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Old 05-25-2007, 01:22 PM
 
Location: UK but on the way to NJ!
239 posts, read 725,827 times
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First names here, no Mr. or Mrs., but if it's someone older I will ask what should DS call you?

 
Old 05-29-2007, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
1,076 posts, read 2,637,560 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sampaguita View Post
...and how would you prefer to be addressed by young children and teens?

Do you think that the seeming lack of respect that children and teens have these days for adults and adult authority stems in some part from their view of us as peers?

I do realize that these days, adults don't want to be addressed as Mr/Mrs. I also realize that a lot of the problems with disrespect stems from the home environment.

Would bringing back some "old fashioned" manners work in today's society?
We are Mrs and Mr. "D" PERIOD... we often have to make that very clear again an again. Seems the kids are more than willing, but the parents are lax and encourage their kids to call us by our first names, no matter how often we tell them (the parents) we do not like that.
MBG
 
Old 05-29-2007, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Between Here and There
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Oh I forgot to add a lot of times when I do volunteer time in my preschoolers class (they are Montessori so they are anywhere from 3-6 in the class) the kids don't always remember what to call me...so I get a lot of them saying, "Mrs. Matthew's Mom"...I just smile everytime I hear that one!
 
Old 06-10-2007, 02:23 PM
 
41 posts, read 106,710 times
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Okay, I have a slightly different take on this. I am not an adult, I am a teenager, and I have to disagree with a lot of what is being said. And please do not think I am doing this just because I am disrespectful and rebellious

Personally, I do not understand the whole Mr./Mrs. trend. I do not feel like addressing adults with proper titles instills all that much respect. I think kids either have it or they don't. I have seen plenty of peers comport themselves in a rude manner in front of adults whom they call Mr./Mrs. That right there shows that these titles don't have all that much impact. Actually, I find that the adults who try to be cool around kids have an easier time getting respect because the kids look up to them, and want to do what they say. So perhaps instead of making a gap, being their friend and making them like you would be a better solution to the respect issue. I also think that respect needs to be earned. I know some adults who are far from role models, they're quite the opposite, so why should I have to show respect just because I am young? I don't see how it is fair that just because I have been here for less time it means that I am of less importance. I'm not really an age-oriented person, I guess! Also, my friends call me by my first name, does that mean they do not respect me? I think they respect me plenty, there is no reason to have to call a person by their last name just to portray respect.

With that being said, I suppose you all are wondering exactly how I do address adults. Well, I still call the majority Mr./Mrs. Lastname (unless directed otherwise) because that is what is culturally acceptable. I'm polite, I work hard in school, I'm very responsible, I don't drink, or any of that. However I do not believe that the way in which I address adults has changed me as a person.

Anyway...just my opinion Can anyone at least see where I'm coming from? This is an interesting topic. I could probably go on, but I'll spare you all the headache! lol.
 
Old 06-10-2007, 02:42 PM
 
Location: UK but on the way to NJ!
239 posts, read 725,827 times
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I see where you are coming from and agree with you completely. I am a teacher and the children call me by my first name, they are 8-9 years old. I have taught all ages kindergarten-university level, all have called me my first name only, at my request.

I do not feel "better" nor am "more important", nor more worthy of respect than even my 2 year old son and his toddler friends, who all call me by my first name. Though my son mostly calls me Mommy .

If someone were to request my son to call him Mr. ___ I would of course ask my son to address him that way.
 
Old 06-10-2007, 02:54 PM
 
41 posts, read 106,710 times
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Tiggywink--I like your outlook. That's neat that your school allowed you to do that too. I had a teacher a few years ago (he was only 22-ish) who said he would prefer us to call him by his first name, but the school wouldn't allow him to do that. Ohhh well!
 
