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I guess maybe the OP needs to be a little more specific as to why she has no intention of having a playdate with this family, other than the reason that she is busy..... IF there is a reason,such as not really approving of something the family or child has done, then we may not all be assuming (as I did too ) that she just didn't want to "fit them in"....
Obviously, we aren't all,always going to approve of or "like" every child or their family that our children are in contact with, it doesn't mean that for our child's sake,that we can't, once in awhile, do something for them....
Being a parent means that we sacrafice for our children sometimes... if we have to put up with an annoying parent here or there, then so be it.
You never know, someone could be thinking the same about "you" and I would be curious to know how many would say that they honestly could care less what another parent thinks of them.
So many people today say "they don't care" but if they were being really honest, they wouldn't be saying that.
Everyone wants to be accepted, no one wants to be known as that "annoying" parent, everyone would like a friend, adults & children alike....
Living in a new area, it is very obvious that many people have their circles of friends and/or their families around them.. They don't have the want or the need to have new friends in their life.
I never understood this way of thinking. We have relocated-ALOT over the past few years and it always amazes me how quickly people can turn away from others they don't know.
I would like to think,that even if I did stay in the area in which I grew up in,that I would extend a hand or an invite to a new person in the area and do my best to treat them as I would want to be treated.... it is much easier to be nice than it is to be miserable....
I guess maybe the OP needs to be a little more specific as to why she has no intention of having a playdate with this family, other than the reason that she is busy..... IF there is a reason,such as not really approving of something the family or child has done, then we may not all be assuming (as I did too ) that she just didn't want to "fit them in"....
Obviously, we aren't all,always going to approve of or "like" every child or their family that our children are in contact with, it doesn't mean that for our child's sake,that we can't, once in awhile, do something for them....
Being a parent means that we sacrafice for our children sometimes... if we have to put up with an annoying parent here or there, then so be it.
You never know, someone could be thinking the same about "you" and I would be curious to know how many would say that they honestly could care less what another parent thinks of them.
So many people today say "they don't care" but if they were being really honest, they wouldn't be saying that.
Everyone wants to be accepted, no one wants to be known as that "annoying" parent, everyone would like a friend, adults & children alike....
Living in a new area, it is very obvious that many people have their circles of friends and/or their families around them.. They don't have the want or the need to have new friends in their life.
I never understood this way of thinking. We have relocated-ALOT over the past few years and it always amazes me how quickly people can turn away from others they don't know.
I would like to think,that even if I did stay in the area in which I grew up in,that I would extend a hand or an invite to a new person in the area and do my best to treat them as I would want to be treated.... it is much easier to be nice than it is to be miserable....
I do not mean to be offensive but I would like to address a few statements in your post. . .
I think that most loving parents are constantly making sacrifices for their children. And, just because they choose to be selective about associations does not mean that they are bad people. Parents have the right to choose what type of influences are acceptable. . .and if a child and/or their parents behave in an unbecoming manner (or have differing values), then I do hope the parent stands up for what they believe.
Children are impressionable and it is the parents right to maintain a certain type of standard when raising them. I referenced a neighbor in an earlier post. . .and this little boy is not a child that I would like my son to hang around. I do not appreciate his behavior OR the way his parents handle it. I really do not want my son to think that he can do what "Simon" does or says. I know that it can be a teaching experience but I would prefer to direct my energy towards other areas/experiences--instead of having to constantly correct bad, learned behaviors. It is all about stress management for me. . .
Now regarding you statement about people not caring about what others-think. . .I would say that is me when it comes to people outside of my inner circle. I do not care to be accepted by the entire world. It is not sane to carry that type of weight on one's shoulders. Opinions and value systems vary. . .and just think if you were to try to please everyone you came across because you were concerned about what they thought about you.. .or if they will let you in their inner circle. I have never been that desperate for friends because I know there is someone for everyone. And because I do not care to associate with someone does not mean that I cannot be cordial to them. It is hard work taking care of and nurturing relationships. . .and I cherish them all. So, if you accept everyone into your life, what would your stress-load be like?
Last year our daughter was in a new pre-school (we just moved here last year). There was this one mother/daughter combo that seemed intent on getting close to us. They kind of gave us both the 'willys' to be quite honest. My wife did her best to avoid the lady when she picked up/dropped off our daughter because she kept mentioning getting together outside of preschool.
