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So all your neighbors were essentially your babysitters, just from a few feet away instead of right in your house.
So??? See, this is what is SO wrong with our society, no one cares about anyone else any longer. Growing up we knew darn well if we were doing something wrong a neighbor would call our parents and we would be in big trouble when we got home-thus, most kids were pretty well behaved. Now, no one would do that AND if they did the parents would cop an attitude that their special snowflake would "never do such a thing".
We wouldn't hesitate to keep an eye on a neighbor's house if asked in a situation like this, nor would they hesitate to watch ours. It is nice living in a neighborhood where people look out for each other.
Our DS17 has stayed home alone overnight on many occasions and knows not to blow the trust or he would then have to come with us to the places he didn't want to go in the first place thus why he stayed home alone.
I would not call them "babysitters" . They were not responsible for my children in any way. It is just what neighbors, friends and family do. They did not come over and ensure my kids were in bed at a specific time or had put dirty dishes away or turned the oven off. The only thing that ever came close to a "babysitting" thing was when DD was alone, our neighbor did call her and remind her to turn on the front porch light. That is something she really wasn't used to doing (I do that) so it hadn't occurred to her.
Or maybe you turned out that way because your parents were fairly lax, allowed you to make mistakes and learn from them and allowed you to learn to be responsible without hovering over every move you made .
I was being facetious. Yeah, I think that my parents gave me a lot of latitude, but they also made their expectations clear and counted on me to live up to them.
I have two kids. One is very much like me, while the other one needs a bit more guidance. I think my parenting-style is more lax with the first and more hands-on with the second. I'm sure both of them will turn out fine, and I plan to allow both of them to stay home alone long before they graduate from high school.
My husband told me last night that he spent his first weekend alone when he was fifteen. A neighbor checked in on him occasionally, but he was completely responsible for himself and the house.
As I drove home from work yesterday, I was thinking about some of the replies that indicated that older teens should not have baby sitters. One person asked if I would really be hiring a sitter when the child is 17. Several other people talked about kids learning to be independant. Maybe I am planning to be too over protective of my kids.
So at 17, what are my options? And that is a real interesting question to ponder because an 18y.o. is probably not the best babysitter for a 17y.o.. One option is for them to have a sleepover at someone elses place. Thoughts?
I edited your post just so it did not get crazy long. I think there is a big difference between leaving an older teen for the night and leaving him for a few days. If my husband and I had to be gone for an extended period of time we would find a place for our kids to stay where there were responsible adults to look after them OR we would take them with us.
So??? See, this is what is SO wrong with our society, no one cares about anyone else any longer. Growing up we knew darn well if we were doing something wrong a neighbor would call our parents and we would be in big trouble when we got home-thus, most kids were pretty well behaved. Now, no one would do that AND if they did the parents would cop an attitude that their special snowflake would "never do such a thing".
We wouldn't hesitate to keep an eye on a neighbor's house if asked in a situation like this, nor would they hesitate to watch ours. It is nice living in a neighborhood where people look out for each other.
Our DS17 has stayed home alone overnight on many occasions and knows not to blow the trust or he would then have to come with us to the places he didn't want to go in the first place thus why he stayed home alone.
It takes a village that is for sure. I too remember growing up in a town where just about everyone knew who everyone was and whose kids were whose and if a kid was doing something they shouldn't be, their parents would know about it before the kid got home. In fact I am living in that same town now, but the people are no longer the same. Nobody knows anybody anymore or whose kids are whose. I see kids all the time walking or riding their bikes up and down my street and I have no idea who they are or where they live. I try and get to know my neighbors, but it seems that a majority of them don't want to be known. I only know the two neighbors immediately beside me really well, the few others realitively close to me I just barely know their names. One just past away recently so no-one is currently living in her home. Those two neighbors were the only neighbors I could ask to keep an eye out when I left my kids alone.
I miss the days where you knew who every person was that lived on your street as well as neighboring streets. I wish that I had more people who could help me keep an eye out on my kids. I remember kids in my day were better behaved as they knew there was very little they could get away with because there was always somebody who knew them around every corner. Plus I remember feeling safe walking around all over town by myself at 10 yo. because I knew that if I was ever hurt or was being harrassed that there would be someone I knew close enough for me to turn to when I needed help.
This is the reason why DH and I both CANNOT work full time. Someone has to be home for DS especially on 'breaks' from school. He is not ready at almost 12 to be alone for a long period of time and we haven't anyone to look in on him.
If we move, I may consider getting a 'sitter' if we have to...I can't be out of the work force forever.
This is the reason why DH and I both CANNOT work full time. Someone has to be home for DS especially on 'breaks' from school. He is not ready at almost 12 to be alone for a long period of time and we haven't anyone to look in on him.
If we move, I may consider getting a 'sitter' if we have to...I can't be out of the work force forever.
A houskeeper is a good option for that age. The housekeeper can work from right before he comes home until you and your dh get home. She can relieve the housework burden on you, help get dinner started, drive ds to some activities and supervise him in the afternoons. On school breaks you would have to pay extra for extra time.
It takes a village that is for sure. I too remember growing up in a town where just about everyone knew who everyone was and whose kids were whose and if a kid was doing something they shouldn't be, their parents would know about it before the kid got home. In fact I am living in that same town now, but the people are no longer the same. Nobody knows anybody anymore or whose kids are whose. I see kids all the time walking or riding their bikes up and down my street and I have no idea who they are or where they live. I try and get to know my neighbors, but it seems that a majority of them don't want to be known. I only know the two neighbors immediately beside me really well, the few others realitively close to me I just barely know their names. One just past away recently so no-one is currently living in her home. Those two neighbors were the only neighbors I could ask to keep an eye out when I left my kids alone.
I miss the days where you knew who every person was that lived on your street as well as neighboring streets. I wish that I had more people who could help me keep an eye out on my kids. I remember kids in my day were better behaved as they knew there was very little they could get away with because there was always somebody who knew them around every corner. Plus I remember feeling safe walking around all over town by myself at 10 yo. because I knew that if I was ever hurt or was being harrassed that there would be someone I knew close enough for me to turn to when I needed help.
This would be wonderful. I would love to live like this.
Having connections to a community helps people moderate their behaviour.
I wouldn't say I know "everyone" on my street...but I have lived in the same house for 12-13 years. Many of the same people live here as when we first moved in - or within a few years. I do know most of my neighbors and they know who my kids are. My kids were involved in a lot of different activities over the years so we DO know people all over town. I might not know things "before they get home" - but my kids knew/know that if they are out of line or doing stuff they shouldn't be, there is a fair chance someone will see them. DS recently got his driver's license. He had some money saved up and bought a car (almost as old as he is but dependable), he knew as a new driver he wasn't supposed to be driving it without our knowledge. But being young and excited, he walked home for lunch (open campus and we live very close) and decided to drive to Taco Bell (sigh). As luck would have it some other kid, zooming up the street almost hit him as he drove home. Fortunately nothing actually happened. I did however, recieve a call while I was at work from my son not too long after confessing that he had done this, that it would never happen again but he wanted to make sure I heard it from him and not someone else. Those places do still exist.
Thats true. I think an 11 or 12 year old can handle that. At that point, they should be able to entertain themselves. Thanks for your opinions. If only we could take our kids to work!!
Oh thats why I like to work, to get away from my kid.
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