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Old 06-10-2007, 10:52 PM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,683,448 times
Reputation: 409

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buckhead_Broker View Post
What's wrong with teenagers these days?

Simple. It's parents.

Ahh, let me count the ways!
1. Parents who indulged their children.
2. Didn't set boundaries for them.
3. Taught them that there are no consequences for bad behavior and decisions.
4. Didn't teach them to have respect for themselves or others
5. Let them play hours of violent video games unsupervised because it was easier than being a parent.
6. Not getting to know their friends and their friends' parents
7. Not teaching them to set goals for their future and how their decisions will affect the attainment of those goals.
8. Not disciplining their kids in public places because they didn't want the world to see that they might actually have an unruly child.

Oh, the list could go on and on. So, you want good kids? Get off the couch and start being the parent you should be. Being a parent is more than procreating - any moron can do that. It takes a lifetime of work to be a good parent!

Amen
I SECOND THAT ..... It sucks when a mother or father doesn't even see what his/her kid is doing is wrong but alot of others do see it as bad behavior.....my ex girlfriend had the problem of not seeing the things her son was doing as being rude or disrespectfull ....i guess cuz now that i look back....that is how she acted sometimes to......


Basic rules that she didnt wanna put her kid on punishment for......oh yeah wait a minute....she said she repremanded him.....lol....well here are the basic rules that i thought every kid needs to be punished for not following because growing up i was punished for these things...,,here it goes

1) Don't talk back to an adult in a disrespectfull manner or with an attitude
2) Put your seatbelt on in the car
3) Dont run around in public when there are lots of people or cars...(like in a mall or resturant)
4) Do what your parents tell you to do without asking, "why do i have to do my homework or something else you know has to be done"
if you dont wanna eat what your parents have for dinner...then you dont get to choose a meal of your own


Are these rules too hard for mother's or father's nowadays.....if so i think you are just afraid to see your kid cry or you just dont wanna put the energy and time in to hold your child accountable
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Old 06-14-2007, 08:34 AM
 
Location: alt reality
1,084 posts, read 1,950,596 times
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Its true that the kids today are no different than the kids from yesterday. However, I have noticed one huge difference in generations. Something happened to parenting and respect with other adults. Somewhere along the line, it became a bad thing for other adults to reprimand a kid who is acting like an ass while out in public with no parents around. When I was a kid, I never would have dreamed of cursing in front of other adults. These kids can do it now because they know there will be no consequences from the other adults because "Momma and Daddy are the only ones who can discipline me". And yes, I know many parents with this attitude.

Somehow, it became ok for a kid to act like a jerk in a classroom and interrupt learning for other students and the teachers have absolutely no recourse. The respect for authority got lost somewhere.

Then I've seen clear cut cases where a parent KNOWS their child did something wrong, yet the parent will still defend their kid or attempt to rationalize the kids bad behavior. Where the hell did this come from?

Common courtesy has become a lost art and that is certainly reflective of teenagers today. When I hear my young male cousin complain because he held the door open for someone and they didn't say "thank you" so now he won't do it anymore? I'm like "Well were you really trying to be nice or did you just do this to get cudos? Its like everything has a price now. Its like people can't be nice anymore without expecting something in return. I don't know where this attitude came from either.

So, those are just a few of my theories on what is wrong with teens today, LOL
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Old 06-14-2007, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Orlando Florida
1,352 posts, read 5,683,448 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ParkerP View Post



Common courtesy has become a lost art and that is certainly reflective of teenagers today. When I hear my young male cousin complain because he held the door open for someone and they didn't say "thank you" so now he won't do it anymore? I'm like "Well were you really trying to be nice or did you just do this to get cudos? Its like everything has a price now. Its like people can't be nice anymore without expecting something in return. I don't know where this attitude came from either.

So, those are just a few of my theories on what is wrong with teens today, LOL
I think what you are saying is 100 percent true....of coarse you will be frustrated if the person you hold the door for doesn't say thank you, but it builds "your" character if you still go on and open the door for the next person in life...it shows that little things in life cant break you from being a nice person....and maybe you doing that will set an example for someone that you dont think is watching you..like your kid or a friend....and they might be nice to .....u can either stay in the dark like most of the selfish people in our world and show no light that will give hope...or you can be the one who realizes that shining "your" light could make someone else do the same things.....its not about yourself when you are nice to people....its either in your heart to be nice without expecting something or its not .....just shine "your" light cuz we need more hope nowadays than in the past times....
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Old 06-14-2007, 10:18 AM
 
Location: Teton Valley Idaho
7,395 posts, read 11,516,174 times
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well, I agree with you in that the parents need to step up to the plate and do their job raising the kids. I don't typically share a lot of real personal stuff on here. I want to share something though, because I think it illustrates how sometimes we have to do extremely difficult things as parents, in order to teach our children what they NEED to know in order to be respectful, honest, contributing adults. I don't watch Dr. Phil often, but one thing he said stuck, "we're NOT raising children, we're raising adults!". Our children all ready know how to be children, we need to teach them how to be adults.

