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Old 01-26-2010, 12:38 PM
 
28,206 posts, read 20,673,456 times
Reputation: 16593

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Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Children come before career goals. They become priority #1 when you become a parent. If people don't like that, they shouldn't become parents. There's plenty of effective methods of birth control out there.



The unemployment rate is sky-high and rising. There would be plenty of people to fill those jobs.

There's nothing wrong with someone wanting a career...but they need to take a good hard look at their priorities, and if having a career is their goal, then maybe being a parent isn't the wisest choice if that career would result in infants being put in daycare. They'd be better off getting a cat.

I'm sorry but I so totally and honestly disagree with you that I can't properly convey it in words.

You do realize that back in the "good ole days" both parents many times worked. Albeit the mom was at home taking in wash, alterations, etc or working as a maid somewhere, but both parents did work.

This utopian nuclear family POV so many people hold is as big of a myth as the glorification of the stay at home mother.

 
Old 01-26-2010, 12:41 PM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,838,129 times
Reputation: 4382
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post

This utopian nuclear family POV so many people hold is as big of a myth as the glorification of the stay at home mother.
It doesn't have to be a "myth." And honestly, its not. Even if its unfortunately not the norm these days, it is not a myth.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 12:42 PM
 
28,206 posts, read 20,673,456 times
Reputation: 16593
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Yes I do, I have 2 sons, and sure, what is wrong with that? You're taking the typical attitude that being a stay at home parent is somehow beneath someone who has a "career."

Anyways, I'm not raising my kids to be any certain occupation, I'm sure they'll figure out what they want to be when they grow up on their own.

And you have the typical "work out of home parents can't possibly be as involved in their kids lives" attitude that is so prevalent in the family values arena. Which is ironic, because anyone that truly does value family would recognize that many parents work for the betterment of themselves and their families.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 12:44 PM
 
28,206 posts, read 20,673,456 times
Reputation: 16593
Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
It doesn't have to be a "myth." And honestly, its not. Even if its unfortunately not the norm these days, it is not a myth.

It IS a myth. One parent SAH and one parent WOH is no more agreeable to a healthy balanced family than both parents SAH or both parents working.

Parenting isn't and should not be judged on one's work status.

It's such a non-indicator of the fitfulness of a parent.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 12:57 PM
 
Location: Swisshelm Park, Pittsburgh, PA
356 posts, read 781,397 times
Reputation: 354
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scientist Mom View Post
This is much better than in TX, where 3 years olds can be 15:1, 4 years olds can be 18:1 and 5 years olds can be 22:1

In TX, a Licenced in-home care provider can care for up to 12 over 18 months of age as long as 4 are between 4-13 years of age.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
I feel the need to clear up a few incorrect facts listed in previous posts regarding Texas child care regulations, for those who are interested.

First, ratios for child care centers are completely different than family child care.
While ratios in centers in Texas are higher than many other states, there are other states with ratios as high.
Centers are required to be licensed and the ratios are:
4:1 for 6 weeks up to 11 months
5:1 for 12 months up to 17 months
9:1 for 18 months up to 23 months
11:1 for 2 yr olds
15:1 for 3 yr olds
18:1 for 4 yr olds
22:1 for 5 yr olds
26:1 for 6 thru 13 yr olds

.

Family child care homes operate under a completely different ratio guideline.

There are 4 types of family child care homes and each one has different ratio guidelines.


Licensed homes are required to meet all guidelines as well, but are inspected yearly. Their ratios can go as low as 8 to as high as 12. It's confusing, but there is a little bit higher ratios allowed when licensed.

.
Comparing what I wrote and what you wrote, the facts are the same. I don't see what needed to be corrected. But I can understand if you want to point out that not all legal arrangements in TX allow these high ratios.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hypocore View Post
Then as far as many of the blanket statements that have been made, none of them are fully correct. In my almost 28 years of being a parent and 20 years of being in child care I can say with complete confidence that there are just as many good homes as there are centers and just as many bad centers as there are homes.

Nothing replaces the presence of the parents and the working relationship between them and the provider regarding the goings on inside.

Whatever type child care you choose, whether family members, babysitters or child care, if you go into it informed and ask the right questions, chances are you will indeed end up with a good fit.

