U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-23-2007, 11:06 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,506 posts, read 23,191,123 times
Reputation: 8832

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by SandyCo View Post
Whaaaaaat?!! My kids know better than to come home from a party even drunk, because they know it's unacceptable! (However, we do have the agreement that if they have drank too much or have no way to get home because their designated driver drank too much, I'll pick them up with no questions asked). When you don't set a standard for behavior in your own home, then don't be surprised when all kinds of behavior is the result! Wow.

The media has a lot to do with this culture (actually, the lack of culture!). I would let my kids watch almost anything, but then we'd talk about it later and put it into the proper perspective. I thank God every day that they turned out so well! *phew*
I am not kidding. The kid has no future- and basically his mom has bailed him out for drugs before- He lives at home doesnt work and refuses to go to college though his grandpappy has a trust fund just for that. Its a very bad situation. The kid needs rehab!


sunny
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-23-2007, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Sandpoint, ID
3,110 posts, read 9,158,713 times
Reputation: 2528
If it makes y'all feel any more faith in kids (and their parents) in this country, here in North Idaho, I haven't had to hear a teen use foul language in months, have not seen any new grafitti (there's very little, mostly "Californians go home" type stuff here and there but no tagging) since before Christmas, and still don't lock my car doors, and even leave my windows down and go into shops in town. Of course up here, we can carry guns (openly) and buy "assault rifles" (misnomer anyhow) at local swap meets, but nobody's getting shot up in gang conflicts or robberies. Neighbor teens shoot at tin cans and it doesn't bother me...it's just what's expected here....
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2007, 08:09 AM
 
3,079 posts, read 4,994,780 times
Reputation: 5309
Default Every generation has teenagers.... can't we just skip those years?

Two forces at play converge to create the latest teenage menace (every generation has their teen angst).

One is the paradigm shift in parenting where there's much less supervision blended with a higher degree of permissive decisioning.

Two is a greater exposure to all types of ideologies and concepts that expand what children today have available to identify with.

Effectively it allows the latest teen generation to have access to all forms of ideas and identities that years ago were unknown to them. And because there's less supervision (single parent or both parents work) they have more time and opportunity to explore and indulge. On-line communities such as MySpace and YouTube provide the average child with a forum in which to create and hone their new identities.

Because it's easier to focus on individual acts and to gain attention/notoriety by making outrageous statements or behaving inappropriately that's the way they're likely to go.

Let's face it, it's much easier to vandalize a school, spray graffiti or spit on someone in order to gain attention then to garner positive attention by raising money for charity or achieving academic success.

If parents are around to keep an eye on their child, if children are being monitored appropriately it will reduce the likelihood of deviant or socially inappropriate behavior.

My eleven year old often comments that he wishes we were more permissive, like his friends parents. I alway, always reply that we should revisit that comment in about twenty years and see how he feels about it then.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2007, 03:38 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,506 posts, read 23,191,123 times
Reputation: 8832
Its not really a regional thing. Some parents just seem WAY too permissive.

In the store the other day a kid was throwing a tantrum and screaming- the mother did nothing to discipline him, just looked around like oh- hes so cute.

My father would not have tolerated that nonsense. Many kids today have absolutely no values- and it is the fault of the parents. My SIL acts like her kids are without faullt- boys will be boys kind of thing- it is sickening.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2007, 03:49 PM
 
Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 12,845,412 times
Reputation: 2332
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnyhelena View Post
I am not kidding. The kid has no future- and basically his mom has bailed him out for drugs before- He lives at home doesnt work and refuses to go to college though his grandpappy has a trust fund just for that. Its a very bad situation. The kid needs rehab!


sunny
I KNOW off-topic, but surely to heaven grand-dad put some sort of age or other stipulations on that trust fund, or once junior turns either 18 or 21, those $$ are his
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-24-2007, 04:21 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,506 posts, read 23,191,123 times
Reputation: 8832
Well- when he turns 20 he gets it. Sad, I know. What is really sad is how his mother acts like its all good. She also has a 24 yr old with the baby at home; That girl also stays home, doesnt work and expects her mother to care for the baby while she goes out and parties. If this is reflective of the generation that is supposed to be working I think American society is in for a rude awakening.

sunny
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2007, 01:16 PM
 
Location: Grafton, Ohio
286 posts, read 1,457,731 times
Reputation: 164
Question When did parents become "friends"?

