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A troll? possible... More likely is that the poster was a distraught parent who posted on here looking for support. Unfortunately, what she found (with the exception of a few GOOD parents), were people attacking her and calling her a POS mother who needs to get help for her mental instability. Wow! I wonder where she went, probably into a corner somewhere or to the liquor store. She wasn't feeling sh*tty enough, but then she found a bunch of morally screwed up individuals who beat her with a baseball bat when she was curled up in a ball on the floor...... niiiiiiiice!
Anyone who thinks this is anything but a troll should look at how the OP was worded. It reads like a bad novel. A very unrealistic bad novel.
Notice the paragraph about the bathroom.
Quote:
I ran downstairs in a fit of rage, locked myself in the bathroom, had a nervous break down and passed out on the floor. I had to be rushed to the hospital.
If that was the case; the bathroom door locked, and passed out on the floor from a 'nervous breakdown', how would her daughter know and rush her to the hospital? The door was locked. Besides, she would have been committed because of the breakdown for observation.
Yep, it reads like a bad novel. And yet, that was the hand she was dealt. Give me a break.
Quote:
Originally Posted by montaukmadness
I will never forget January 5, 2010, the day my life changed forever. That day my hopes, my dreams, my vision of the future died. That day I realized my only child, the beautiful, brown haired girl I gave birth to sixteen years prior, who I thought I knew, was something I could never imagine. On that day, I realized that I do not know my daughter at all, and in this revelation, a part of me died.
On January 5, 2010, I got home from work early, walked upstairs, opened my daughters closed bedroom door, and found her in bed with another girl. I just stood there, in shock, and unable to react. It was as if I had just been hit with a Mack truck. As soon as they realized I was standing there, they got nervous and embarrassed and the other girl got out of bed and started getting dressed.
Unable to deal with the situation in front of me, I ran downstairs in a fit of rage, locked myself in the bathroom, had a nervous break down and passed out on the floor. I had to be rushed to the hospital.
During the next weeks, I avoided my daughter at all costs. I couldn't speak to her. I couldn't look at her. She was embarrassed and spent most of her time locked in her room. I spent most of my time locked in my room as well, cursing her. Cursing myself. Cursing god (even though I don't believe, I had no one else to blame). Cursing whatever genetic anomaly that made my daughter this way - how could she be like this?
But most of all, cursing society. A society that will hate her, not because of something she did, but because of who she is. You see, I'd be lying if I said this doesn't freak me out and even gross me out, because it does. I want grand kids, and I probably will never have them. I want to brag about my daughter to neighbors, friends, and family, and not be embarrassed that she's dating other women and instead of men. I don't want a daughter who's different from the norm.
And yet, that is the hand I dealt.
I'm still not speaking to my daughter. I have no idea what to say, and I know that if I try to say something, I'll just explode and it won't go well.
Please help me get through this and give me advise. Thank you.
You can choose to love your daughter no matter what.
You can continue to assume all kinds of things but not ever know how she's feeling because you won't talk to her.
You can be happy because you still have your daughter. So what if she's a lesbian (or if she's just experimenting)? She's ALIVE. You have your daughter. But there's the risk of allowing this situation to fester into something when it doesn't have to, and then who can say?
You can stop making it about you. I don't mean for that to sound harsh, but your original post did sound a bit dramatic and more concerned with eliciting responses that might say, "You poor, poor thing. How dare your daughter be gay?" I can understand if that's how you reacted, but not everyone would react that way. You can understand that as well, right? Again, not trying to offend.
You can seek advice from friends and family and professionals educated to help people in this type of unfamiliar territory and not from a message board that often veers away from rational discussion and into the lowest common denominator of drivel (It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve! No, it's evolution, stupid! Oh yeah, well gays are not normal! Oh yeah, well you're not normal! Blah-de blah, blah, blah.)
Even if there are professional therapists on this board, they're hiding behind internet handles and can't do you any real good.
OP,
Your daughter may be experimenting or gay. You are going to have to learn to deal with it or lose your daughter. Ask all the parents who have lost children to murderers, in the army, or to drugs whether they'd like a live gay child or dead straight child.
If your post is actually not 'trolling' then you better heed what I say.
I had no idea ths thread would turn into all of this. Never again will I post a personal experience on a message board like this. I didn't know where else to turn. I can't believe people are saying how I "over reacted". Maybe I did, but you can't say how you'd react if unexpectedly put in that situation either.
