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Old 05-23-2007, 11:16 AM
 
1 posts, read 22,593 times
Reputation: 16
Default 18 years old and the rights

im 18 year old and i still going to high school. but i still live at home. i just want to know if i have the right to say im not going somewhere when i dont want to. but my parsents say i have to go like(they are making me). i been think about moving out and still going to school. but my parsents think it a big mistake of my life . they think i can't make it when i say that i just want to see if i can make it for a few days without my family there all the time.
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Old 05-23-2007, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Grafton, Ohio
286 posts, read 1,130,316 times
Reputation: 146
Default Guess what... your parents know what they are talking about!

Hate to be bursting a bubble here, but your parents are very correct.

Look at it this way... what kind of job can you get right now? What will it pay?

Lets be generous and say you land an entry level job at $8.50 / hr. Well, if you want to go to school, that will take 8 hrs of your day. Then add another 2.5 hrs per for studying (this is a minimum! - college courses expect 2 hrs per hour spent in class!). That uses a total of: 60 hrs/wk. That means you have 168 hrs left in the week to figure out working, sleeping, eating / rec time. Well, you'll need to work 40 hrs/wk just to get by, so now you're at 128 hrs, which equals about 18 hrs per day average.

At 8.50/hr, 40hrs = $340. Expect take home to be 3/4 of your actual, $255/mth. That comes out to: $1020 monthly to spend.

How much are you paying in rent? You'll be lucky to find someplace under $400. Lets be generous and say $350.

Utilities usually start around $100 /mth (NOT including internet)

Have a cell phone? Well, average is $50/mth

Have a car? Insurance starts around $100/mth for an 18 yr old

Well, that leaves you with about $420/mth for food, gas, and "extras" (internet, cable, landline, clothing, etc). That comes out to $105/week - and this is assuming you can get rent as cheap as I have described. I know you can't count on that near Lansing, and it only gets more expensive with larger cities.

Then, theres the medical insurance... as an 18 yr old living on your own, you are not entitled to be on your parents coverage. Most entry level jobs don't offer it, and if they do, plan to pay out at least $60/mth for yourself. I'll tell you my experience... when I was 18 I had several ER visits because my body was changing, and each of those visits were no less than $1000 in cost. Thank goodness I had medical coverage through my dad! Once I was off his, I had 1 ER visit for a broken hand (mountain bike crash) that cost me $750, and 1 ER visit for stitches (cut my hand while opening a can of cat food) that cost me $900. That was my out of pocket expense.

What happens if your car breaks down? Can you afford the repairs? My last major repair was an ingnition coil and it cost me $300 to fix. Before that was a ball joint, $160. Before that, wheel bearing and brakes, $400. Currently, need another new ignition coil (different car), new radiator, brake pads, and time spent with the mechanic to find out why our truck stalls out when idling ($55/hr).

I moved out on my own when I was 19. I was making $10/hr at that time and had to drop out of college because I couldn't keep up with my coursework. Despite the money I was making, I still HAD to have a roommate. In fact, I'm 26 now and have never lived completely alone - because it hasn't been an affordable option! At this time, I'm married (and we paid for our wedding with no help - we opted out for an el cheapo ceremony and spent a total of $200) and I have my husband's income.. but with more income comes more responsibilities .. a 2nd car, more car insurance, more food, more medical bills, more clothing, a 2nd pair of eyeglasses, etc, etc.

You might not know it, but your feelings are TOTALLY undestood! But, remember this... what your whole world revolves around right now is going to change very, very soon. Talk to the rents to see if there can be a compromise ... but, otherwise understand they want the best for you and they know how hard it would be for you to try being on your own. You'll work non-stop, probably have to hold 2-3 jobs, work nights, lose sleep, and watch your grades suffer dramatically. You won't be able to spend much time out with the friends you don't want to leave... is it worth it?
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Old 05-24-2007, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Living in Paradise
5,701 posts, read 16,980,536 times
Reputation: 2847
Quote:
Originally Posted by babycakes18 View Post
im 18 year old and i still going to high school. but i still live at home. i just want to know if i have the right to say im not going somewhere when i dont want to. but my parsents say i have to go like(they are making me). i been think about moving out and still going to school. but my parsents think it a big mistake of my life . they think i can't make it when i say that i just want to see if i can make it for a few days without my family there all the time.
Listen to your parents; they want the best for your future. The best approach to take is to make them part of your decision process. They have experienced many situations and can give you superb advice.

We all at one time had the same idea; we wanted to be on our own. But our desires and reality is a big ocean to navigate. Research and develop a plan and ask for their views, I will tell you that they will consider your ideas and or concerns and you will enjoy from freedom....
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Old 05-24-2007, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Happiness is found inside your smile :)
3,177 posts, read 9,896,046 times
Reputation: 1158
Sorry Darling

You live under their roof - they pay the bills - they still get to tell you when you can come and go - It's THEIR house, they bought it! It's NOT a hotel!