All I have heard from my father's wife is how she didn't like having chores growing up, how she is her kids' friend, how boys will be boys.... whatever.

I did not like my father growing up. I couldn't stand his rules and restrictions. He and I had our face off when I was 18/19 and I have since grown up.

Her oldest (23) was pushed through high school so they didn't have to 'deal' with him and his poor grades. He has a severe speech impediment, very little education, and no ambition. Spends his free time getting high or wasted, works dead end jobs that he can't keep when he is desperate for money. Lost his license from several DWIs. But, he hasn't reproduced yet, so thats good.

Next oldest (22) was picked up for auto theft at 13. Dropped out of school, joined a gang. Got the GF knocked up when they were both 15. Married GF at 16; both lived with GF's mom and GF is a millionaire from deceased fathers trust (but can't touch it, lives on monthly allowance). GFs mom passes away suddenly, two 16 yr old drug addicts left to live on their own with a newborn. Lets just say... newborn is a spittin' image of dad (who exposes him to substances daily), house was trashed, and whole family had to leave town because they got into big trouble with dealers. Wife gets preg again, age 17. Neither will get clean, all allowance goes into drugs (and children's needs are NOT met - food, health care, etc), keep getting evicted from homes (rentals - too much drug traffic, house gets distroyed with holes punched, doors broken in, windows broken, etc), and mom has now turned to prostitution for their drug money. Also pulled a gun and took a shot towards me and my husband as a scare tactic when we upset little sister. Real winner there.

Youngest is 16. Commonly calls mom b****, wh***, or other obsene names when throwing a tantrum. Daughter gets her own way a lot. Very abusive - even has pulled a knife on my father, not to mention kicking, hitting, punching, etc (and him still dealing with this whole situation is his problem because he won't do anything about it... in case you're wondering). Destroys the house - model right behind big bros behaviors.

How does all this relate? Well, mother has consistantly told me that she doesn't believe in spanking ... it is abuse! Doesn't believe in making her children responsible. She hated chores, so they would too. Doesn't believe in making them suffer their own consequences - what was the judge thinking when they sentenced to jail? That is just mean! Believes boys will be boys... who could expect anything different? Its ok if they don't do well in school - school is hard stuff!

I think, in America anyway, folks have been too busy keeping up with the Jones' to take a real interest in their own families. Both parents have to work to afford the lifestyle they want, divorce is common place, and keeping the family intact just is no longer a priority. Then, add in the glorifications of sex, drugs, and violence... and you have a dangerous mix. Too many "do gooders" have stepped in to tell everyone how to raise children while too many youngsters having children "want to be their friend." It is all just a dangerous mix... with no real wake up calls in sight.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-25-2007, 10:20 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,506 posts, read 23,191,123 times
Reputation: 8832
I think, in America anyway, folks have been too busy keeping up with the Jones' to take a real interest in their own families
_____________________

lol- but it comes back to bite them in the a$$- in the case of my SIL she will be supporting those kids and bailing them out well into their 30's. I would never have tolerated it
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-01-2007, 06:14 AM
 
133 posts, read 564,803 times
Reputation: 94
I think it is the lack of good parenting and the influence of our terrible media and video games. The kids these days have no sense of reality...very scary actually! I tell my son that if he acts out anything he sees on TV or playstation that is not kind,,then he can't watch it anymore or I throw the game away. The teenage mutant ninja turtles were banished from our home from the first viewing!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-01-2007, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,327 posts, read 6,083,926 times
Reputation: 2304
Quote:
Originally Posted by lbsing View Post
I think it is the lack of good parenting and the influence of our terrible media and video games. The kids these days have no sense of reality...very scary actually! I tell my son that if he acts out anything he sees on TV or playstation that is not kind,,then he can't watch it anymore or I throw the game away. The teenage mutant ninja turtles were banished from our home from the first viewing!
Are you kidding? The Ninja Turtles were and still are freakin' awesome!

As bad as you think today's crop of teenagers are, remember that your parents and their contemporaries thought the same thing about you, and your kids will feel the same about the next generation.

There exists and always will exist a lack of understanding and communication between generations. That is why it is important to remain open-minded when you don't see eye to eye with your kids, or your parents, on certain issues.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top