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Old 01-16-2010, 01:46 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,678,902 times
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It's sad when kids are who decide what a family has for dinner.

There were 5 of us kids growing up. My mother made what my father liked for dinner, and we kids ate whatever it was whether we liked it or not. For breakfast, she cooked what she thought we should eat to suit the weather outside or her whim. We ate what she prepared. Lunchtime, we sat down and ate what was on the table.

It never mattered what we preferred. She did the cooking, she did the deciding. We never had a say and accepted that as the way it was. Our family couldn't afford, nor had the desire to make something different for each of us.

It's ridiculous for a child to make the decisions in a family. They don't need that kind of power.
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Kingman AZ
15,370 posts, read 39,018,069 times
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When I was VERY young [about 7] I told my grandmother [at the diner table] that I wasn't going to "eat this sh$%". she quietly picked up my plate and took it to the kitchen....I waited patiently for her to bring me smoething else to eat. The family finished dinner....cleared the table and went into the living room to listen to the radio....the next morning I came down to breakfast [there was no plate for me] along about 11:00am I figured out that #1....I needed to apologize #2....I needed to eat whatever was placed before me.
I have never been a picky eater since that day.
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:46 PM
 
17,080 posts, read 16,251,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
It's sad when kids are who decide what a family has for dinner.

There were 5 of us kids growing up. My mother made what my father liked for dinner, and we kids ate whatever it was whether we liked it or not. For breakfast, she cooked what she thought we should eat to suit the weather outside or her whim. We ate what she prepared. Lunchtime, we sat down and ate what was on the table.

It never mattered what we preferred. She did the cooking, she did the deciding. We never had a say and accepted that as the way it was. Our family couldn't afford, nor had the desire to make something different for each of us.

It's ridiculous for a child to make the decisions in a family. They don't need that kind of power.
I grew up in a pretty big family, too. It was survival of the fittest at dinner time, no doubt about it - LOL. You either ate what was served and liked it or too bad for you. My parents didn't have the time, money or the inclination to be serving up separate meals for all of us.

So when I had my first child, I knew just how to handle dinner time. Uh, until the unexpected happend -

When my first son became old enough for table food, things didn't go all that smoothly. If he didn't out right refuse many foods, he would get a disgusted look on his face and gag the food up. Getting him to eat any kind of variety was a real struggle.

Other than that, he was a normal, happy, active, energetic kid who was growing well so I just assumed that I was doing something wrong. And, I could tell people thought it was because I was spoiling him, (even had a few people tell me that more or less). Which was funny, because I was a loving, but firm mom in every other way. This went on for a couple of years.

Then a routine dental exam revealed the problem. My son had a restricted frenulum (also called tongue tie) that results in - get this - picky eating because the tongue doesn't move freely/the mouth can't open quite as wide, which in turn causes gagging on certain food textures. It's a fairly common condition, although I had never heard of it. It's also a physical condition which means that it can't be nagged, cajoled or power struggled away.

Long story short, the dentist was able to treat my son's tongue tie with simple surgery and he now is able to enjoy all sorts of food textures that used to make him gag. He is still a picky eater but he is adding new foods to his diet all the time.

Sometimes it really isn't about over permissive parenting and spoiled brat power struggles . Every child and every situation is unique.

Last edited by springfieldva; 01-16-2010 at 02:58 PM..
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Old 01-16-2010, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Indiana
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This is a huge issue these days from what I have seen. Parents need to realize thats when they let their children eat only chicken finger/fries (or whatever junk it is) they are doing them a huge disservice. I have a niece who is 4, she will only eat macaroni and cheese, cheese quesadillas and maybe pizza every now and again but won't touch meat of any kind of vegetables. She only drinks sweet tea and coke, won't touch milk, juice or water. Guess what? She is the smallest kid in her daycare class and is sick almost on a weekly basis. They are creating a spoiled little brat who is going to have health issues her entire life. Children should not be dictating what they will and will not do.
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Old 01-16-2010, 05:51 PM
 
Location: wannabeinkentucky
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
Sounds like a sensible approach to me.

