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Old 05-14-2007, 12:35 PM
 
Location: ALabama
2 posts, read 92,796 times
Reputation: 25

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I have recently moved out of my moms house. She was very controlling and i was scared to death of her. I had so much anxiety and stress living with her because I always had to walk on egg shells. Anyways she is not too happy about me moving out before I graduate. I will be recieving an honors diploma and I have straight A's. i plan on goin to college but she says she wont pay or sign as my legal guardian. I know I can get a grant but does she really havr to sign papers in oder for me to go? I also would like to know some of my legal rights as an 18 yea old [in Alabama]. SHe tries to tell me what I can and cant do still and threatens to call the police.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:38 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 3,718,419 times
Reputation: 411
ask the dean of the college
I don't think she can stop you from going
my daughter went to college on a scholarship and a student loan
I didn't sign anything
maybe she wants you to think you can't do it without her
mom's are kinda like that sometimes
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:39 PM
 
Location: Cornelius
2,314 posts, read 301,229 times
Reputation: 287
at 18 I think your able to do what you want within the legal Realm.

She may drop you from her Health Insurance etc. but as long as your paying your own bills and living on your own she really can't do much IMO.
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:41 PM
 
Location: STL
1,093 posts, read 2,758,034 times
Reputation: 547
I don't know if it depends on the state, or not..
But when I applied for grants and even student loans... I was denied because my dad made too much money. I was 21! I wasn't living at home, I was on my own paying my own bills, but they wouldn't do anything because of that.
When I got married, then I was able to get the loans.. but not before that.
Good luck!
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:42 PM
 
Location: Monterey Bay, California -- watching the sea lions, whales and otters! :D
1,905 posts, read 4,633,932 times
Reputation: 2474
You're legally an adult. Contact your local Sheriff's Dept. (as long as you haven't been in any kind of trouble.....), and confirm it with them.

It's like teens when they are 17 think they can get away with being in trouble and then go to juvenile hall -- but one week they can be 17 and go to juvenile hall, and the next week turn 18, and they end up in a regular adult prison with regular adult laws.

You may not legally be able to drink or do certain things until you are 21 in your state, however, you are technically an adult now.

I moved out of my parents' home when I was 18 (many,many decades ago!), and worked my way through college -- it can be done. If you and your family are having that many problems, don't expect them to pay for your college education. Go the first two years to a community college, and then transfer to a regular university. Talk to your school guidance counselor, too.

And in regard to using your parents' income to determine tuition/eligibility for loans, find out how to emancipate yourself from your parents. Also, since you are still in school but are 18, also call your local Legal Aid office (in the phone book) for free or cheap legal advice.

Good luck!
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Old 05-14-2007, 12:47 PM
 
Location: ALabama
2 posts, read 92,796 times
Reputation: 25
well now she tells me things to make me feel bad! I told her I would come home if she wanted me to but when she asked if I wanted to I said no, but I would do it to make her happy.. since then she wont really talk to me
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:09 PM
 
7,467 posts, read 7,146,297 times
Reputation: 2838
I just went through the whole college application process with my son. As far as your desire to go to college, GOOD FOR YOU!!! My advice would be to state in your applications that you are soley independant of your parents, that you have not lived with them since high school. Most colleges and universities require applicants to write an essay stating why they wish to attend the college they are applying to. You can certainly include in your essay the fact that you are on your own, independant of your parents, and I would think that college admissions officers would be fairly impressed by the fact that an Honor's student is applying to college on her own!!!! As well, you can speak to the Financial Aid Office of the college. Worst case scenario, if you need to take out college loans, you would need a co-signer, perhaps. Good luck to you!

Take gentle care
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:29 PM
 
8,862 posts, read 8,900,671 times
Reputation: 2280
Thumbs up Follow Up on some of the suggestions in this thread...

Quote:
Originally Posted by kelseygill View Post
well now she tells me things to make me feel bad! I told her I would come home if she wanted me to but when she asked if I wanted to I said no, but I would do it to make her happy.. since then she wont really talk to me
If you want to start college next fall--it is time to get busy.

Find out what your options may be. Take charge of the parts of your life that are within your control. Relationships can be painful and destructive and sometimes all you can do is find positive paths and move forward.

There are 'Better' people in the world--'We can choose our friends but not our families'...Set your goals and be strong.

(((kelsey)))

sls
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Old 05-14-2007, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 372,705 times
Reputation: 685
My heart goes out to you...I hope you can get away from what sounds like a very toxic situation...

I like the advice of going to the police...ask them if what she is saying is true. I would take the course of telling her to NOT contact you anymore and if she continues to harass you, then get a restraining order, the court is going to listen to you if you tell them you are affraid of her and why...

I am 40 and finally broke free of an abusive and toxic family, I wish I had been able to make a clean break years ago...
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Old 05-16-2007, 07:31 PM
 
Location: Home of the Blockhouse Races
3,093 posts, read 6,439,857 times
Reputation: 3016
Being emancipated from your parents for the purpose of college is MUCH harder than just what the court or the state normally requires. And you have to be a minimum of 24 before the federal government allows colleges to consider just your income and not what your parents make.

http://www.finaid.org/questions/glossary.phtml#e
Quote:
Emancipated
To release a child from the control of a parent or guardian. Declaring a child to be legally emancipated is not sufficient to release the parents or legal guardians from being responsible for providing for the child's education. If this were the case, then every parent would "divorce" their children before sending them to college. The criteria for a child to be found independent are much stricter. See Dependency Status.
It's not impossible to become emancipated but it is very difficult. Liz
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