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Old 02-04-2010, 05:23 PM
 
75 posts, read 10,176 times
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Default sexually active 14 year old

What do you do when you are told that your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?

To hear her talk, she's waiting until she's out of college but I've been told by someone close to her that she's been having sex with her boyfriend for a few months now. I haven't confronted her because I'm sure she'll lie. I really need advice from parents who have been here before she ends up pregnant.

 
Old 02-04-2010, 05:32 PM
 
Location: The cupboard under the sink
3,574 posts, read 3,646,307 times
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If there's proof, then call the police should be your first step.
You need to send a clear message that it won't be tolerated.

however, bear in mind that, at school, it's "cool" to have sex, so many people will lie about it, I bet if you ask a group of 14-18 year old boys, hardly any of them will admit to being virgins !

I guess it depends who you trust more, her, or your source.

Quote:
Originally Posted by grimalkinskeeper View Post
What do you do when you are told that your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?

To hear her talk, she's waiting until she's out of college but I've been told by someone close to her that she's been having sex with her boyfriend for a few months now. I haven't confronted her because I'm sure she'll lie. I really need advice from parents who have been here before she ends up pregnant.
 
Old 02-04-2010, 05:38 PM
 
Location: Dallas, Texas
1,342 posts, read 883,626 times
Reputation: 2766
Which police? The sex police? Unless she's having sex with someone much older than her, there's nothing the police can do. There needs to be a "come to Jesus" talk with the girl, much tighter supervision since she's only 14, but also clear and correct information and communication about safe sex, birth control, and all those other things. This should come from the parents, and nothing should be too embarrassing to talk about. TALK to this child and give her straight information, compassion and what you expect of her, for her and for her future.
 
Old 02-04-2010, 05:44 PM
 
9,793 posts, read 10,223,282 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
If there's proof, then call the police should be your first step.
What could the police do?
 
Old 02-04-2010, 05:45 PM
 
9,793 posts, read 10,223,282 times
Reputation: 8703
Quote:
Originally Posted by grimalkinskeeper View Post
What do you do when you are told that your 14 year old daughter is sexually active?

To hear her talk, she's waiting until she's out of college but I've been told by someone close to her that she's been having sex with her boyfriend for a few months now. I haven't confronted her because I'm sure she'll lie. I really need advice from parents who have been here before she ends up pregnant.
Is the person who told you a reliable source?

How old is her boyfriend? At 14 it should not be that difficult to make sure that they do not have opportunities to be alone together.
 
Old 02-04-2010, 05:55 PM
 
40,222 posts, read 43,061,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobman View Post
If there's proof, then call the police should be your first step.
The police? You can't be serious!
 
Old 02-04-2010, 06:01 PM
 
40,222 posts, read 43,061,503 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MagnoliaThunder View Post
There needs to be a "come to Jesus" talk with the girl, much tighter supervision since she's only 14, but also clear and correct information and communication about safe sex, birth control, and all those other things.
I second MagnoliaThunder's post!

If you're not religious, exchange the "come to Jesus" talk with the "wait until marriage" talk.

Oh, and I'll add the "what it's like to have children" talk.

And the "he'll dump you in a heartbeat if you get pregnant" talk.

The "safe sex, birth control" talk is a MUST.
 
Old 02-04-2010, 06:03 PM
 
54 posts, read 97,928 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Is the person who told you a reliable source?

How old is her boyfriend? At 14 it should not be that difficult to make sure that they do not have opportunities to be alone together.

That is true. Many of my friends lost their virginity freshman year, 15 years old. I don't think you can completely stop her without being a super controlling mom. Educate her. I've known people younger than her to have had sex.

Thus is the world these days.

Think back to being her age. Or whatever age you where when you lost your virginity. Would you have admitted it to your mom? I wouldn't have!
 
Old 02-04-2010, 06:05 PM
 
5,748 posts, read 6,799,554 times
Reputation: 4356
Time for her first visit to the gynecologist. If you do not feel comfortable discussing sex with your child, call ahead and let the doctor know that you are concerned that your child is sexually active and ask that she discuss birth control and safe practices with your child.
 
Old 02-04-2010, 06:14 PM
 
6,421 posts, read 8,175,581 times
Reputation: 5263
You need to talk to her now, and tell her that you love her no matter what, but she needs to be open and honest with you.
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