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What does your wife think? In all honesty, what she makes very well could go for child care. I personally think your older kids are at the age where it is really important someone is at home after school....if she could find a PT job that is during school hours that would obviously be great.
Oh! And be sure to reassure her that if she does end up working outside the home (either full or part time) you are looking forward to stepping up your involvment in those "home" chores/activities she's used to taking on at home while you're at work.
Absolutely and not as "helping out" but taking and doing without waiting to be asked, without asking how, when or if, just do them. You know what has to be done, you can see - and hear. Step up and do.
I will also add- if you're out of the workforce (and you're parenting 3 kids) getting a job can seem overwhelming and impossible. SOME of that is in the head. If someone offered you a job this afternoon that met a lot of your needs, you could figure out a plan to make things work. Its the seeking that is really scary for a lot of us. But people do it, and it gets easier once you get into the routine it requires. I am really overwhelmed by the idea of changing jobs because of the effort it would involve, but clearer-headed people tell me that's what I should try and do. So I sympathize with the OP's wife.
I will also add- if you're out of the workforce (and you're parenting 3 kids) getting a job can seem overwhelming and impossible. SOME of that is in the head. If someone offered you a job this afternoon that met a lot of your needs, you could figure out a plan to make things work. Its the seeking that is really scary for a lot of us. But people do it, and it gets easier once you get into the routine it requires. I am really overwhelmed by the idea of changing jobs because of the effort it would involve, but clearer-headed people tell me that's what I should try and do. So I sympathize with the OP's wife.
I agree. I think re-entering the work force can seem much more difficult than if I had stayed in it. Vacation time is one of my biggest worries. If I had kept my old job, I'd have worked up to about 7-8 weeks per year by now (lumped together with sick time). To start over at the bottom, and get more like 2-3 weeks/year at first is pretty scary, especially not having family nearby to help out. But, the schools do have off track programs. I figure people do it, so there must be a way.
I'm 41, W is 40, D13, S10 and D4.
Wife brings a discussion of what she could do job wise, and we're brain storming some plan.
I think there are good source to check out. I also considered doing some home business after hour or on weekends, but feel that my time is very limited so I tend to be leary of such time commitments.
I can relate being in position where it's not intellectually challenging or the absence of adult conversations. It can just drive me nuts without balance or relief.
Yes, that's what you need. Some adult conversation or activity to provide that relief. It would drive me nuts, too.
As they say, where there's a will there's a way.
There are all kinds of things that can be done from home that allows mom to be available...beginning with my profession - child care. If mom wanted she could take one younger child and bring home anywhere from $400-$800 a month depending on local rates.
There are some stay at home parents that really should not do daycare. If its for money only, and the person is not good with children other than their own, then its really a bad idea. Someone once suggested home daycare to me as a way to make money and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. I don't even like trading babysitting with other parents. My own four kids are enough for me!
Others work for distributors that work on their own time frame within guidelines stocking magazine slots, greeting cards and even hosiery at local stores.
This is a great idea - I think its ADRMS (or something similar - association of direct retail marketing something or other) - the companies that hire people to restock the hallmark/AG card displays, put down/take up the peelies from the floors of the grocery store, deal with the blinking coupon dispensers, etc.... Usually there is a specific job/time commitment per week but the hours can be fairly flexible within the guidelines.
We did have to make some financial sacrifices and live paycheck to paycheck for awhile, but we decided it was best for me to stay home when our son was small. Actually, we would have preferred to do that even when he was older, but financially we just couldn't swing it. I know all families and situations are different, but in most circumstances I believe it's best for Mom to stay home if she can.
I don't know about where you live, but in some places there are teacher shortages and the districts are willing to hire if the person has a degree and let them take classes during a certain amount of time to get the teaching certificate. That would be good for your wife if yours is such a district. She'd have the same hours and vacation time as the kids and could even bring them to school w/ her on teacher workdays (I always had to go in w/ my mom.)
Also, I know you are comfortable @ the company you're with, but have you looked into a different company that does the same thing but actually gives pay raises? No raises in 8 years??? Not cool.
Plus, as others have mentioned - she is currently contributing nothing to her retirement - has retirement benefits been factored into her "over half" estimate?
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If the wife worked prior to 1999, and she put money away into a 401K and/or rolled over a pension into an IRA, she might very well have her own little retirement nest egg - which may or may not be growing right now depending on what it is invested in.
Also, you don't know whether or not some family budget money is being put into an IRA for this woman while she stays at home with the kids (maybe the money that would have otherwise been spent on daycare had she been working, for instance).
And, if she has a fairly lengthy work history, she has probably earned enough credits to qualify for social security - assuming that's still around when she hits retirement age...
Last edited by springfieldva; 11-23-2009 at 08:24 AM..
If the wife worked prior to 1999, and she put money away into a 401K and/or rolled over a pension into an IRA, she might very well have her own little retirement nest egg - which may or may not be growing right now depending on what it is invested in.
Also, you don't know whether or not some family budget money is being put into an IRA for this woman while she stays at home with the kids (maybe the money that would have otherwise been spent on daycare had she been working, for instance).
And, if she has a fairly lengthy work history, she has probably earned enough credits to qualify for social security - assuming that's still around when she hits retirement age...
It is true that these are unknowns... but what is known is that if you do not work, you do not have an employer who is matching your retirement contributions, which in her (and her husband's) field is pretty much standard. That is thousands of dollars per year that isn't being contributed, not to mention the accrued interest.
I have a 401k from a previous company I worked for 6+ years ago that I haven't touched/rolled over, and is kinda just sitting around. It was an aggressive portfolio, and it has done nothing - better than declining, but it's dead weight right now. My husband, who worked for the same company, but for longer than I did, accrued an extra $80k+ with just an extra five years... and half of that was from employer contributions. So, it does make a huge difference, and is something that should be considered.
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