Our daughters b-day rolled around and we ended up inviting her preschool class over for cake and icecream. Of course they showed up. The lady hung all over us....was practically attached to us the entire time....or my wife at least. Constantly trying to add to whatever the conversation. At the same time I was trying to observe the social dynamic of her daughter with the other kids. She pretty much acted the same way with our daughter. So from what I could gather....our daughter is sort of a socialite that all the other girls at preschool seemed to like (also notice a couple of other girls were the same way). And this girl was trying desperately to be friends with my daughter and these other girls. Additionally she seemed very image concious....and after I observed that....I noted that her mom seemed the same way. Seems like there were some self-esteem issues going on there.
At any rate we managed to dodge them the remainder of the year. Fortunately her daughter got stuck in a different Kindergarten class this year.....
Last year our daughter was in a new pre-school (we just moved here last year). There was this one mother/daughter combo that seemed intent on getting close to us. They kind of gave us both the 'willys' to be quite honest. My wife did her best to avoid the lady when she picked up/dropped off our daughter because she kept mentioning getting together outside of preschool.
Our daughters b-day rolled around and we ended up inviting her preschool class over for cake and icecream. Of course they showed up. The lady hung all over us....was practically attached to us the entire time....or my wife at least. Constantly trying to add to whatever the conversation. At the same time I was trying to observe the social dynamic of her daughter with the other kids. She pretty much acted the same way with our daughter. So from what I could gather....our daughter is sort of a socialite that all the other girls at preschool seemed to like (also notice a couple of other girls were the same way). And this girl was trying desperately to be friends with my daughter and these other girls. Additionally she seemed very image concious....and after I observed that....I noted that her mom seemed the same way. Seems like there were some self-esteem issues going on there.
At any rate we managed to dodge them the remainder of the year. Fortunately her daughter got stuck in a different Kindergarten class this year.....
Funny
There are a lot of dependent adults in this world. And, because of their insecurities, they are constantly looking for a human crutch. When this happens it can be very stressful for the "crutch" to remove the person from their life. I have had to deal with this before. . .and I noticed that their neediness is centered around what a relationship does for them. . .and not what they can bring to it. This type of behavior I am not interested in entertaining. For the most part, I like my relationships simple and really do not want to have to deal with the repercussions from befriending those types of individuals.
So, good for you and your wife for noticing that early on. . .
Ummm...I think the "human crutch" thing may be a little harsh. Granted there are people that can be a bit intrusive, nosey and needy but a mom trying to make friends for her daughter with the class "queen bee" is actually pretty understandable. She was probably thrilled that her daughter was invited to the party, although it sounds as though she maybe read a bit too much into the invitation. But that happens sometimes.
It's possible to be kind without befriending. At least most of the time - I know there are exceptions.
Ummm...I think the "human crutch" thing may be a little harsh. Granted there are people that can be a bit intrusive, nosey and needy but a mom trying to make friends for her daughter with the class "queen bee" is actually pretty understandable. She was probably thrilled that her daughter was invited to the party, although it sounds as though she maybe read a bit too much into the invitation. But that happens sometimes.
It's possible to be kind without befriending. At least most of the time - I know there are exceptions.
I agree that it seems like a harsh term but, unfortunately, it is a harsh reality.
Being nosy or intrusive is one thing but being needy is another. Most adults have some type of grasp on life and can make due. . .but there seem to be quite a few who need more. And they tend to try to get it from their relationships. Hence my reason for questioning play dates in a prior post. ..
I do not know this lady and was responding to the post (which could be called one-sided). Perhaps she was happy to have an invite. . .but I was taking what was presented and it seemed that her "excitement" started long before the invite. Maybe I am wrong. .. she could be just happy to be alive. . .and wanted to share this with others--the "jones" family.
If you are sincerely busy, so much so that your daughter does not have the opportunity to play with another child, then you just tell the TRUTH. You are too busy to have a playdate.
Although I have to say I think it is amazing a parent woudln't foster social growth by allowing a child to play with other children... unless there is some personal problem with these people I really don't understand why one wouldn't want that for their child.
People honestly are so busy they don't allow their kids to play? I am amazed.... sounds like people need to reassess priorities.....
What you don't realize is I have 6 kids and 2 grandkids. She has plenty of playmates.
Wow, the opinions on here are really out there.
When I signed my daughter up for preschool it was for her to socialize and learn..AT SCHOOL.
By sending her we are under NO obligation to get together with other parents because THEY want to.
What you don't realize is I have 6 kids and 2 grandkids. She has plenty of playmates.
I think that sometimes younger children don't get the same adantages as the older kids in a family. I hear this all the time - "My youngest has her brothers and sisters to play with" I don't necessarily think it's fair to them. They should have the opportunity to have friends or at least a special playmate outside of the family. In many cases the older children had those opportunities why not the younger?
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I am amazed.... sounds like people need to reassess priorities..... 
