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You can go sit in a corner with lifelongmogal, the corner of lonely, abysmal hate for everyone who doesn't see things your way.
read the whole post, be sure you comprehend, BEFORE you comment next time
I read the whole post. I just shortened it for my comment. I am not sure where you get hate from my posts. I don't hate anyone, I just think that if kids are overly noisy in a restaurant the parents should take the kids out. Additionally, if it is the second time someone said something to you, there probably is a problem.
Not always - we never had any extended family around - my parents hired the neighborhood teenagers to watch us.
Do you ever watch the tv show "Mad Men"? This series depicts life in the 60's pretty accurately - you should check it out sometime. Kids were not the center of the family and they didn't rule the roost the way some do now.
Who is talking about kids being the center of the family? This is a completely and entirely different subject all together.
That's what babysitters are for. If you can't afford them, you shouldn't be going out in the first place. Or you can wait until your kids are older, that's what I did.
Sweety, I always only used babysitters. My child has no grandparents. The only grandparent he has (my dad) actually lives on the other side of the country.
This is not the issue at hand, I don't even think past and traditions are relevant to the topic.
Last edited by max's mama; 02-10-2010 at 06:41 PM..
Who is talking about kids being the center of the family? This is a completely and entirely different subject all together.
sigh - it IS the subject we are discussing, can't you see?
Before kids became the center of family life you didn't see them in restaurants like you do these days. Nowadays, people take their kids EVERYWHERE, even to some of the most inappropriate places, like R-rated movies.
Some of us are just saying we prefer to eat out without the little mini-me's around and enjoy an adult environment, but that is getting harder to find over time.
it starts at home i think,,, it depends on how young the children are i think . when my children was 2 through 5 it was hell taking them out and i would get the stares and give them a mean one back... but now there ages 9 to 16 and they know not to act a fool in public , cause of there up bringing.. but i must admit, sometimes i see children saying and doing some things in front of the parents and i scratch my head... but then too some children have serious issues and the parents cant control them but that doesnt mean they should be kept in either...... soooo its a damed if you do or dont situation... frankly if i was doing my best as a parent and i am ,,, i dont give a dam what anyone thinks!
Ill-mannered, all-about-me kids turn into narcissistic, poorly adjusted, self-centered adults.
Parents who send out the message that there are no social boundaries and expectations raise children who have trouble dealing with authority, which means problems in school and later as an employee.
None of us is a perfect parent. All we can do is learn all we can and work at meeting our children's needs to the best of our ability. Part of that includes appropriate discipline, which again - can vary from child to child - even with siblings. Parents who choose to ignore children who act out in public situations are setting the child up for a lifetime of problems with setting boundaries as well as with relationships - cause these kids have difficulty understanding that others have rights that are equally as important as theirs.
Life has a way of teaching kids what parents fail to teach them. Kids who grow up thinking they are the center of the universe will find out they aren't- "the hard way," as in poor performance in school and brushes with the legal system.
Society always suffers when parents think their kids are somehow exempt from "the rules" . . . but the child will suffer, too, and that is the saddest part.
It takes love, patience and consistency to teach children what is socially acceptable behavior. If a child doesn't "know" how to act in public, the child should not be imposed on society until they can learn some self control, or the parent can learn how to parent more effectively.
All kids have meltdowns. It is up to the parent to 1. avoid putting their children in situations which trigger meltdowns and 2. handle such occasions swiftly. After all, a child should not be put in social situations when they are tired, hungry, sick, etc. and in those cases, the parent is the one who needs a reality check - NOT the child.
That means if your child will be irritable or strung out at the time you will be dining out, then you either get a babysitter or you don't dine out. It is irresponsible to do otherwise.
And it also means that if your child has one of those unexpected meltdowns or suddenly turns into a little monster during a social event, YOU LEAVE. This is not hard. It is called "being responsible."
sigh - it IS the subject we are discussing, can't you see?
