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My oldest son was the easiest kid to discipline! The 1-2-3 thing worked awesome & time outs too! I only HAD to spank his butt a couple times.
But; our 3 year old is a nightmare (it breaks my heart to say). He's defiant, bold etc. When told NO to almost anything he screams at the top of his lungs NON-stop!!! And throws things!!! We have tried everything with this boy!!! 1-2-3, time outs, yelling, canceling outings, spanking etc. NOTHING works!!! We changed his diet to NO artificial colours or flavors and that worked wonders for about 2 mnths... Then BOOM right back only worse than before!!!
At times I wish I could just become invisible!!! We don't let him get away with bad behavior but he gets madder when punished, he doesn't even cry or anything when he's spanked. He's in pre-school 2 part days a week... He sleeps from 9pm - 8am and still has naps 4-5 days a week. He throws food on the floor, pours drinks on the floor etc. Today has been a nightmare since 8am this am (it's now 6:45pm) and it's been a VERY L O N G day for the rest of us!!! We're at our wits end here, I'm VERY discouraged and desperate for resolution!!! I used to see other ppls kids behave like this and think, "IF they'd discipline their kids, they wouldn't behave like this!" But; I've learned with our 3 yr old, with SOME kids it doesn't seem to matter how you discipline them, they still have the same behaviors...
Desperate for advice & answers as at this point I can't cope anymore!!!
My oldest son was the easiest kid to discipline! The 1-2-3 thing worked awesome & time outs too! I only HAD to spank his butt a couple times.
But; our 3 year old is a nightmare (it breaks my heart to say). He's defiant, bold etc. When told NO to almost anything he screams at the top of his lungs NON-stop!!! And throws things!!! We have tried everything with this boy!!! 1-2-3, time outs, yelling, canceling outings, spanking etc. NOTHING works!!! We changed his diet to NO artificial colours or flavors and that worked wonders for about 2 mnths... Then BOOM right back only worse than before!!!
At times I wish I could just become invisible!!! We don't let him get away with bad behavior but he gets madder when punished, he doesn't even cry or anything when he's spanked. He's in pre-school 2 part days a week... He sleeps from 9pm - 8am and still has naps 4-5 days a week. He throws food on the floor, pours drinks on the floor etc. Today has been a nightmare since 8am this am (it's now 6:45pm) and it's been a VERY L O N G day for the rest of us!!! We're at our wits end here, I'm VERY discouraged and desperate for resolution!!! I used to see other ppls kids behave like this and think, "IF they'd discipline their kids, they wouldn't behave like this!" But; I've learned with our 3 yr old, with SOME kids it doesn't seem to matter how you discipline them, they still have the same behaviors...
Desperate for advice & answers as at this point I can't cope anymore!!!
Lilbratt
It sounds like the spanking isn't working. I'd quit that. If he's impulsive, which it sounds like he is, he'll think hitting is ok. Have you talked to your pediatrician about it? Normally, I'd think it was lack of discipline, but if you've tried everything you said, and did the same with your older one and it worked, there might be something else going on.
But; our 3 year old is a nightmare (it breaks my heart to say). He's defiant, bold etc. When told NO to almost anything he screams at the top of his lungs NON-stop!!! And throws things!!! We have tried everything with this boy!!! 1-2-3, time outs, yelling, canceling outings, spanking etc. NOTHING works!!! We changed his diet to NO artificial colours or flavors and that worked wonders for about 2 mnths... Then BOOM right back only worse than before!!!
At times I wish I could just become invisible!!! We don't let him get away with bad behavior but he gets madder when punished, he doesn't even cry or anything when he's spanked. He's in pre-school 2 part days a week... He sleeps from 9pm - 8am and still has naps 4-5 days a week. He throws food on the floor, pours drinks on the floor etc.
Desperate for advice & answers as at this point I can't cope anymore!!!
Lilbratt
What do you do when he throws food on the floor / pours drinks on the floor?
My reaction would be to immediately remove him from the table; the meal is over for him at that point. He can attempt to eat at the next meal.
Don't worry; kids won't starve themselves!
At his age, the extreme defiance may just be a naturally headstrong personality combined with the temper of a 3-year-old.
You say punishment doesn't work. What are you doing to punish besides spanking?
The Supernanny method of removal ("Naughty Rug") is very effective.
You HAVE to do it correctly. Do NOT give him any positive reinforcement, eye contact, etc during the time he's on it.
Be robotic; save the affection for when he is behaving.
Is he drinking just water and milk? or are you also giving him sugary things like juice, soda, energy drinks? <--don't laugh, I know parents who let their kids drink that stuff and then wonder why they act out!
Is he getting a combo of protein and carbs at meals?
Do you have a schedule? Kids want to know YOU are in charge.
When they feel that no one is in charge, they feel insecure and act out.
You probably already know this from your older child but I'm just sayin.'
Thanks for replying! Jesse is removed from the table when he throws his food etc. He has been told that he has to get down so the rest of the family can enjoy their dinner. He usually at this point will go sit on the couch till we're done. He is only allowed one small juice a day and doesn't eat candy etc. He has a great variety of healthy foods he likes and meal time isn't always bad - he loves chicken, MOST vegies etc... We've come to realize that he is better with any of us one on one. I'm home with him full time, and he's now going to Preschool 2 full days a week. Things seem to be fine at preschool. He's usually pretty good during the day when it's just him & I at home or if he's home with his dad. It's can get crazy though if he's been with me all day, then his dad & brother come home. He in a speech therapy prgm bi-weekly as he didn't advance past the "Momma, Dadda" stage. It's been a year & he's now beginning to say some little sentences. He plays well with other kids and is a very happy, but; VERY busy NON-stop little boy. We've been offering him choices now when he wants a snack... this, or this, or nothing and it's working pretty well. We're hopefully getting somewhere. We pretty much for the most part have a routine, and he knows what is going to happen... The hard part are those days that he doesn't want to do an activity he usually enjoys, those are the days he throws the game, craft etc onto the floor...
I've gone over ALL my notes etc I kept when we changed his diet. Can't find nothing different. I've kept him on the diet as he likes the food etc and we're hoping things improve. Taking him to his Pediatrician regarding all this on Feb 3rd. He does get worse when he's tired, he gets cranky. He is a good kid to go to bed, never any issues with that, except now at nap time. He's 3 1/2 and isn't that fussy about naps now. But; when he's really tired he will ask to nap. His Doc is gonna run some tests to see if Jesse is high or low in some vitamins or minerals etc. If so, then we will be adding / removing until there is a better balance.
We gave up the spanking, did it as a last resort. I find it sooo frustrating that my oldest was so easy... the 1-2-3 thing still worked on him till he was 11yrs. It's heartbreaking, as Jesse can be the sweetest lil' boy & he's very loving, full of hugs & kisses etc. We're having an appt with his Pedi on Feb 3rd & hopefully we can get some issues looked at. He's gonna do some tests to check his levels of minerals & vitiamins etc check for imbalances then we'll adapt from there...
We're talking with his Pedi on Feb 3rd. Checking for imbalances and high / low of vitamins & minerals! Hoping there is an answer there! Thanks!!!
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