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Old 11-24-2009, 07:22 PM
 
3,872 posts, read 8,698,202 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
The OP asked how people decided to go back to work, and how they manage. anybody have a real answer to the question? Only people who have been a stay at home parent, then went back to work, please.
Thanks Rkb!

Dh works for the federal gov't. I went back to work last year (part time) after a 3 year absence. But I'm doing merchandising. It doesn't pay much, but it allows me to pay for all our food/grocery stuff as long as I coupon and watch what we spend. That's a HUGE help. And I don't have set work hours - I am told when stuff is due and then I have until then to get it done. So if I have to stay home w/ the kids, it's not a problem. If I have to do something at school, go to an appointment, or even wait till dh gets home, it's not a problem.

No, it's not rocket science, but since we have 3 kids and someone is always sick or needing help at school or things need to be done, it works out perfectly. I can look for a better job later. I like being here when they get home.

OP, I'm glad you're going to start looking around at other jobs. You deserve to be w/ a company that appreciates you and SHOWS that appreciation.
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Old 11-25-2009, 05:24 AM
 
Location: Summerville, SC
1,149 posts, read 4,200,014 times
Reputation: 1126
Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
Turns out kids watch plenty of t.v. at daycare too:

Kids Watching Hours of TV at Home Day Care - Children's Health - FOXNews.com
That's home daycare - again, another reason why my coworker is getting rid of her nanny. I think most kids would have a hard time watching TV at a daycare that only has one on premises for emergencies, buried in a closet.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
This has turned into a SAHM vs working mom thread. That is not what the OP asked. The OP asked how people decided to go back to work, and how they manage. anybody have a real answer to the question? Only people who have been a stay at home parent, then went back to work, please.
Actually, as many working parents would know, people need to make decisions on daycare BEFORE you actually have your child. I started looking at daycares as soon as I hit 3 months, and we considered the option of my staying home at that point. For my own point of view, I was not working when I became pregnant, and got a job offer when I was a little over two months - so I feel I have a fair say, and seeing as I got quite a few reps on this thread, there are obviously some who feel the same way.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Nobody mentioned having tv babysit their children. TV is just one entertainment option. It is not the evil that many would have you believe. Sitting the kids in front of the tv for hours at a stretch is not a good parenting move, but tv is part of the modern world and there is no problem with parents letting their kids watch some tv.
My apologies if I misconstrued what you said. I saw, "What's wrong with letting a child watch TV while a parent does chores, etc.?" Maybe I take longer than the average bear to do chores, but for me, it's not a 15 minute thing - probably 2 hours if I want to clean the house, uninterrupted. I think that is unacceptable for an infant or toddler, but that's just IMO.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
StarryEyed...please come back in two years and tell us how your perfect parenting is going
I will, have no worries I am somewhat shocked at how people here seem incredulous at the thought of people having a plan. I mean, really, I never said, "This is how things MUST be!" I said, I am planning on this, and will adjust as necessary. I have a fair amount of confidence in myself, since as I said, I see people managing their pristine households, four+ children at different ages, with different needs, and being a terrific worker. I never said it would be easy... but how should I know, right? Maybe I'll get the hard-to-earn reps with certain parents here after I birth child number 4, LOL.
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:06 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,399,744 times
Reputation: 41122
Quote:
Actually, as many working parents would know, people need to make decisions on daycare BEFORE you actually have your child. I started looking at daycares as soon as I hit 3 months, and we considered the option of my staying home at that point. For my own point of view, I was not working when I became pregnant, and got a job offer when I was a little over two months - so I feel I have a fair say, and seeing as I got quite a few reps on this thread, there are obviously some who feel the same way.
I think what rkb0305 was saying though is that there is a difference between making the decision to continue to work and making the decision to return to work after a break of several years. It can be a difficult decision as well as a transition. Parents who have made the decision to stay home for at least a few years have many things to consider as well as some hurdles in finding jobs that fit the needs of their families. Not that your thoughts on being a working mother are unwarranted, just not on topic for this particular thread.
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:40 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,099,791 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedSurprise View Post

Actually, as many working parents would know, people need to make decisions on daycare BEFORE you actually have your child. I started looking at daycares as soon as I hit 3 months, and we considered the option of my staying home at that point. For my own point of view, I was not working when I became pregnant, and got a job offer when I was a little over two months - so I feel I have a fair say, and seeing as I got quite a few reps on this thread, there are obviously some who feel the same way.
yes, as a former working mom, I do know that. As a former working mom and now stay at home mom, who knows that I WILL go back to work in some form or another in the next few years, I can tell you that to go BACK to work is different than having always worked. There are different things to consider. that is what the OP asked and that is what I am also curious about because I will be there before too long.

