Luck. Tonni Canaday/Oklahoma
Thanks Silvermoon. We live in a high achievement town with some of the top schools in Ca. so we are well prepared for what is needed to get into college and SAT preparation. Plenty of practice tests to take as well as classes and private tutoring. We have the SAT book and online practice tests from Princeton Review as well. You might look into Princeton Review regarding preparation for college as well as collegebound.com.
Yes, you should let him buy a laptop. He sounds responsible and you said he's cautious, so I wouldn't put any parental controls on it. Just make sure he understands that whatever information he puts out there may be there forever and accessible to his future bosses, girlfriends, and college admission officers.
We have innumerable computers in our house and they are all connected to the internet.
The children use them.
We have no filtering software and the reason for that is that we have talked with the kids about what is appropriate and what is allowed and what pitfalls they may fall into. We do monitor them by sitting with them esp when they are little. Also they are not allowed to switch screens and we do have the windows tak bar visible so by looking over their shoulder we can see what programs are running.
Our 13y.o. does take her laptop into her room sometimes when there is too much noise in the family areas where the computers are. The one rule we have is that when she does that she must leave her door wide open, a rule she has in place anyway as the only time it can be closed is when she is actually changing her clothes,
I thought I was the only one. I have a laptop. DH has a laptop. DS1 (15) bought a laptop when he was 11. DS2 (13) got a laptop as a gift when he was 12. DS3 (10) uses the desktop or one of our laptops.
Every computer is connected to the internet. We do not have any parental controls. The kids use our laptops sometimes and we use theirs. Sometimes we check their history and sometimes we forget. We talk frequently about internet stalkers but other than that we don't freak out about the internet. It's part of life and kids need to learn how to use it.
If he can go anywhere he wants with the IPOD and you are fine with that I dont see the difference.
Someone who has no idea what the difference between an IPOD and a computer is needs to do some research before attempting to parent any child over the age of 3 or to give parenting advice.
Here's the biggest difference between the two - you cannot have a "live" conversation with a pedofile masquerading as a 13 year old girl on an IPOD.
Do you really need the differences defined any further than that? Ignorance is NOT bliss, when you're a parent. An ignorant parent is DANGEROUS.
To the OP... IMO children are not entitled to privacy, though they should be granted the ILLUSION of privacy. I like the suggestions of putting administrative limits on his computer, with an unhackable password that not only limits where he goes but monitors where he's been and shuts down the computer at appropriate times. When my nephew was living with us, he proved that he couldn't be trusted. He promised (after getting caught) that it would never happen again. My dh believed him. I put things in place that limited his movements and time on the computer. A couple days later, he approached me ANGRILY about the limits. I pointed out that they were what he agreed to and that if he hadn't been trying to do something he'd agreed not to, he never would've known that I had "protected" the computer.
Kids think adults are so dumb... whether they're 4 and proclaiming they didn't touch your lipstick (with it plastered all over their face) or 17 and attempting to watch inappropriate videos online. But then again, some parents are so clueless that believe their 17 year olds when they claim to want the computer "just" for schoolwork, homework, etc.
The forum boards are fillled with parents asking for advice, but really just wanting someone else to condone their own irresponsibility.
Well-I hardly think allowing a 17 year old to use a computer is irresponsible.
Getting a point across works really well without implying the poster is stupid.
Possibly, but someone doesn't know the difference between an IPOD and a personal computer may not get the point or the insult, so it's really just a vent on idiocy for me. (Yes, I know the OP didn't make that post re: the IPOD, so why take the insult attached to it personally?)
By the way, I am from California too.
Communication via an online forum board can indeed make it difficult to interpret someone's intent or tone, sarcasm, etc. For instance, you added the sentence above to your last post, attached to the paragraph that seemed directed at me. The word "too" implies that you also think I am "from California".
Why would you think that? Never have I stated that I am "from California", so it must be something you inferred from my posts or profile. I'm not. I'm actually "from" Illinois, though I've lived in several states. Again, as you stated, it's all interpretation.
Well-I hardly think allowing a 17 year old to use a computer is irresponsible.
In and of it's self, of course not. Allowing a child access to the internet via that computer, without supervision or monitoring, even at the age of 17, IS irresponsible, IMO.
And unless I missed something, this is all about OPINIONS, right?
Getting a point across works really well without implying the poster is stupid.
Possibly, but someone doesn't know the difference between an IPOD and a personal computer may not get the point or the insult, so it's really just a vent on idiocy for me. (Yes, I know the OP didn't make that post re: the IPOD, so why take the insult attached to it personally?)
By the way, I am from California too.
Communication via an online forum board can indeed make it difficult to interpret someone's intent or tone, sarcasm, etc. For instance, you added the sentence above to your last post, attached to the paragraph that seemed directed at me. The word "too" implies that you also think I am "from California".
Why would you think that? Never have I stated that I am "from California", so it must be something you inferred from my posts or profile. I'm not. I'm actually "from" Illinois, though I've lived in several states. Again, as you stated, it's all interpretation.
Ok..The I'm from Ca. was not directed at you but to...formercalifornian
Senior Member
Sorry...meant an ITouch. And I do know the difference.
I think the reference to California was probably directed at me.
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! Maybe some families don't like to spend a lot of time with each other so the kids all have their own computer or the parent's don't like to share? My husband has his own laptop but he works from home and we don't use it. My son and I have shared one since he was 10. I don't work from home so for me it is recreation and communication so relinquishing it for my son to use has never been a problem. He feels he shouldn't have to come into my room to do his work,etc. with the interruptions that can occur since it is my room. He gets very frustrated about it. And no, there is no other place for a computer except on his desk in his room. If I get the laptop for him it wouldn't be until December so I have a little time to weigh everything out and to see how things go with our current situation. Thanks everyone!
