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Old 01-26-2010, 09:39 AM
 
Location: here
17,049 posts, read 14,626,378 times
Reputation: 13955

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I'm getting sick of threads turning into working mom vs stay at home mom debates. The SAHMs sound so high and mighty as they say "I would never leave my child at a day care..." "We sacrificed..." We all make choices. Being a SAHM does not make you a "better" mom. And there is more to the making the decision than sacrificing vacations and cable TV. I had years of time invested in my job when my kids were born. that meant I accrued vacation at twice the rate of a new hire. I was never ever denied a day off that I asked for. If I had quit then tried to go back a year or 2 later, I would have had to start over. I wouldn't have had all the vacation hours to use if my child got sick or if I just wanted to spend a day with him. not to mention the pay rate, retirement...I just can't stand when people make it so black and white. It's not, and every situation is different.

I have worked full time, part time, and now stay home, so I've done it all, and I really don't feel like a better mom now than I was when I worked.

 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:41 AM
 
Location: Denver area
17,133 posts, read 12,516,478 times
Reputation: 19571
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I'm getting sick of threads turning into working mom vs stay at home mom debates. The SAHMs sound so high and mighty as they say "I would never leave my child at a day care..." "We sacrificed..." We all make choices. Being a SAHM does not make you a "better" mom. And there is more to the making the decision than sacrificing vacations and cable TV. I had years of time invested in my job when my kids were born. that meant I accrued vacation at twice the rate of a new hire. I was never ever denied a day off that I asked for. If I had quit then tried to go back a year or 2 later, I would have had to start over. I wouldn't have had all the vacation hours to use if my child got sick or if I just wanted to spend a day with him. not to mention the pay rate, retirement...I just can't stand when people make it so black and white. It's not, and every situation is different.

I have worked full time, part time, and now stay home, so I've done it all, and I really don't feel like a better mom now than I was when I worked.
Tried to rep you but you know the story...
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:43 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,939 posts, read 9,737,836 times
Reputation: 4281
Quote:
Originally Posted by ki0eh View Post
Kids have to learn to deal with other kids and to learn that the world doesn't revolve around their own precious self. So why not daycare, especially for an only child?
Why not preschool instead? I don't see the benefits of putting kids as young as 6 weeks old into daycare centers. I totally agree with sending them to preschool once they're 3 or 4 to learn some basic skills and socialization with other kids...but not to a daycare center for 9+ hours a day. Unless someone is a single parent, daycare is not a necessity.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:45 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,939 posts, read 9,737,836 times
Reputation: 4281
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I'm getting sick of threads turning into working mom vs stay at home mom debates. The SAHMs sound so high and mighty as they say "I would never leave my child at a day care..." "We sacrificed..." We all make choices. Being a SAHM does not make you a "better" mom. And there is more to the making the decision than sacrificing vacations and cable TV. I had years of time invested in my job when my kids were born. that meant I accrued vacation at twice the rate of a new hire. I was never ever denied a day off that I asked for. If I had quit then tried to go back a year or 2 later, I would have had to start over. I wouldn't have had all the vacation hours to use if my child got sick or if I just wanted to spend a day with him. not to mention the pay rate, retirement...I just can't stand when people make it so black and white. It's not, and every situation is different.

I have worked full time, part time, and now stay home, so I've done it all, and I really don't feel like a better mom now than I was when I worked.
So, for the Cliff's Notes version, accrued vacation time, pay rate, and retirement is more important than your kids well-being?
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Denver area
17,133 posts, read 12,516,478 times
Reputation: 19571
Quote:
Unless someone is a single parent, daycare is not a necessity.
You don't know anyone else's situation besides your own. You cannot make across the board pronouncements like that and besides that this IS NOT a question of whether or not kids should be in daycare....
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:49 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,939 posts, read 9,737,836 times
Reputation: 4281
Also, did anyone ever stop to think that all of the problems that exist with kids today are a direct result of less parental involvement with their kids than ever before? In past generations, mom stayed home, or grandma was around to watch the kids. Now they're pushed off into daycare centers more than ever. And all of a sudden we live in a society where it seems every other kid has some kind of mental or behavioral disorder, and are put on all sorts of medications.

Now all that happens is the kids are at the daycare center from 7 or 8 in the morning until 5 at night...then shuffled in the minivan from structured extracuricular activity to the next....there's hardly any family time anymore.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:53 AM
 
3,425 posts, read 6,443,716 times
Reputation: 1864
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Also, did anyone ever stop to think that all of the problems that exist with kids today are a direct result of less parental involvement with their kids than ever before? In past generations, mom stayed hom, or grandma was around to watch the kids. Now they're pushed off into daycare centers more than ever. And all of a sudden we live in a society where it seems every other kid has some kind of mental or behavioral disorder, and are put on all sorts of medications.

Now all that happens is the kids are at the daycare center from 7 or 8 in the morning until 5 at night...then shuffled in the minivan from structured extracuricular activity to the next....there's hardly any family time anymore.
Please re-read maciesmom's statement below.... you can start your own daycare vs. sahp thread if you want. While its been debated to death, I am sure you will find plenty of people to debate with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
this IS NOT a question of whether or not kids should be in daycare....
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Pike County, PA
1,139 posts, read 1,803,463 times
Reputation: 563
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post
I'm getting sick of threads turning into working mom vs stay at home mom debates. The SAHMs sound so high and mighty as they say "I would never leave my child at a day care..." "We sacrificed..." We all make choices. Being a SAHM does not make you a "better" mom. And there is more to the making the decision than sacrificing vacations and cable TV. I had years of time invested in my job when my kids were born. that meant I accrued vacation at twice the rate of a new hire. I was never ever denied a day off that I asked for. If I had quit then tried to go back a year or 2 later, I would have had to start over. I wouldn't have had all the vacation hours to use if my child got sick or if I just wanted to spend a day with him. not to mention the pay rate, retirement...I just can't stand when people make it so black and white. It's not, and every situation is different.

I have worked full time, part time, and now stay home, so I've done it all, and I really don't feel like a better mom now than I was when I worked.
No need to be so defensive just because you disagree. Take a pill why don't you.

SO SORRY I offended you by making my own PERSONAL observations based on my own PERSONAL opinion.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:56 AM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
346 posts, read 487,956 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by uptown_urbanist View Post

I also think it's unfair to compare unlicensed in-home daycares to licensed daycare centers. It's like apples and oranges. Things like a 10 kid to one adult ratio aren't legal.
This is incorrect: 10 kids to one adult is legal in many situations. In PA, for preschoolers the legal ratio for licenced centers is 10 kids:1 adult. This is much better than in TX, where 3 years olds can be 15:1, 4 years olds can be 18:1 and 5 years olds can be 22:1

In TX, a Licenced in-home care provider can care for up to 12 over 18 months of age as long as 4 are between 4-13 years of age.

I send my kids to daycare because of the accountability and dependability but I would never send them to one with the ratios legal in TX
 
Old 01-26-2010, 09:58 AM
 
Location: NE PA
7,939 posts, read 9,737,836 times
Reputation: 4281
Quote:
Originally Posted by KarenRice View Post
No need to be so defensive just because you disagree. Take a pill why don't you.

SO SORRY I offended you by making my own PERSONAL observations based on my own PERSONAL opinion.
The daycare people get touchy when you call them out on their materialism, don't they?
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