The one thing I might suggest is to make your back up food something other than peanut butter, especially if you'll be offering it to young kids - it often takes repeated exposure to peanuts before a child has an allergic reaction.
This is going to sound terrible, but if a parent feeds his/her kid peanut butter at home, I'm not going to worry about the kid getting an allergic reaction from eating peanut butter at my house. Tho there usually is some jelly in the fridge. Tho it's no sugar added and has splenda - hubby can't eat sugar - so I'm not sure how safe that is for small children either.
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Old 01-16-2010, 05:54 PM
 
Location: wannabeinkentucky
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chadro77 View Post
This is a huge issue these days from what I have seen. Parents need to realize thats when they let their children eat only chicken finger/fries (or whatever junk it is) they are doing them a huge disservice. I have a niece who is 4, she will only eat macaroni and cheese, cheese quesadillas and maybe pizza every now and again but won't touch meat of any kind of vegetables. She only drinks sweet tea and coke, won't touch milk, juice or water. Guess what? She is the smallest kid in her daycare class and is sick almost on a weekly basis. They are creating a spoiled little brat who is going to have health issues her entire life. Children should not be dictating what they will and will not do.
OMG you must be my granddaughter's aunt/uncle. lol

At my house she's offered milk or water, once in a while juice. She usually drinks milk. At my house she's not asked what she wants to eat - mean Gramma T! - and guess what? She eats what I put in front of her. And yes, she's only 4. But once her momma is in the room, whine city. Tho at Gramma T's she knows the whining won't get her very far, even if Mom is around. And guess what? She still begs to come see me as often as she can!
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Old 01-16-2010, 08:15 PM
 
Location: Indiana
1,333 posts, read 3,213,972 times
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Originally Posted by serate View Post
OMG you must be my granddaughter's aunt/uncle. lol

At my house she's offered milk or water, once in a while juice. She usually drinks milk. At my house she's not asked what she wants to eat - mean Gramma T! - and guess what? She eats what I put in front of her. And yes, she's only 4. But once her momma is in the room, whine city. Tho at Gramma T's she knows the whining won't get her very far, even if Mom is around. And guess what? She still begs to come see me as often as she can!
I think children crave discipline. My wife is strict with her niece and she is a perfect angel, soon as mom shows up she turns into a little devil.
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Old 01-17-2010, 12:56 PM
 
17,080 posts, read 16,251,026 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by serate View Post
This is going to sound terrible, but if a parent feeds his/her kid peanut butter at home, I'm not going to worry about the kid getting an allergic reaction from eating peanut butter at my house. Tho there usually is some jelly in the fridge. Tho it's no sugar added and has splenda - hubby can't eat sugar - so I'm not sure how safe that is for small children either.
That doesn't sound terrible at all.

If I knew that a parent regularly fed their child peanuts and/or peanut butter at their home, I would feel comfortable offering that particular child peanut butter at my home, too.

I would just be reluctant to offer PB as a stand by if I didn't know much about the child's eating history. Of course, if the parent were there and they said it was o.k. - I would be comfortable offering PB to the child.

Last edited by springfieldva; 01-17-2010 at 01:25 PM..
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Old 01-17-2010, 01:15 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,678,902 times
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Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
Sometimes it really isn't about over permissive parenting and spoiled brat power struggles . Every child and every situation is unique.
It's seldom due to physical disabilities. Almost always due to manipulation.
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Old 01-17-2010, 01:40 PM
 
43,011 posts, read 107,739,078 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by springfieldva View Post
I would just be reluctant to offer PB as a stand by if I didn't know much about the child's eating history. Of course, if the parent were there and they said it was o.k. - I would be comfortable offering PB to the child.
If a parent doesn't specifically give me restrictions, I'll offer any food to any child.

I expect parents to tell me if their children have allergies. And I expect children to be taught to warn people if they have allergies.

From my experience, any parent who has a child who is allergic to peanut butter makes sure you know it if the child will be in your care.
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