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Both need to agree. I wouldn't want a child named something stupid, like any of the xxxyden names that are so popular now, or anything stupid for a girl.
Legally, it's the mother's choice, but if both parents are involved, an agreement is wise.
I've heard that, too.
What does the Dad get to do legally? Moms seem to get everything unless they prove to be really awful mothers. Kinda adds to my other post of what motivation does a Dad have to be a part of a family if he isn't an equal partner to his wife in everything (legally or otherwise). Doesn't even have a say in what to name his kids unless mom allows it? whew... and then people wonder why men appear to not be very involved?
Not complaining, just honest curiousity
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btw, Julia, your very sweet and I have never had issue with you and have actually liked everything you've ever sad so far in your posts even when we disagree your very mature and diplomatic about it and thats what the internet needs more.
Too many people are ready to be nasty and just lash out and in the end it serves no real purpose. Easier to just not answer in those cases for those people.
Legally, it's the mother's choice, but if both parents are involved, an agreement is wise.
Hmm I don't remember that caveat, but it worked for me. I told my husband at the time I would be choosing as I was going through all the pain. Yeah I was young and selfish but his picks sucked anyway. Brenda was not a popular name in the 80's and after he told me he used to like a girl by that name, his chances ceased to exist.
What does the Dad get to do legally? Moms seem to get everything unless they prove to be really awful mothers.
Kinda adds to my other post of what motivation does a Dad have to be a part of a family if he isn't an equal partner to his wife in everything (legally or otherwise). Doesn't even have a say in what to name his kids unless mom allows it? whew... and then people wonder why men appear to not be very involved?
Not complaining, just honest curiousity
Well, the woman has to be present for the birth, obviously. The man does not. Sometimes the mother doesn't know who the father is, or he abandoned her, or she left him, or he's just somewhere else at the time. Typically after a child is born in the hospital, a clerk comes by to fill out the birth certificate forms. At that time, it's the mother's right and responsibility to name the child (if a name has been chosen) and identify the father (if she can or wants to).
If there are two people arguing about what to name a baby, someone has to break the tie. Given that the mother is always present and she DID just eject an entire human being from her body, I think it's OK to leave it up to her. Is a mom supposed to put a notice in the paper, like a notification about a new DBA? "I will be naming the child Matthew Holden McNeil in three days' time, so speak now or forever hold your peace."
It might be easy to feel like women and children get all the good laws, all the fun rights and privileges while men just get the shaft, but you might stop to consider why a lot of them were enacted. And who enacted them. But that's for another board.
One last comment. Yes, there are one-sided marriages out there. Some center around the wives, and some center around the husbands. A peek at the Religion boards will show you lots of threads about submissive wives and husbands who say things like, "My word is law." That kind of marriage only works for people when both of them want that kind of thing, and it's evident that some people don't. I don't. My husband is not my boss, and I am not his boss.
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Originally Posted by MrMom2
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btw, Julia, your very sweet and I have never had issue with you and have actually liked everything you've ever sad so far in your posts even when we disagree your very mature and diplomatic about it and thats what the internet needs more.
Thank you for the kind words, MrMom. I know this board can get a little heated and territorial. Your questions yesterday did make you sound very unhappy, but I think what you're experiencing is normal. Lots of stay-at-home parents suddenly find themselves with wide-open days when their kids are in school. It's a lesser version of the empty nest syndrome, just a sign that most of your time was spent on or with your children. It's not necessarily a bad thing, especially given your kids' special needs, but it's going to be a big adjustment for you.
Both need to agree as much as possible, but with our third and final neither of us could agree on a middle name. In that particular instance I got the right to choose the middle name because I carried the baby the whole 9+ months. And there was no way in hell I was going to agree with "The Bear Fighter" as a middle name
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