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Old 12-15-2009, 10:45 AM
 
5,748 posts, read 7,336,723 times
Reputation: 4378

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This is a touchy subject, because a lot of young children are technically overweight today. It's not something anybody likes to talk about, and it's easy to delude ourselves when manufacturers of even young kids' clothing use vanity sizing.

I cannot condone the daycare providers behavior, because she was completely out of line! However, that said, she may be seeing something that does, in fact, need addressed. I think a long, frank talk with your pediatrician may be in order. Sometimes, peds are hesitant to bring it up, because it can be painful for the child and parents. If he/she is absolutely certain that your child is a completely healthy, and you are convinced that your eating habits are healthy, then there's nothing to worry about.

On a personal note, my kids are a healthy weight, but we really struggle with getting them to eat a nutritionally-sound diet. We have lots of room for improvement.

Last edited by formercalifornian; 12-15-2009 at 11:05 AM.. Reason: typo
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Old 12-15-2009, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Boerne area
700 posts, read 936,059 times
Reputation: 827
OP did bring it up w/ ped, ped said kid is proportional so no worries.
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Old 12-15-2009, 11:04 AM
 
5,748 posts, read 7,336,723 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 88txaggie View Post
OP did bring it up w/ ped, ped said kid is proportional so no worries.
But my point is that she still may have room for improvement in getting the child to consume healthy, nutritionally-balanced meals and snacks. Couldn't we all do a little better? I know I certainly could! It may be that the day care provider was seeing poor eating habits during the day that combined with the child's size caused her concern.
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Old 12-15-2009, 01:14 PM
 
Location: On the Ohio River in Western, KY
3,322 posts, read 3,307,146 times
Reputation: 3074
Quote:
Originally Posted by tammie2 View Post
Always remember, muscle weighs more than fat, no matter how tall or short a person is.
Sorry, pet peeve of mine; but that's not quite true, muscle doesn't weight more than fat; it has more density.

A pound of muscle and a pound of fat are the same, exactly one pound.

Just like a pound of feathers is the same weight at a pound of steel shot.

Muscle fiber has a higher density than fat, about a 20% difference.

So it would take a container that is 20% larger to hold the pound of fat as opposed to the pound of muscle.

When I was in the gym/MMA center practically 24/7; I used to hear that all the time from the newer members, hell I used to think like that too, until I got my butt reamed by the owner. So I got used to correcting the nomanclature, so they wouldn't get b**ched at like I did, lol.


Anyway, off the soap box now...continue.
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Old 12-15-2009, 05:52 PM
 
Location: Australia
1,489 posts, read 1,742,149 times
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Prepare yourself.............
Maybe she is fat...........
There are a lot of fat kids these days and the parents just don't admit it.
Maybe she isn't
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Old 12-15-2009, 06:49 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 2,766,649 times
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housingnightmare, I think you handled it well. Glad you gave notice and dd won't have to go there anymore. I think you did the right thing.
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Old 12-16-2009, 07:54 AM
 
5,210 posts, read 5,187,537 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by formercalifornian View Post
This is a touchy subject, because a lot of young children are technically overweight today. It's not something anybody likes to talk about, and it's easy to delude ourselves when manufacturers of even young kids' clothing use vanity sizing.

I cannot condone the daycare providers behavior, because she was completely out of line! However, that said, she may be seeing something that does, in fact, need addressed. I think a long, frank talk with your pediatrician may be in order. Sometimes, peds are hesitant to bring it up, because it can be painful for the child and parents. If he/she is absolutely certain that your child is a completely healthy, and you are convinced that your eating habits are healthy, then there's nothing to worry about.

On a personal note, my kids are a healthy weight, but we really struggle with getting them to eat a nutritionally-sound diet. We have lots of room for improvement.
We have the same situation in our home. The kids are a healthy weight and get a fair amount of exercise but their diet could stand some improvement. They've gotten better about trying new, healthy foods but their snacks aren't always what they should be....