Old 06-10-2007, 03:12 PM
 
Location: on an island
13,327 posts, read 30,297,812 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kipcc View Post
. I do not feel like addressing adults with proper titles instills all that much respect. Actually, I find that the adults who try to be cool around kids have an easier time getting respect because the kids look up to them, and want to do what they say. So perhaps instead of making a gap, being their friend and making them like you would be a better solution to the respect issue. I also think that respect needs to be earned.
I agree with you to *some* extent. As I said earlier in the thread, respect comes from a person's demeanor and actions. However, a responsible adult, especially a teacher, can certainly be likable and friendly with kids, but can't always just be a buddy. Life usually just doesn't work that way.

Quote:
I know some adults who are far from role models, they're quite the opposite, so why should I have to show respect just because I am young? I don't see how it is fair that just because I have been here for less time it means that I am of less importance. I think they respect me plenty, there is no reason to have to call a person by their last name just to portray respect.
I know what you mean. When I was a student, I knew some teachers who called us Miss and Mr, using honorifics as a two-way street. That sets quite a different tone from designating adults alone as the ones who receive courtesy titles. It gives the students something to live up to rather than setting up barriers between adults and kids.
Setting a tone is what it is all about. I do have the habit of giving the person the benefit of the doubt, especially older people.
Courtesy and respect are not the same thing, but they are related.
We all have to coexist with each other and to me, pleasant manners can sometimes help build respect between people.
 
Old 06-10-2007, 03:28 PM
 
Location: Illinois
250 posts, read 690,385 times
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Any of my close female or male friends they refer to as Aunt and Uncle. Elders are Ms/Mr then the first name. That's how I was raised!
 
Old 06-10-2007, 07:58 PM
 
41 posts, read 106,710 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cil View Post
I agree with you to *some* extent. As I said earlier in the thread, respect comes from a person's demeanor and actions. However, a responsible adult, especially a teacher, can certainly be likable and friendly with kids, but can't always just be a buddy. Life usually just doesn't work that way.


I know what you mean. When I was a student, I knew some teachers who called us Miss and Mr, using honorifics as a two-way street. That sets quite a different tone from designating adults alone as the ones who receive courtesy titles. It gives the students something to live up to rather than setting up barriers between adults and kids.
Setting a tone is what it is all about. I do have the habit of giving the person the benefit of the doubt, especially older people.
Courtesy and respect are not the same thing, but they are related.
We all have to coexist with each other and to me, pleasant manners can sometimes help build respect between people.
I know what you mean and you make a good point. I guess the titles are inevitable, so if the question is whether to teach it to kids or not, then yes, I guess you need to. But if the question is whether I like it or not, umm, it's a definite no! lol. So how come you cannot be buddies with a teacher or an adult? I have a couple adult friends(they are friends with me, not my parents), I love having them as friends, and I call them by their first names, isn't that okay?

If it's about courtesy and manners as opposed to respect and authority, that's fine, I'm all for it, but often I feel like the titles are used to create gaps and add a sense of authority. Personally, I don't think kids are that stupid, we can tell who is in charge without special names
 
Old 06-10-2007, 09:25 PM
 
820 posts, read 3,382,623 times
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Default titles vs. first names

In the midwest, where I grew up, we called adults "Mrs. or Mr." then their last name. I would have NEVER called my friends' parents by their first names. This was in the 1970's and 80's. Now, living in the south, I am very uncomfortable being called "Mrs." or "Miss" with my last name or first name attached to that. The neighbor kids call me "Miss" (first name) and I just don't like it. I'd much rather be called by my first name only.
On the same subject...I worked for two alternative highschools in Florida. In one school the students called staff by their first names. In the other they called us "Ms." with our first name. Guess which was the less chaotic, less crisis-oriented school? The one where first names were the only title. I don't think Mrs. or Mr. titles soley reflect degrees of respect.
Perhaps it may just have to do with the region in which you live? My mom grew up in Kansas and she and her friends always called their friends' parents by their first names only...and this was in the 1940's and 1950's. She thought it was interesting that when I was growing up in Michigan that we always used "Mrs. and Mr." with our friends' parents.
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