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At 18 years old a kid still has a lot of growing up to do and in general they are not ready to be thrust into the world and be completely self-supporting. Though I do agree, if you don't start mentoring them toward self-sufficiency at this age they won't be ready for full adulthood at 21.
Many parents believe that if an 18 year old is going to school full-time that they should not have the added burden of working full-time to pay for a car and all it's expenses.
Other parents believe you should drop the kid like a hot potato the minute he turns 18 and force them to be on their own.
Personally, I think a more middle of the road approach is best - a kid can work every summer to add to a car fund so that he can buy that first car at some point, or he/she could work part-time while in school to help defray their college expenses so that mom and dad don't have to cover everything.
I agree with you here. My children had to get part-time jobs in order to put away money to buy a car. Hubby is a mechanic so they were able to get very inexpensive cars for them. They had to purchase the parts and dad taught them and helped them work on their cars. Even though my daughter didn't drive until she was 20, she bought a truck at the age of 16 and completely restored it with a little bit of help from her dad. She sold that vehicle and used the money to purchase another vehicle for practically nothing. It needed some engine work, new struts, and new tires, but the body and interior were in immaculate condition. She paid for everything done to her car and helped with the repairs as well.
My son has done the same thing.....As other posters have said, driving is a privilege.....children should have to learn to make sacrifices and put away money for things like cars, insurance, car parts and repairs, phones. It's a darn good start on learning how to live independently.
Everyone suggesting that she live at college is missing the fact that room and board will cost more than her transportation costs.
These posts throughout the thread over who pays more are annoying to me. I hate to hear divorced parents fight over money---especially when child support is being paid.
Unless child support is minimal, it does cover 1/2 of the expenses of raising a child on a day to day basis. Children aren't that expensive. I'm complaining about the parents who receive $600-$800 a month and say it's not enough. Be realistic. It does not cost $1,200-$1,600 a month to raise one child who doesn't need to attend a private school.
The reality is that many custodial parents use the monthly child support payments for their own standard of living. If they put all of the money into a separate account and only withdrew the money for actual expenses, most years there would be money left over. $600/month is $7,200 per year. (Medical expenses are usually listed separately in child support). So the monthly support payments go towards food, clothing, activities, music lessons (if there is enough money), school supplies, etc.
Like parents who remain married, divorced parents need to live within a budget. For instance, if there's not enough money to play hockey, then there just isn't enough money and the child doesn't play hockey.
I managed to raise mine at a very high standard without taking a penny from the biological father so I have limited tollerance for this type of financial nitpicking.
But my point is, WHICHEVER parent the kid is living with is still paying more than the other parent. There are always incidentals and expenses that are above and beyond what child support pays for. So in a situation like this one, even if dad's budget is limited, mom's is still be strained more simply by having her kid live with her.
The custodial parent also has the child most of the time and the non-custodial parent misses A LOT of the growing up. There are perks.
Mom could always have given up custody to Dad and be free of any expense except half of her upbringing.
You make it sound like money is the only factor when it comes to raising a child.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
At 18 years old a kid still has a lot of growing up to do and in general they are not ready to be thrust into the world and be completely self-supporting. Though I do agree, if you don't start mentoring them toward self-sufficiency at this age they won't be ready for full adulthood at 21.
Wow, I was married at 18; worked a full time job and a house to take care of. Cooking, cleaning, everything.
Kids need to be mentored toward self-sufficiency WAY earlier than 18.
Honestly, I'd be over the moon if my son's father would agree to pay 1/2 for college. Yes, I know that budgets get tight and transportation is necessary. The thing is, college is a luxury. As with any luxury, it should be contributed to by the beneficiary and any other contribution is a gift, not an expectation.
Honestly, I'd be over the moon if my son's father would agree to pay 1/2 for college. Yes, I know that budgets get tight and transportation is necessary. The thing is, college is a luxury. As with any luxury, it should be contributed to by the beneficiary and any other contribution is a gift, not an expectation.
Everyone suggesting that she live at college is missing the fact that room and board will cost more than her transportation costs.
These posts throughout the thread over who pays more are annoying to me. I hate to hear divorced parents fight over money---especially when child support is being paid.
Unless child support is minimal, it does cover 1/2 of the expenses of raising a child on a day to day basis. Children aren't that expensive. I'm complaining about the parents who receive $600-$800 a month and say it's not enough. Be realistic. It does not cost $1,200-$1,600 a month to raise one child who doesn't need to attend a private school.
The reality is that many custodial parents use the monthly child support payments for their own standard of living. If they put all of the money into a separate account and only withdrew the money for actual expenses, most years there would be money left over. $600/month is $7,200 per year. (Medical expenses are usually listed separately in child support). So the monthly support payments go towards food, clothing, activities, music lessons (if there is enough money), school supplies, etc.
Like parents who remain married, divorced parents need to live within a budget. For instance, if there's not enough money to play hockey, then there just isn't enough money and the child doesn't play hockey.
I managed to raise mine at a very high standard without taking a penny from the biological father so I have limited tollerance for this type of financial nitpicking.
It's a function of the income of the parents. The wife's ex pays in a whopping $240/mo for child support.
He was supposed to cover insurance but that got cut off....so now the insurance is on me. Granted I can get coverage through my employer but the cost just keeps going up.
Every 3 years she can file to have it reevaluated to possibly raise it. We've tried twice...and both times he was either unemployed at the time or he was making so little that it wouldn't have resulted in a raise. But it seems like the guy is always buying guitars and 4 wheelers.
It's a function of the income of the parents. The wife's ex pays in a whopping $240/mo for child support.
He was supposed to cover insurance but that got cut off....so now the insurance is on me. Granted I can get coverage through my employer but the cost just keeps going up.
Every 3 years she can file to have it reevaluated to possibly raise it. We've tried twice...and both times he was either unemployed at the time or he was making so little that it wouldn't have resulted in a raise. But it seems like the guy is always buying guitars and 4 wheelers.
My DH's ex pays 220.00 for TWO children, then tell them that we're the "rich" ones so we need to buy everything they need. Eh, whatever.
Honestly, I'd be over the moon if my son's father would agree to pay 1/2 for college. Yes, I know that budgets get tight and transportation is necessary. The thing is, college is a luxury. As with any luxury, it should be contributed to by the beneficiary and any other contribution is a gift, not an expectation.
Unless you want your kid to have a career at McDonalds, college is MOST CERTAINLY a necessity, not a luxury
The exception would of course be a kid who chose a military career (and even then he'll go further and make more money if he goes in with a college degree) or trade school.
Does 100% of that child support go straight to your daughter??? If not maybe you should find a better career. I see this all to often, thankfull ynot with my parents, but many i know the child support doesn't even go to the kids but rather to expenses for the Mother because she refuses to pay her own way. If 100% of that money goes to your child and it's still not enough, then yes i do believe he should pay half. If not, then perhaps she should live with your ex and he not pay child support.
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