One thing that helps cut back on empty calories is simply avoiding all sugary drinks at home and school. That means no juice, sodas, smoothies, slurpees etc. My kids only get those types of drinks when we go out to restaurants (about once a week). Otherwise, they drink mostly water.
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:14 AM
 
5,210 posts, read 5,187,537 times
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Originally Posted by wanderintonc View Post
housingnightmare, I think you handled it well. Glad you gave notice and dd won't have to go there anymore. I think you did the right thing.
I totally agree. A daycare provider that has a sincere concern over a child's health, mentions it to the parents not the 4 year old child.
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Old 12-16-2009, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 4,116,068 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by housingnightmare View Post
A little background. My daughter turned 4 today. She is 43" tall and weighs 54lbs. She is a big girl, has been since the day she was born. When you look at her though she's not chubby, she's just solid and seems to be in proportion to herself. When we buy her clothing they always fit her in the height and width so I just thought she was bigger than most kids and didn't worry about her weight...She is built just like her father.

Anyway she goes to an at home daycare 3 days a week, has been going to the same place for 2 years. We will call the daycare provider "Alice" Last night when I picked her up she was sad, this is very unusual as she's a very happy energetic child! I asked her what was wrong and she just gave me a hug, put her boots and jacket on and we left. At dinner she was quiet and didn't eat very much - she just kind pushed her food around. Last night before reading stories at bedtime I asked her how her day was and she burst into tears saying "Alice" said I'm fat! She was hysterical for over 20 minutes. I thought I heard her wrong and asked her to tell me again. I am in utter disbelief that a daycare provider or anyone for that matter would tell a 4yr old girl that they're fat!!

So my question is...what do I do? Do I confront "Alice"? Do I pull her from daycare? I am so angry and hurt. If "alice" thinks my daughter has a weight issue she should talk to ME about it, not call a 4yr old fat! Now I'm also starting to question what I'm feeding her and thinking well maybe she is heavy, should I start pushing more veggies than I already do and start reducing her portions? I dont want her to have weight issues or to even have to worry about her weight. I never did as a child but after having my daughter I've struggled a little to get back to my pre-baby size and firmness! I know how troubling it can be.

Honestly, I would confront Alice once you have a backup daycare and are ready to pull your child. When people are looking after my children, I tend not to confront them until... Once you open that can of worms, you can't turn back and many people do not take confrontation well. Plus, I would bet money on the fact that Alice is going to deny what your daughter said and then could take it out on your daughter when you leave! Again, I would not confront Alice until you have another place to put your daughter. Good luck!
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Old 12-16-2009, 09:14 AM
 
2,913 posts, read 4,245,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by housingnightmare View Post
I have an update! I took my daughter to the pediatrician this morning, she is still off the charts but she is proportionate to herself. The Dr said we should watch what she eats b/c all parents should but he's not concerned with her size right now. She is also taller than I thought 44.5"- I swear she is growing taller by the second!

My husband is currently laid off for the winter and he has decided to keep our daughter home with him for a few months. When he goes back to work she will start going to a new daycare in our school district and hopefully make new lifelong friends. After my daughters appt this morning I did take her to daycare as I feel it is right to give a two week notice. When we got to "Alice's" house my daughter cried and cried that she didnt want to go. I did ask Alice what happened that day and she said she *may* have said that she was getting fat. I told her that is not acceptable and that my daughter was and still is really hurt and that I am giving her our two week notice. I don't feel as though that is something she should be telling a child, and that in the future if she has concerns with any childs physical appearance that it would be best to speak directly to the parent to avoid situations like this. She did apologize to my daughter which of course made her upset again. Like I said she is very emotional lately.

Thank you to everyone who has offered advice & food ideas. I feel as though my husband and I are making the right decisions in watching her foods more closely & keeping her home for awhile. I realize we cannot protect her from all the mean things people will say but I expected more from a daycare provider.
I'm glad to hear you did speak to the provider and that she apologized. It sounds like she wasn't trying to be mean at all. Hopefully she spent some time thinking about the situation and is trying to make sure your daughter comes out the other side ok.

I'm sorry that you feel it's enough to end a 2 year relationship that apparently has been a good one so far. Providers are humans and as shown make mistakes too. Perhaps with a little work she could learn from this situation and be a better provider for it.

Of course you have to do what's best for your daughter and if forgetting this ever happened by moving on and putting it in the past is what she needs, then you've done the right thing by deciding to change.
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