.
Totally agree with you about this
 
Old 01-26-2010, 01:00 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,984,374 times
Reputation: 32387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25 View Post
I think you are *drastically* underestimating things like saving for college and retirement, etc.

We drive a "regular" car and it still costs an arm and a leg.

Furthermore, many families have to work two jobs around here to even make $40K per year.

You are oversimplifying the issue.


Quote:
Originally Posted by go phillies View Post
Children come before career goals. They become priority #1 when you become a parent. If people don't like that, they shouldn't become parents. There's plenty of effective methods of birth control out there.

The unemployment rate is sky-high and rising. There would be plenty of people to fill those jobs.

There's nothing wrong with someone wanting a career...but they need to take a good hard look at their priorities, and if having a career is their goal, then maybe being a parent isn't the wisest choice if that career would result in infants being put in daycare. They'd be better off getting a cat.
Yes, since my children are my priority, I am going to make sure that we save money for them to go to college so they don't graduate with student loans to pay back. I'm going to make sure that we save for retirement so that we don't become a burden on them when they are grown and should be enjoying their own kids, not taking care of their aging parents. I stay at home now, which was always meant to be temporary. As soon as they are both is school, I'm going back to work to make sure we all have a secure financial future.

People are different. It is not one size fits all. That's all anyone is asking you to see/admit. Having a SAHP is ideal for a lot of families, but not ALWAYS in EVERY situation.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 01:02 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
706 posts, read 1,518,995 times
Reputation: 860
damn, the judgment is strong in this thread. Both ways. Holy cow, people, seriously? People cannot parent correctly and should get a cat if both work???? Really?

processed foods and Disney make people bad parents. Really.

I feel like a SNL skit. geez.

And for the record, I am a SAHM. But I know not everyone's situation is the same. I've seen crappy parents who are SAHP, work from home parents, 40 hr/week parents and every situation in between. I've seen good, loving, involved parents who never lose their cool with their kids, whose kids are well behaved and excell in school who are SAHp/s, work at home parents, 40 hr/week parents and everything inbetween.

I mean, seriously, people!
 
Old 01-26-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 20,282,202 times
Reputation: 21296
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCGMetroWest View Post
.
ETA: momof2dfw makes GREAT points. I totally agree about the driving and lack of monitoring of visitors.
These are good points and I'm not advocating or arguing one or way or the other, but here in hot, hot Texas we have had more than one incident locally where daycare center goes on a field trip and a child was left in the van and died from the heat. With just a few children, this would be a lot less likely than with a larger group such as a daycare. Just something else to consider in the equation... Also, not all private home providers take the children out in their car. If they did, I would not be comfortable with that at all.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 01:17 PM
 
Location: NE PA
7,936 posts, read 13,838,129 times
Reputation: 4382
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305 View Post




As soon as they are both is school, I'm going back to work to make sure we all have a secure financial future.

.
I don't think I ever said anything about my wife or any other parent not working forever...just while the kids are young so they don't have to go to daycare. I honestly could never leave an infant at a daycare center, where they will spend more waking hours with a low-wage daycare worker than with a parent.

And we do save as much as possible for college or whatever they may use the money for...but with the way college tuition is going, there is no way anyone who is not very well off can just write a check and pay their kids' college tuition, especially 10+ years from now. Unfortunately that's another place the middle class gets screwed...I'm in that range of making a decent salary, but nowhere near enough to just pay my kids' tuition in cash, but I'm not low income either, so they won't be eleigible for much if any financial aid other than loans.
 
Old 01-26-2010, 01:22 PM
 
10,630 posts, read 23,364,878 times
Reputation: 6702
I agree. My home-based daycare didn't bring the kids out; they stayed at the home. I preferred that. The family living in the house all had had background checks; I suppose her adult children who sometimes visited didn't have all the checks, but I wouldn't have left my son there if I didn't trust the owner's judgement.

Luckily I had the money to afford decent daycare. Everyone deserves to have that option.

As a current mostly SAHM I wish there were more quality drop-in centers around. It's a major hassle dealing with things like doctor appointments, etc. They're really hard to find these days.
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