My story: Last school year we noticed that our then 14, almost 15 year old boy, was letting his temper get the best of him. We wanted him to attend counseling. He has been through a lot emotionally, and isn't particularly demonstrative in grief, so I thought things were shoved down in there pretty deep. I was becoming more, and more worried, but when we talked about counseling, he said that he would just tell the Dr. what he wanted to hear, and be done. I knew he would. He was great at school, so great that when I talked to the guidance counselor, he thought I HAD to be exagerrating! Only those of us that lived with him saw this. Last May though, we hit the boiling point. To make a long story short, he threatened me with a garden rake, on the front lawn. He had it in the air, and shook it toward my head, twice. Hubby (step-dad who does not discipline the kids-rightly so), yelled if I wanted him to call the police. I said yes. When they arrived, son had run off, and they told me what I had for options. If I had him arrested for assault (felony), he would be mandated to participate in counseling. He would probably not be sent to a youth detention facility because it was his first offense, but, it is a felony, so there's no guarantee. If I didn't have him arrested...well, things would continue, and based upon the escalating behavior we were all ready seeing, we knew that would continueto get worse. I had him arrested. I knew with all certainty I was doing the right thing, but my heart ached like it never has in my lifetime. He went to jail in handcuffs, and stayed there locked up until his Dad picked him up. The next night he came home. I didn't treat him badly, but we talked. The following day we met with the youth corrections person, who decided after talking with me she would not send him to court, or "juvie", but would mandate weekly counseling. She very clearly pointed out to him that this was unusual, but that she felt because it was only with me, at home, that he exhibited this behavior, counseling would do him more good than jail. So, for 6 months he did counseling, and while I know for a fact that he "snowballed" his counselor some of the time, it didn't work most of the time! I went with him for a few sessions, and we did get some stuff worked out. He was on probation for 6 months, but everything was removed from his record. He is doing better, it's not perfect, but he is a teenager after all. We got a new asst. principal at the high school this year....he came to me in Feb and asked me about it. He got a notice when son was off probation and went to the secretary and said "I didn't know we had another (name) here. Who is it?" He couldn't believe that the kid he knew from school could ever get into trouble like that.

My point is, by stepping up to the plate and being his mother, I know I did the right thing. I'm a stay-at-home mom, and have been, but in the end, that didn't make enough of a difference to avoid all this. They're going to test you, and get into trouble, but what you do as a parent determines the next path they take. That was the worst thing I've ever had to do in my life, and it was by far the hardest, but I did it because in my heart I knew it would be his "wake-up call." We need to be less concerned as parents about what other people think, or do, and what our kids think of us. This isn't a popularity contest. We need to do the best we can as parents, and not sell our kids short.
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Old 06-15-2007, 04:23 AM
 
20 posts, read 55,544 times
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I'm 15. I give up on the rest of the people my age. They're all rude and inconsiderate.

Yay for being taught manners when I was little.
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Old 06-15-2007, 09:21 AM
 
1,501 posts, read 5,098,619 times
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When we were punished, the worst thing that could happen in our minds (besides the Belt, which was rare) was no TV when we were grounded -- especially on Tuesday when Happy Days was on. I mean, this was brutality at it's worst! And no treats.
Of course we didn't have TVs and 'Puters in every room, so we were punished!
We also never got to see Jaws ... Amityville Horror -- or any R rated film - until we were 17.

In contrast, my nephew was watching Chucky the red haired doll and Freddy Kruger when he was five (FIVE!) in his living/bedrooms. And when he's grounded now, it's more fun than being out with all the electronics and his wide array of TV & movie choices...
And Grandma wonders why he's "fresh".
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Old 07-03-2007, 01:50 AM
 
19 posts, read 86,136 times
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Need more HS athletics, thatll straighten em' out
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Old 07-04-2007, 09:24 AM
 
153 posts, read 1,141,251 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BrianH View Post
Comes down to a number of things im afraid.

Back when i was younger, if i spat i got spanked. These days they get talked to or the playstation gets taken away.
If i hurt an animal i was spanked. These days they get talked to or the playstation gets taken away.
If it hit someone first, i was spanked. These days they get talked to or the playstation gets taken away.

Does anyone see the pattern ?

I turned out fine, i respect all living things and enjoy life. Kids these days arent happy it sees unless theyre doing something wrong.
Excellent posting! And also, too many kids today think it's "cool" to be angry, be rude, lie, steal, etc., etc., and their peers back them up. If the majority of kids/teens looked down on inappropriate behavior, then more kids would straighten up and fly right.
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Old 07-04-2007, 10:50 AM
 
Location: The 719
13,684 posts, read 21,511,639 times
Reputation: 13310
Default Come on!

The problem with teenagers is that we aren't them anymore. We grew up. If you were goodie goodie all throughout your teenage years then this should be called the goodie goodie forum.

If you want to dig out several posts that depicts teenagers as psychopaths, then I could do the same for just about any age group. I was going to bed the other night and as I was shutting the news off, I hear about a woman accused of microwaving her 28 day old.

