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You run into all kinds of things then like is the school in control and such. Then if the school came in and said it had to be done this way the parents are going to expect the school to foot the bill. They barely have the money to operate now and trying not to cut teachers.
Then what if Sarah wants a princess party and Billy wants a camo party. Or Brian wants a skating party and his parents would have to do TWO parties so that he can do the skating one and he is still going to invite his friends. Or Julie's grandparents want to be at all of her birthday parties no matter where they are.
Or Tommy has an ortho appt on the day of the big party right after school. Or Emily was out sick. Or...........................
There are just WAY TOO MANY things that can go horribly wrong with something like this.
In our schools the parents can send up cookies or cupcakes for the kids in their class to have at the end of lunch for their kids birthday celebration.
same here. and to reiterate, I NEVER said it is expected that EVERYONE invite the whole class to their party. I didn't say anything even close to that.
I never said that! you said the only reason for inviting everyone was to get more presents. I pointed out another reason - not letting some kids feel left out. Don't put words in my mouth!
Ok, but life isn't equal for anybody. There are always going to be kids not invited for overnights, visiting friend's houses, etc.. Things are never equal and it's wrong for kids to think it is or should be.
Wouldn't it be better to leave those out who aren't really friends than to invite them and have them ignored or talked about while there behind their backs because they aren't so popular with the birthday girl/boy?
I'd rather my child not be invited to someone's party if she isn't real friends with her/him and go to the parties of those who is close to.
OMG, I have never even had a party where I invited the whole class. I'm not advocating for that type of party. All I did is point out a reason some people might do it. Get off my back!!!
Problem is if the parents don't always know the other kids phone number, address or email. My daughter started a new school this year. Her birthday was before any school directory came home so I did not have that info. I tried to find one mom after school one day but could not so my daughter took it to her the next day at school. No biggie. Even when I got my daughters directory there were a good number of students that did not have their contact info in there.
I still say if the kid hands the invite to their friend before/after school and that friend puts it away immediately in their backpack it is NO BUSINESS of the schools what it is. If and when the schools want to step up and pay for the birthday parties then they can dictate who can be invited to MY childs birthday party that I am paying for.
So what if a few kids at recess decide they want to have a slumber party and one kid says it can be at their house. Then the rest of the day when not working they are talking about this "party" at one of thems house and who is coming. Should the school then ban the kids from discussing such so no one is left out.
It is not like the kids are going around handing out an invite to everyone but 1 or 2 kids. If a kid has 4 invites to their closest friends that they have sat down and gone over w/ mom/dad on who they can invite then there are very few that are going to be left out. Most of the class is not invited.
I think we had this discussion about a year ago....Yes, I would typically say that a person can invite anyone they choose to their child's birthday. And yes, if done thoughtfully, it most likely isn't a problem. Therein lies the rub. Grade school children are not always discreet or thoughtful and what a parent may have intended to be quietly tucked in a friend or two's backpack, turns into the waving of invitations around the schoolyard, followed by more drama for the teacher to deal with. So the school ends up saying IF you are handing out invitations AT SCHOOL, please include everyone in the class. In general, if you know who your child hangs out with and are only inviting a few kids (as opposed to only leaving a few out) then a few phone calls should be able to get you the address or phone number of the parents. Obviously, situations can differ - like you said, just moving somewhere might require a bit more effort.... Nothing you can do about discussion but it's not nearly as visual as everyone but one or two kids getting an invitation. It's simply more thoughtful. Personally, never had a party for the entire class. Not my cup of tea. Also didn't hand out invites at school....
OMG, I have never even had a party where I invited the whole class. I'm not advocating for that type of party. All I did is point out a reason some people might do it. Get off my back!!!
That was not directed at you but to anyone who thinks every kid should be invited.
My son is in Kindergarten and their are 26 kids in his class.
We have gotten about 2 invites to parties per month.
Not only do we not have money to be buying 2 presents a month for kids we don't know, but we also feel that kid parties are a bit of a waste of time/money. (we don't have one for our children, only family parties as we have a large family and we take our kids on a trip somewhere with us as a special treat yearly.)
Do your children attend their classmates parties?
I was THINKING of only allowing him to go to the parties of the kids that he talks about all the time (there are 3 of them) because I know those must be the kids he likes and is friends with the most. That way he can attend some but not all.
Is this a good idea?
My son was invited to a bunch in preschool and we declined them all as I thought 3 and 4 was a little young for a bday party.
Yes we let our kids go to their friends/classmates birthday parties. I can understand keeping them from the parties if you TRULY can't afford to buy gifts for the birthday child. Otherwise I think it's mean to keep your child from having a fun time with his friends.
As kids get older they get invited to fewer parties because kids naturally get selective about who they invite as they get older.
There was literally no way to attend every party my son was invited to. Some where at the same time. Some were total girl parties with girl activities (my 3 year son would act up at a princess story-telling party for instance).
The best parties we went to were parties that were for the parents, too, and had alcohol. I know, I know, judge me because I enjoyed a glass of wine at a 4 year old's birthday party. But, I'm telling you, The Dallas County Club, a clown, a monkey, an open bar - very memorable.
When our kids were small we had parties at home, invited the other parents and always served beer and wine. Now that they are older we have had much smaller get togethers (2-4 kids) and the kids usually want to go out.
Ok, but life isn't equal for anybody. There are always going to be kids not invited for overnights, visiting friend's houses, etc.. Things are never equal and it's wrong for kids to think it is or should be.
Wouldn't it be better to leave those out who aren't really friends than to invite them and have them ignored or talked about while there behind their backs because they aren't so popular with the birthday girl/boy?
I'd rather my child not be invited to someone's party if she isn't real friends with her/him and go to the parties of those who is close to.
This sounds more like fear than experience talking.
Have you ever attended a group party? Most elementary school classmates have a really good time at those parties and they are fun for parents to watch.
I can see why these parties might not be fun for all grown ups/all situations but you make them sound like a real bully fest...a way for grown ups to appear like "big shots" and the birthday child to look "popular" and "get gifts".
From my experience, that couldn't be further from the truth....
If your busyness is the issue then Drop and Run.
Well not exactly that but usually the parents of younger kids all meet at child care and pre school and chat and agree that one of us would stay and then bring home three or four kids. This gave the other three parents a couple of hours off. So car pooling helps to make it less effort.
Also you know how some child care centres say don't bring a cake because you end up with like a cake a week (well in my opinion, who cares so long as there is plenty of fresh fruit the rest of the time) Well one child care centre we know (not ours unfortunatley) said tell us when your kids birthday is, send a cake and they made a party out of it. Took the pressure off having parties because you would tell the child that their party is at the child care. We found this out because our child was 'invited' by one of her friends. So we actually went to this other child care centre for an hour one morning to be a part of the party. Sang happy brithday, played pass the parcel and a couple of games, had some cake and party food (including fresh food). The kids had the rest of the day to burn off the sugar. We then left of course because it was not our childs child care centre. To me a great idea.
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you said the only reason for inviting everyone was to get more presents. I pointed out another reason - not letting some kids feel left out. Don't put words in my mouth!