You want to set your own rules then move out - but right now you have it cushy. You want a life of some struggle - or would you still like your mom making dinners and a full fridge - you want ot have to do ALL the errands? And clean ALL the house? AND go to school? AND work???

Keep the cushy nice life you have - stop whining - it only shows you are too immature to move out anyway.
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Old 05-24-2007, 04:05 PM
 
Location: In the sunshine on a ship with a plank
3,413 posts, read 5,757,187 times
Reputation: 2157
http://www.sawdustcityllc.com/signimg/477.jpg (broken link)

Last edited by pirate girl; 05-24-2007 at 04:06 PM.. Reason: centered
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Old 05-25-2007, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Boonies of Georgia ~~~~ nuttier than a squirrel turd !
1,950 posts, read 3,603,038 times
Reputation: 2189
You only get to live this lifestyle once ! Do not be in such a hurry to get out on your own.
I have a son who will turning 18 soon. I heard for 2 years "When I turn 18 I'm outta here." Well the last time I heard this statement, I told him you got 4 months and your out.
We hide nothing from him, and explain lifes little hurdles very bluntly. It is not easy. Your parents may make it look easy, but that is only from years of experience.
Yes, you may have the right to move out at 18, but be careful and tread lightly, because your parents might also have the right to make you follow thru with your threats.
Last I asked my son about his plans (since time is coming quickly) he has had a change of heart and says he's staying till he is 50 LOL, yeah that ain't gonna work either !
But our point got across.
We have aquaintances that come into financial difficulties (we have our selves) and we explain to him the mistakes that put us in this position. Hind sight is 20/20.
Please be patient, enjoy the benefits of being at home. Too many of us are/were anxious to get out of parents home. You have your whole life ahead of you to pay bills and be on your own, you only have a short time to be carefree and enjoy life without worries !!!!
Make the best of this situation and ENJOY LIFE !!!
P.S. you won't have your parents forever either. (enjoy them)
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Old 05-25-2007, 10:33 AM
 
Location: Debary, Florida
2,267 posts, read 168,309 times
Reputation: 685
Unless your parents are abusing you...you need to take advantage of the free accomodations...

My parents urged me to finish college...I didn't...I thought I should but I didn't...

I have had one job after another, making NOT enough money to really live...I have had some reasonable jobs but been laid off because the company was folding...there were people at those jobs who were not as good at the job BUT made more money then me just because they had a degree.

You can get a two year degree now that would make a HUGE different in your life...

If I had finished college right out of high school, my father would have allowed me to live there for free, pay my schooling and general upkeep...

You have no idea how expensive life is...

Just for instance...I have asthma...when I lost my insurance, the cheapest I could get the meds was from Canada and that cost me 300 bucks a month...

Thats alot of money.
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Old 05-25-2007, 10:55 AM
Status: "Fire Roger Goodell!" (set 6 days ago)
 
Location: Arlington, Virginia
14,816 posts, read 16,877,262 times
Reputation: 15153
as an 18 year old, i feel your need for independence. but trust me you aren't ready to be out on your own. i'd love to be out of my parent's house, but with rent for 1 bedrooms in decent areas starting at $1000 in the DC area and my take home pay of $1050-$1250 a month i have no business threatening to move out. sure, i could stay at one of my friend's houses but they are in very undesirable areas and i don't who they really be runnin wit off the clock. and cost of maintaing a car and health and auto insurance will scare you into staying at home if the rent dosen't. If you go away to college for 1 year you will wish u had the convience of being home. and lisa is right about getting at least a 2-yr degree. i'm trying to find another job now and like 70% of firms won't even call me back b/c i don't have any degree and i live in a stellar job market. this will probably change when i finish my 2-yr degree. so i think u should live it up and do everything while ur parents are paying the tab.
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Florida
2,301 posts, read 4,085,408 times
Reputation: 2249
Listen to the song "Upstairs Downtown" by Toby Keith (even if you don't like country). That will be the story of your life if you decide to move out. Within 30 days you'll be packing up your junk and begging your folks to let you back in.
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Old 05-25-2007, 11:59 AM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 3,618,584 times
Reputation: 411
In many of the states there is actually a law that says your parents are legal responsible for you until you are 21

I really don't think it is a good idea to move out

I know your parents are grouchy

so were mine
and now i am a grouchy parent
and eventually you will be a grouchy parent too

stick with it you are so close to being the independant person you want to be

You have to be able to actually listen to any of the lessons your parents are trying to teach you

I have a 20 yr old and she thought i was an idiot when she left at 18 to go to college
she calls me 5x a day and lets me know often that i was right about this or that
she now realizes that it would have been MUCH easier to finish college quickly if she had stayed here to go to college
It is a struggle when you are on your own workin at Walmart and scheduling classes around a job that doesn't care about your schooling
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