The drama! STDFYM. I just invented a new acronym I think; no acronym matches for stdfym . Yup! Save the drama for your momma.

I was a rotten kid and teenager at times. I did horrible things. I did everything in my power to try to get my way. I was selfish, dishonest, fearful and angry. I was also jealous, rude, vindictive, apathetic, paranoid, self-destructive, arrogant, and I was better than you. If only people would see things as I do, they-like myself- would be happy too.

I got blacked-out, passed out drunk when I was 10. This was back in about 1976 in the San Fernando Valley. We moved to rural southern Colorado and I somehow straightened up. Being around a few rednecks instead around a bunch of everything enabled me-forced me to see where I was and who I was in relation to my peers. I wasn't much, and I hated it. At the same time, I was ready to chop wood, carry water, do something.

Weird as this sounds, once I got drunk, I sort of woke something up. Unfortunately, I'd pursue this magic for the next 27 years. What it woke up was smidgeon of self esteem (I AM). That turned into I am going to get good grades, which turned into I am smart, which turned into me studying, reading, writing, kicking everybody's ***** in math and doing pretty well in science, going out for sports, taking up music lessons, etc. I had the help of a mentor here and there along the way. My first mentor was probably one or two of my brothers. My next mentor was my Aunt L. Here's the important thing: it wasn't my parents. I was better-at certain times- away from them. I didn't drink or do drugs around my aunt. I could do things under my parents' nose and I'd rarely be caught or contested. I was out of control, but there were periods of creativity and doing good things. Once the first spark of confidence arose in me, I wanted to build on that. For example, in the 4th grade, I brought home a couple of F's on a report card. My parents were concerned. People thought of me as a smart kid because I didn't have much else going for me. Then this. My dad talked to the teacher and she said that I was kind of indifferent. I'd do my school work but was so scattered. I'd do the work but leave it buried in my desk. Our teacher taught 4th and 5th grade together, so my parents figured I'd snap out of it or it was the systems fault. My brother Mark looked at my next report card and it was like all C's. He didn't smack me, but did something more harsh than that. He said, "This is not acceptable." He was pretty cold. Then my friend Gary and I said, "Let's get straight A's next year." I got my semester report card in the 5th grade and the teacher hands the report cards out to the individual student in front of the class. When I went up to get mine, she grabbed me and kissed me in front of the whole class! I almost threw up. I'd gotten 8 A's and 8 B's. So when we moved to Colorado, I was on a roll. As far as school work goes, I never looked back. It was Honor Rolls and National Honor Society from there on out, despite my self destruction with alcohol.

My parents didn't discipline me too much. Other people did. People would scream at me and tell me how lucky I was and that my parents loved me and did everything for me that they could. My mom hated seeing some friend of my dad grab me by the hair and take me to the ground. I was only about 14, but I was nursing a hangover and treated my parents with total disrespect. Other instances like that would follow. After I graduated high school and headed up to college in Denver, my parents continued to try to spoil me, but the Denver police department became my new mentors.

It's a miracle that I survived my teenage years. I should have died of alcohol poisoning or an overdose, but I didn't. I eventually found 12-step help and I've been sober for over 3 1/2 years today.

It's not just the teenager. My parents are pretty much sober today too. It's weird. I don't regret my past. It is what it is. I think that the fall of parenting happened way back in the 70's. Maybe, to some degree, before that. Here and there, some families get it right. Some get really lucky. Most really struggle. We ought to look to our ancestors rather than diagnosing some new disease and finding a pill for it.
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Old 09-13-2007, 02:37 PM
 
1 posts, read 3,040 times
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Exclamation What Parents should know

Quote:
Originally Posted by seahawksweetie View Post
It's scary isn't it. I think it's a lot of things. But I think it goes back to parenting and the lack of discipline allowed in the schools. I remember growing up you didn't dare disrespect your teacher or your parents. Now, it seems commonplace. And the reason is the teens know that they can't be held accountable for it. That there are laws in place preventing spanking in schools or discipline from the teachers. It's truly sad.

Every now and then I will see a teen with manners and on one hand it makes me smile thinking they were brought up to respect others and on the other hand it makes me sad that I notice, that is an exception instead of the rule.
I totally disagree. I have 2 very good cases in point. Myself and my son. I was raised in a bad environment with at least 5 stepfathers that drank and did horrible things. I also lived on the north side of Tulsa but still never once decided that others were below me and kept my integrity because I thought that through all of this My outcome is ultimately my choice even though there's a little bit of fate mixed in. I didn't drink or take drugs oddly enough and chose to treat others with respect. As I continued to make good decisions I was able to move from that influence and into one with a great wife and friends. The flip side of that is my son who is 16 now. My wife and I love him so much yet he is rude and demanding. We took him to Church every Sunday as well as mission trips that our family went on until he told us he was an atheist. I could have taken anything but that. Anyway, We taught him values and integrity and what it takes to be real. He listened to "friends" instead and is still actively making bad decisions. I used to say "Generally speaking, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree" but that just isn't true.
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