ETA: I think it is great, staryeyed, that you are planning ahead, and taking the time to consider your options. I really do. you just haven't "been there, done that" with this particular thread.
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Old 11-25-2009, 08:56 AM
 
27 posts, read 87,827 times
Reputation: 37
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joseph Marnix View Post
Wife's been out of the work force since 1999.
We have a D13, S10 and D4.
Next year, D4 will be going to full time school.

Wondering how everyone managed or decided to go to work and pay for the necessary child care arrangements.

Wife says that the amount she would make, over half is estimated to go to child care alone.
It's tough.
My best advice would be to either
A) Get a work from home job for her, such as web design or Accounting
B) Have her do babysitting/child-care for other children at her house

I would highly advise against using child-care services...not just b/c they are expensive but because you have no clue what kind of post-traumatic effects it could have on your children.
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Old 11-25-2009, 09:24 AM
 
4,267 posts, read 6,171,647 times
Reputation: 3579
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedSurprise View Post
My apologies if I misconstrued what you said. I saw, "What's wrong with letting a child watch TV while a parent does chores, etc.?" Maybe I take longer than the average bear to do chores, but for me, it's not a 15 minute thing - probably 2 hours if I want to clean the house, uninterrupted. I think that is unacceptable for an infant or toddler, but that's just IMO.
Two hours of uninterrupted time? lol. Uninterrupted time ceases to exist once you have a child. Infants and toddlers are not good at entertaining themselves for very long, even if you tried to set them in front of a TV for hours at a time, you'd be hearing from them within minutes and they would let you know that they need attention.
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Old 11-25-2009, 09:52 AM
 
2,779 posts, read 5,488,784 times
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He he...TWO HOURS? I haven't had two hours to myself without a babysitter in 6yrs...
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:26 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,099,791 times
Reputation: 32726
Quote:
Originally Posted by djtrancendance View Post
It's tough.
My best advice would be to either
A) Get a work from home job for her, such as web design or Accounting
B) Have her do babysitting/child-care for other children at her house

I would highly advise against using child-care services...not just b/c they are expensive but because you have no clue what kind of post-traumatic effects it could have on your children.
I think that's being a little over-dramatic.
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Old 11-25-2009, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Southern California
890 posts, read 2,781,674 times
Reputation: 811
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedSurprise View Post
My apologies if I misconstrued what you said. I saw, "What's wrong with letting a child watch TV while a parent does chores, etc.?" Maybe I take longer than the average bear to do chores, but for me, it's not a 15 minute thing - probably 2 hours if I want to clean the house, uninterrupted. I think that is unacceptable for an infant or toddler, but that's just IMO.
I think you will learn the each child's needs will be different, and their personality will dictate.

Sometimes, infants are comfortable in the crib and gets entertained by the mobile thingy. Some just want to be held most times. I think part of parenting that I learn it to adapt as well as trying things that makes the child adapt as well.

Toddlers who seem to want to explore and pretty much poke at the weakness of child-proof environment I try to create will definitely consume all hours, that even a 15 minute break feels like a god send.

Some Toddlers gets the attention of the TV and will stay put, while others give it only a glance and want something they can touch and taste.

If it takes you 2 hours un-interrupted to do a house task, you will either have someone watch the kid, cage them safely in a crib / play pen, or learn to break down the task in more manageable jobs.

I use to visit a forum about Declutter Divas and those ladies can spot clean rooms down to 5 minutes.
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Old 11-25-2009, 02:25 PM
 
3,422 posts, read 10,886,088 times
Reputation: 2006
2 hours to clean the house is not a daily thing, unless you really really are into cleaning above all else. Most moms I know, me included, hardly ever spend more than a dedicated 30 minute period of time to cleaning. Its 10 minutes of dishes here, 10 minutes to put the laundry away there, 5 min to mop the floor, grab a vacuum and do a room for a minute or two, wipe the bathroom counter down after brushing teeth and doing make up in the morning, spritzing vinegar or scrubbing bubbles in the shower post-shower and coming back to rinse it for 3 minutes later on, etc.... All of these are the small cleaning tasks that together add up to several hours over the course of a week but usually are not done all at once.

I sit and fold laundry and watch Sesame Street with my 2-yr-old - talking about what is going on in the show distracts him from picking up my neatly folded piles and throwing them into the bedrooms of the children to which they correspond - "helping" lol. I also sit and fold laundry and watch Mythbusters with my husband. Really, the cleaning never ends and its not a task that you block out and plunk a kid in front of a tv so you can go do - like they would stay there anyway. The best way to get the longest amount of time in a single shot to do chores is to have the child help you, not try to have them watch tv.

Anyway, OP, good luck to you guys. Its a tough decision with a ton of variables (who handles sick days, who handles dr/dentist appts, who goes to plays, early pickups, coordinating parents' vacation time, dealing with teacher in-service days, weird holidays, breaks, etc...).
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