Before kids became the center of family life you didn't see them in restaurants like you do these days. Nowadays, people take their kids EVERYWHERE, even to some of the most inappropriate places, like R-rated movies.
Some of us are just saying we prefer to eat out without the little mini-me's around and enjoy an adult environment, but that is getting harder to find over time.
Sigh - right backatcha.
And some of us just learned to mind their business and enjoy the company of each other without a small mini-me bothering us.
Seeing kids in the restaurant has nothing to do with kids being the center of attention, it has to do with both parents working, making more money and being able to afford to go out more often.
And what are you talking about "harder to find an all adult environment"? There are restaurants/lounges/bars that don't allow anyone under 18 years old. They are EVERYWHERE. No, honestly, are you serious?
sigh - it IS the subject we are discussing, can't you see?
Before kids became the center of family life you didn't see them in restaurants like you do these days. Nowadays, people take their kids EVERYWHERE, even to some of the most inappropriate places, like R-rated movies.
Some of us are just saying we prefer to eat out without the little mini-me's around and enjoy an adult environment, but that is getting harder to find over time.
I agree!!! My pet peeve is when parents drag their kids along to the dog park (I am a mother and a dog owner and would never dream of bringing my little girl into the middle of a pack of 60lb + strange dogs!!). I'm talking babies & toddlers as well as elem. aged kids. It makes me nervous to see such little kids wandering around large rowdy dogs, especially when I have seen so many fights break out when two dogs don't like each other. The parents are just oblivious to the fact that it's not safe and it's not an appropriate place for little kids. Sorry, still in the ballpark but a bit off topic.
We have only very very rarely taken our daughter (who is almost 5) to a "real" restraunt with us, and the few times we have we made sure she was not being loud, kicking the seat, climbing under the table, ect. If she had not behaved we would have left, but she listened well & stayed quiet & occupied with the coloring sheet provided by the restraunt. When we go to a kid place like McD's, I find it's a good time to practice eating out manners. I do not like going to a nice restraunt and sitting near loud, wild kids. It drives me nuts, and so I would never want to subject someone else to that if my little one was acting the same way.
And some of us just learned to mind their business and enjoy the company of each other without a small mini-me bothering us.
Seeing kids in the restaurant has nothing to do with kids being the center of attention, it has to do with both parents working, making more money and being able to afford to go out more often.
And what are you talking about "harder to find an all adult environment"? There are restaurants/lounges/bars that don't allow anyone under 18 years old. They are EVERYWHERE. No, honestly, are you serious?
It is very difficult, indeed, to be able to "mind one's business" when loud and/or unruly children pollute the atmosphere.
I am supposed to buy ear plugs b/c somebody's kid has decided to be loud and the parents don't tell their kid to save that voice for the outdoors? It's that hard to tell a kid to control himself?
You are right: very often, seeing unruly kids in a restaurant does mean they are from a home where both parents work - and those parents are definitely not making their kids the center of their attention. The problem is - they are totally IGNORING the kid, which has propelled the kid into acting out in public in order to get ANY attention, even negative attention, from all the other people around them.
I sat in a restaurant with parents who allowed a child to run around w/ poop seeping out of his diaper. It stank! But it wasn't bothering the parents! So I guess we were all supposed to just endure it . . . ????
And some of us just learned to mind their business and enjoy the company of each other without a small mini-me bothering us.
Seeing kids in the restaurant has nothing to do with kids being the center of attention, it has to do with both parents working, making more money and being able to afford to go out more often.
And what are you talking about "harder to find an all adult environment"? There are restaurants/lounges/bars that don't allow anyone under 18 years old. They are EVERYWHERE. No, honestly, are you serious?
Yes, I am serious. Parents take their kids anywhere and everywhere these days.
And as I don't drink much or often, going to a bar or lounge does not appeal to me. I did go to a sports bar the other night for a party and was dismayed to see kids running around in there too. (Personally, I don't believe kids should be present when adults are drinking and partying. I never took my kids into those kinds of situations.)
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