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We are having a VERY difficult time getting our almost 11 year old daughter to clean her room. She can clean her younger brother's room with no problem, but when it comes to her room, it's like an episode of Clean House! If Miss Niecy came into the room I know she'd call it a "hot mess"!
We've given her plastic bins to organize her things. I'll give her clean clothes that I've JUST folded and when I go in to say goodnight those clothes are all over the floor!
She has a tough time focusing when asked to do specific tasks and she does have aspberger's syndrome and high anxiety disorder. So the toughest part of this entire thing is, how much is this uncleanliness is her just being a normal kid, and how much is it the autism, if any?
Any help on how to get her to clean her room, and keep it clean would be SO appreciated.
You've gotten a lot of responses on whether or not it was normal or not but since you asked for advice, here are a couple of suggestions.
Does she value her privacy? Like to spend time in her room alone? Take the door off. Sounds extreme but it really works!
Not only can you restrict her outings with friends until she gets it clean, you can also tell her that she can't have friends over unless it's clean.
I'm not entirely sure about a reward system. You're the parent and if this is something that you feel needs to be done, then it should be done - period. I think rewards could be for things above and beyond the normal things required of her.
On the other hand, I was forced to keep my room clean and hate to have to clean now, even though I do.
We have friends whose daughter is 5 and she is expected to keep her room clean, along with helping every Saturday when the family cleans the whole house (Yep, a family project EVERY Saturday).
I think responsibility can come from having chores as well, not just keeping a room clean. My daughter insists she functions better with her room messy. She knows where things are. However, she never leaves clothes on the floor.
What is wrong with the family cleaning on Saturday mornings? I think everyone we know does this .
Hoosier-maybe she just has too much stuff in her room? I would take everything out but the basics. Keep out of season clothes packed in a box, toys to the basement, etc. Also, the more complicated you make the organizing, the less she will do. Put a basket on her dresser for her hair stuff, a bin in the corner of her room to catch the stuffed animals, etc. and anything that doesn't fit in those goes to another room.
DD is a slob and we put up with it to a point, then we make her clean her room before she can go anywhere, usually about every 2 weeks or so.
For us, Saturday mornings usually include sports or Scouting events; otherwise that would work. Today, it's volleyball and then a Cub Scout gathering.
I don't mind doing the heavy cleaning during the week if the kids will pick up after themselves. I agree that a room clean-out is probably in order. My kids' rooms collect all sorts of papers, broken toys, outgrown clothes, and detritus. Every month or so we sit down on a Sunday afternoon with a trash bin and box for making donations. They don't necessarily like it, but it really helps to keep the chaos to a minimum.
For us, Saturday mornings usually include sports or Scouting events; otherwise that would work. Today, it's volleyball and then a Cub Scout gathering.
I don't mind doing the heavy cleaning during the week if the kids will pick up after themselves. I agree that a room clean-out is probably in order. My kids' rooms collect all sorts of papers, broken toys, outgrown clothes, and detritus. Every month or so we sit down on a Sunday afternoon with a trash bin and box for making donations. They don't necessarily like it, but it really helps to keep the chaos to a minimum.
Now that my daughter is in college, I actually really miss those Saturday mornings ... the same Saturday mornings that I used to dread on occasion. They go by so fast.
My sister does a wicked Friday night all-hands-on program. For about two hours after she gets home from work she turns into a sargeant of housework, and makes everyone spend a couple hours cleaning everything. Nobody gets allowance or can go out with friends until the house is spotless. By 7:30 pm or so all her housework is done for the entire week. It's a pretty awesome system for her and her three teenagers. Me doing housework on a Friday night? HA! Nooooo way.
At this point, I really can't imagine missing the chaos of Saturday mornings, especially during swim team season ( I hate getting up at the crack of dawn!). Volleyball is much more tolerable, because the games start at 11:00.
The biggest storage and organization problem we have in our house is books. All of us are incurable autodidacts, and neither one of our kids has enough storage. We brought home three more books last night after an impromptu trip to our town's fabulous independent bookseller (must...stay...away...from...bookstores). Add in the problem of growth spurts, and it's obvious why we can't go more than a couple of months without a major clean-out. It seems as if I just bought them new jeans, but both kids have grown at least an inch over the past months, so we already need to go shopping again. Not to mention the shoes! Argh!
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