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Old 01-28-2010, 05:30 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
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If she lived at the school, would that be considered part of what he had to pay? Sounds as though he'd be getting off cheaper to pay for transportation.
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Old 01-28-2010, 05:34 PM
 
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I think the student should pay for her own car. As others have said, if the mom was struggling, they should have come up with a battleplan for how they would get her the car she would require if she attended this particular school: a summer job with the proceeds paying for vehicle or whatever.

The need for the car wasn't something that just came out of thin air. If the mom is still struggling, then the daughter has to step up and contribute. One of my best friends took 5 years to graduate from college because he had to work to pay his tuition and car and had to take less of a courseload. You do what you have to do.

Being angry at the father does nothing to aid in securing a car for the girl. It's wasted energy complaining and being bitter about it.
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Old 01-28-2010, 06:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
If she lived at the school, would that be considered part of what he had to pay? Sounds as though he'd be getting off cheaper to pay for transportation.
Exactly, as I said. He is getting off cheaper by helping provide transportation than paying for room and board. Take him back to court.

I'm not being vindictive, I am not divorced, and have no particular axe to grind (and we pay 100% of our kids college expenses, because we think it is necessary to continue education in the today's world). I just hate to hear of parents who dump the responsibility of their kids on the custodial parent.
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Old 01-28-2010, 07:26 PM
 
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It's a fact that if the girl took out student loans and applied for grants, etc., out of pocket for HER and her parents would be a lot less. Room and board is included in expenses with loans and grants. And why can't she get a part time job? A LOT of kids have to work their way through college. If she wants to go badly enough she will find her own transportation. She's lucky her dad is helping at all.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:33 PM
 
41,704 posts, read 46,172,177 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
If she lived at the school, would that be considered part of what he had to pay? Sounds as though he'd be getting off cheaper to pay for transportation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Exactly, as I said. He is getting off cheaper by helping provide transportation than paying for room and board. Take him back to court.
That's not a solution because it goes both ways.

The mother is also getting off cheap by paying for transportation because she's also have to pay half of room and board if the daughter lived at college.
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Old 01-28-2010, 08:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ShanesG View Post
.....perhaps she should live with your ex and he not pay child support.
I think this is a brilliant solution!
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Old 01-28-2010, 10:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
At 18 years old a kid still has a lot of growing up to do and in general they are not ready to be thrust into the world and be completely self-supporting. Though I do agree, if you don't start mentoring them toward self-sufficiency at this age they won't be ready for full adulthood at 21.

Many parents believe that if an 18 year old is going to school full-time that they should not have the added burden of working full-time to pay for a car and all it's expenses.

Other parents believe you should drop the kid like a hot potato the minute he turns 18 and force them to be on their own.

Personally, I think a more middle of the road approach is best - a kid can work every summer to add to a car fund so that he can buy that first car at some point, or he/she could work part-time while in school to help defray their college expenses so that mom and dad don't have to cover everything.
Well - that depends. Some kids are still going to be kids and dependent on parents at age 40 but some kids are adults by age 18, some are self-reliant, joining the military, figuring out affordable ways to attend college, pretty much paying their way on everything.

It's up to the parents if they want to go deeply in debt to pay for college or whatever the child wants and no one is going to stop the parents who want to pay -- no matter how old the child gets, I just believe that there comes a point when the parents are no longer obligated by law to support adult children.

I know people who will be paying off their kid's college long after they retire -- and the kid has a large income, making more right out of college than the parent makes now. Since it's the kid who will greatly benefit financially by having a degree, it's also feasible for the kid to take loans instead of expecting one or both parents to pay -- but again, if the parents want to pay, want to take on debt or have the cash it's their choice.
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Old 01-29-2010, 08:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by malamute View Post
Well - that depends. Some kids are still going to be kids and dependent on parents at age 40 but some kids are adults by age 18, some are self-reliant, joining the military, figuring out affordable ways to attend college, pretty much paying their way on everything.

It's up to the parents if they want to go deeply in debt to pay for college or whatever the child wants and no one is going to stop the parents who want to pay -- no matter how old the child gets, I just believe that there comes a point when the parents are no longer obligated by law to support adult children.

I know people who will be paying off their kid's college long after they retire -- and the kid has a large income, making more right out of college than the parent makes now. Since it's the kid who will greatly benefit financially by having a degree, it's also feasible for the kid to take loans instead of expecting one or both parents to pay -- but again, if the parents want to pay, want to take on debt or have the cash it's their choice.
It's the family's choice, not necessarily viewed as an "obligation". I am divorced. Our only child is in college now. Neither my ex or I went to college. She is a good person, good student, and we both want better for her than what we had. She got a small scholarship, she is taking out student loans, and my ex and I are both taking out PLUS loans. That way the expense is shared by all.
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Old 01-29-2010, 08:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
It's the family's choice, not necessarily viewed as an "obligation". I am divorced. Our only child is in college now. Neither my ex or I went to college. She is a good person, good student, and we both want better for her than what we had. She got a small scholarship, she is taking out student loans, and my ex and I are both taking out PLUS loans. That way the expense is shared by all.
Did you check into a Pell Grant or other grants?

IMO, parents are OBLIGATED to a child's education through 12th grade. Anything after that, especially since the offspring is considered adult at 18, should, for the most part, be shouldered by the student.

When the student is responsible for the lion's share of their education in college, that education becomes worth a whole lot more to that student. They take it a whole lot more seriously when it costs them.

I think this mother is not doing her daughter justice by the parents paying for the education, especially when money is tight, then expecting the father to go an extra mile as well to furnish a car. The daughter should be responsible for SOMETHING in her life at this point.
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Old 01-29-2010, 08:39 AM
 
41,704 posts, read 46,172,177 times
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Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
Did you check into a Pell Grant or other grants?

IMO, parents are OBLIGATED to a child's education through 12th grade. Anything after that, especially since the offspring is considered adult at 18, should, for the most part, be shouldered by the student.

When the student is responsible for the lion's share of their education in college, that education becomes worth a whole lot more to that student. They take it a whole lot more seriously when it costs them.

I think this mother is not doing her daughter justice by the parents paying for the education, especially when money is tight, then expecting the father to go an extra mile as well to furnish a car. The daughter should be responsible for SOMETHING in her life at this point.
You're clearly missing the fact that there is a court order that this child be provided a college education by her parents.
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