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This guy said masturbating with your dad is okay and normal. You think that is good? Not only is this poor taste but it is an expression of the furthest depths of perversion. Is this some sort of backwater morality that is prevalent in American's homes?
Where I was raised we did not carry on with this type of permissiveness and thank god for that.
No that is NOT what the poster said. What he said was that he found his dad's stash of porn and masturbated while looking at it.
Overtalking things is never good for children. Simple explanation or a few words are enough.
Does it occur to any of you that society has become over-reaction prone? Everything is over-talked and people over-react to things that are normal or do not matter.
That boy, at 11 will grow and understand what is socially acceptable and what is not. I'm certain that what he meant by not going to stop is that it feels good and it doesn't hurt anyone. I seriously doubt that he gropes his buddies at every opportunity.
People need to chill and stop the hysterical reactions over the most innocent things. He and his friend didn't do that in front of anybody. They did it in an enclosed area where they thought they had privacy.
It's a good thing that he feels free to talk with his father about things. While in that comfort zone, it would be unthinkable to tell an 11 year old that what he was doing in privacy was against the law and he and his friend could be in legal trouble. What kind of parent would do that?
With so many adults around here being overly paranoid and perverted to have sex on their minds at every given moment, it's refreshing to know that some kids still have the sense to be normal kids.
Overtalking things is never good for children. Simple explanation or a few words are enough.
Does it occur to any of you that society has become over-reaction prone? Everything is over-talked and people over-react to things that are normal or do not matter.
That boy, at 11 will grow and understand what is socially acceptable and what is not. I'm certain that what he meant by not going to stop is that it feels good and it doesn't hurt anyone. I seriously doubt that he gropes his buddies at every opportunity.
People need to chill and stop the hysterical reactions over the most innocent things. He and his friend didn't do that in front of anybody. They did it in an enclosed area where they thought they had privacy.
It's a good thing that he feels free to talk with his father about things. While in that comfort zone, it would be unthinkable to tell an 11 year old that what he was doing in privacy was against the law and he and his friend could be in legal trouble. What kind of parent would do that?
With so many adults around here being overly paranoid and perverted to have sex on their minds at every given moment, it's refreshing to know that some kids still have the sense to be normal kids.
This is perfect comment for this thread for Somebodysomewhere and myself.
I also had similar situations when I was 10 and 11 and into my teens. For those that go into their rant and rages about how "wrong" or "out of the ordinary" need to get a grip. This type of behaviour has been going on for eons and will comtinue for future parents. It is the typical coming of age story, wheather you want to admit it or not. It happens to every male kid growing up in some way shape or form (unless they are very, very sheltered). It is not abnormal or deviant. It is being a kid and discovering a part of growing up. No studies needed. No investigations. No blaming. No anything. "Kids" will sort out everything after time expermenting and experience. Hence, you become Grandparents.
I saw this over the holidays and was too preoccupied to respond. I see the thread is still active, so I'll toss my two cents in:
I wouldn't do anything; as there is nothing that you CAN do. People experiment with sex, that's how they know what they want and what to do. Most of us did. The brain wires people to experiment with sex. Young people. People of the same sex. People of different sexes. Experimenting with a guy doesn't mean your son's sexuality is defined at all. In fact, you may have him totally wrong. Or you may be right. Time will tell.
In the future, have whatever discussions you want to have with him about all things sexual, as proactive discussions. It sounds like you have a good relationship with him and that he is fairly open. That's a great starting point. But unless your son brings a discussion to your doorstep, do not initiate a discussion in response to a harmless event.
People need to chill and stop the hysterical reactions over the most innocent things. He and his friend didn't do that in front of anybody. They did it in an enclosed area where they thought they had privacy.
It's a good thing that he feels free to talk with his father about things. While in that comfort zone, it would be unthinkable to tell an 11 year old that what he was doing in privacy was against the law and he and his friend could be in legal trouble. What kind of parent would do that?
Believe it or not, I agree with you - except that in the past couple decades people's hysterical reactions have been codified into increasingly harsher laws.
We have kindergarten boys expelled for sexual harassment for kissing girls on the playground. We have teenage girls charged with the production and distribution of child pornography for sexting their boyfriends. We give 18 year olds a scarlet letter and restrict what they can do and where they can live for the rest of their lives, just for daring to have sex with someone a few months younger than them.
Yes, these are terrible overreactions that do far more harm than good. But it is not something that can be ignored; in any situation (be it crossing the street alone or engaging in sexual experimentation with his peers) it is important the boy knows all the potential consequences of his actions.
To be honest I doubt it'll change his mind about engaging in that sort of behavior - but it will probably encourage him to be more discreet, which is a good thing given that the next person to catch them in the act will probably not be nearly as understanding.
Believe it or not, I agree with you - except that in the past couple decades people's hysterical reactions have been codified into increasingly harsher laws.
We have kindergarten boys expelled for sexual harassment for kissing girls on the playground. We have teenage girls charged with the production and distribution of child pornography for sexting their boyfriends. We give 18 year olds a scarlet letter and restrict what they can do and where they can live for the rest of their lives, just for daring to have sex with someone a few months younger than them.
You're 100% right--and people need to educate themselves and stand up against that nonsense.
OK--so I know I'm a little late to the party, but I just wanted to chime in and say that I think the OP did an excellent job with his son. If anything, I think less attention needs to be given to the issue herein (unless things persist) because, after all, he is just experimenting.
Oh, and I think that Buburusa thing is a troll. He/she/it has at least one more account (if you try to look up the other account, it's Buburusa with different numbers at the end). Regardless, even if he/she/it is for real, I'm treating their statements with about as much validity as the women I saw outside of a Target today telling everyone that Jesus has come back to life as a pigeon.
I'm treating their statements with about as much validity as the women I saw outside of a Target today telling everyone that Jesus has come back to life as a pigeon.
It's a good thing that he feels free to talk with his father about things. While in that comfort zone, it would be unthinkable to tell an 11 year old that what he was doing in privacy was against the law and he and his friend could be in legal trouble. What kind of parent would do that?
.
Yeah, well THAT parent better do that. Because like it or not, he just MIGHT get into legal trouble one day.
I am a detective who works in a Sexual Assault unit. Im going to tell you right now, things like that can get ugly.
The OP son is 11. As far as the parents know, he has only done this with kids his own age, or only one year apart. So far. But what if he tries it with a kid who is say, 9 years old? Im telling you, things like that gets reported to us, and has to be investigated. Keep thinking stuff like that is no big deal.
I recently had a case where a 12 year old touched his 5 yr old cousin in an"experimental" type thing. Guess what? This 12 yr old is now being charged in juvenile court.
Does the OP thinks his son will never "experiment" with a younger kid?? Oh really? Ok..neither did the parents of this 12 yr old. And it doesn't even have to be a child as young as 5. Just go a couple of years younger, and all heck is gonna break out because the parents of the younger kid are going to FREAK, i'm telling you. This is reality. Ignore that if you want.
I firmly believe the 11 yr old should be given boundaries, and be told to keep his hands off of other kids. This kid DOES seem a bit advanced or fixated on this behavior for his age. And I find his actions with the lotion and comments to his parents troubling.
Having this kid talk to someone professionaly to make sure no one has molested him, and also having him checked out by a doctor for STD also is a good suggestion that was made earlier.
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