I went to bed with a heavy heart last night and acknowledged that I have been wrong in not speaking to my daughter in three weeks. But I also realized that I was wronged, by her. She knew that sex in the house was off limits and she defied me when she thought I wasn't there.
I put a note under her door this morning explaining that I'm not mad and I love her but we need to talk to reestablish house rules. I also told her she can talk to me about anything, and if she is gay, she can tell me. I heard her in the kitchen and wanted to say something but didn't.
At this point I don't care who or who doesn't believe me, I just want my daughter back and I hope with all my heart that her indiscretions were just experimental.
Then you need family therapy. Seriously.
This is beyond you and your daughter. Go to counseling and find out how you can all deal with this.
If you have been hospitalized with a nervous breakdown you get automatic counseling. Didn't they offer you this at the hospital? They also don't just dismiss people who faint from breakdowns out into the population.
A troll? possible... More likely is that the poster was a distraught parent who posted on here looking for support. Unfortunately, what she found (with the exception of a few GOOD parents), were people attacking her and calling her a POS mother who needs to get help for her mental instability. Wow! I wonder where she went, probably into a corner somewhere or to the liquor store. She wasn't feeling sh*tty enough, but then she found a bunch of morally screwed up individuals who beat her with a baseball bat when she was curled up in a ball on the floor...... niiiiiiiice!
I don't think your posts helped the OP at all.
The OP isn't a religious homophobe. She doesn't believe homosexuality is a choice.
You just jumped right in and used her as a poster child for your beliefs.
I had no idea ths thread would turn into all of this. Never again will I post a personal experience on a message board like this. I didn't know where else to turn. I can't believe people are saying how I "over reacted". Maybe I did, but you can't say how you'd react if unexpectedly put in that situation either.
I went to bed with a heavy heart last night and acknowledged that I have been wrong in not speaking to my daughter in three weeks. But I also realized that I was wronged, by her. She knew that sex in the house was off limits and she defied me when she thought I wasn't there.
I put a note under her door this morning explaining that I'm not mad and I love her but we need to talk to reestablish house rules. I also told her she can talk to me about anything, and if she is gay, she can tell me. I heard her in the kitchen and wanted to say something but didn't.
At this point I don't care who or who doesn't believe me, I just want my daughter back and I hope with all my heart that her indiscretions were just experimental.
I'm glad you re-established contact. I'm even more thrilled that you let her know how you truly feel.
Up until now, she had no choice but to assume that you were homophobic and hated her.
Silence doesn't clarify feelings. Opening the lines of communication is very important in parenting.
I think the two of you are on your way to becoming even closer.
I had no idea ths thread would turn into all of this. Never again will I post a personal experience on a message board like this.
That's one piece of advice I'd have given you for sure. I'll admit, I never visit this forum but there was no way I could resist after reading that thread title.
I had no idea ths thread would turn into all of this. Never again will I post a personal experience on a message board like this. I didn't know where else to turn. I can't believe people are saying how I "over reacted". Maybe I did, but you can't say how you'd react if unexpectedly put in that situation either.
I went to bed with a heavy heart last night and acknowledged that I have been wrong in not speaking to my daughter in three weeks. But I also realized that I was wronged, by her. She knew that sex in the house was off limits and she defied me when she thought I wasn't there.
I put a note under her door this morning explaining that I'm not mad and I love her but we need to talk to reestablish house rules. I also told her she can talk to me about anything, and if she is gay, she can tell me. I heard her in the kitchen and wanted to say something but didn't.
At this point I don't care who or who doesn't believe me, I just want my daughter back and I hope with all my heart that her indiscretions were just experimental.
Please don't feel disheartened. The only reason why people are saying you overreacted is because your post seems way too good to be true (based on personal experiences). I mean, not to throw water in your face, but to be shocked into coma is quite unheard of, especially when you found out that a) your daughter might be gay b) you found her breaking one of the house rules. Could be the way the media desensitized us or something, but yeah...
As for your situation, you were right to slip her a note. She'll probably come around, but if a week passes without a peep, YOU will have to initiate the talk.
Remember, don't come off in an accusatory tone when talking with her. Calm down, speak eloquently and allow for mucho time as I'm sure it'll be a very long discussion.
Good luck~
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