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NOEXCUSES > Im the dad not the mom (it dont matter), and i dont actually have much time on my hands, i have 4 sucessful businesses in my hometown, but i do agree with you, and its going to be painful to just sit back and watch him make more mistakes
Apologies.
I still think you spend way too much time with his problems. He seriously needs to figure out how to deal with the outside world without depending so much on you controlling it.
He needs to learn to grow and change from his own mistakes. HE'S 19. If you continue to keep him from standing on his own, he will never learn. Give him a chance to be a man.
Spook > your right on target ,amen !
Mountains > your right also ! unless you have ever had a kid stuck like this, you can't really make a good assessment
If you've never had a naive kid "stuck" in an unhealthy relationship like this yourself you really don't know WHAT you'd do.
I have. A daughter. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was to let her make mistakes on her own and pay the consequences. Talk about 'GROWING PAINS'. She went through, no, WE went through plenty. Now she's happily married with two kids, they own their own house and doing quite well.
I have. A daughter. The hardest thing I've ever had to do was to let her make mistakes on her own and pay the consequences. Talk about 'GROWING PAINS'. She went through, no, WE went through plenty. Now she's happily married with two kids, they own their own house and doing quite well.
She earned it all on her own, her way.
So you HAVEN'T had a son ever manipulated by a crazy girl who has managed to get her claws into him so deeply that he can't see or think straight?
Well, since you haven't, you are hardly in a position to advise this father.
Girls come with their own "issues", and I'm glad to hear your daughter overcame hers, but you are talking apples and oranges at this point.
Seriously, the common sense aspect of the advice offered, while general in nature, is not gender dependent.
Boys meet girls, fall in LUST, lose their minds, every second of the day, therefore there's hardly anything unique about the question. How it's handled is specific to the situation.
Unless there's something you're aware of that the rest of us didn't read from the OP, the advice is sound.
Let the young man screw up now, learn his lessons along the way, otherwise you end up with George Costanza.
Seriously, the common sense aspect of the advice offered, while general in nature, is not gender dependent.
Boys meet girls, fall in LUST, lose their minds, every second of the day, therefore there's hardly anything unique about the question. How it's handled is specific to the situation.
Unless there's something you're aware of that the rest of us didn't read from the OP, the advice is sound.
Let the young man screw up now, learn his lessons along the way, otherwise you end up with George Costanza.
Again, all I can say is, until you've been in this particular nightmare with a young 18-20 year old guy, you really don't understand how bad something like this is. This is not just your typical "let the kid fall flat on his face and he'll learn" situation. Believe me, I am all for kids learning the consequences of their actions and taking their lumps.
And girls can of course get into other bad situations, but they are not the same as something like this. THIS can have far reaching inplications for the rest of his life. His whole future can be ruinned or derailed, he could find himself arrested just because she is vindictive enough to claim he hit her or something, among other things...the problems are endless and scary, as girls like this are also violent and sometimes don't hesitate to have other guy friends jump a kid like this if he doesn't behave the way she thinks he should.
When a kid is in over his head a caring parent won't just drop him like a hot potato and tell him to "grow up" There is too much at stake when you are dealing with crazy young women like this one. RC's son needs backup, support, encouragement, and I think even therapy to break the obsessive hold he's stuck in, until his maturity level increases and he can finally see/understand what is going on for himself.
You wouldn't put a kid in race car and tell him to run the Daytona 500 just because he's had drivers ed would you? This kid may be old enough to drive (and make his own choices), but that doesn't mean he's ready to handle someone like this girl on his own. And if all he was risking was a broken heart, I'd say, let him go...but I understand RC's concern that this kid is in WAY over his head.
Mountains > your amazing, its like you know exactly the situation, and i think but not sure , that your the only one thats chimed in here, thats been down the same road as my family , yes i had forgot about one night, she had attacked my son verbally at a concert for teens calling him a ****** ect... in front of his peers , well he called her every name in the book too i was told, then she had 4 or 5 guys out looking to do him in, i liked the race car example, since i used to drag race it made alot of since , see my son has always developed a little slow, always needed tutoring and help in school, nothing has came easy to him,
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Apologies.
There is too much at stake when you are dealing with crazy young women like this one. RC's son needs backup, support, encouragement, and I think even therapy to break the obsessive hold he's stuck in, until his maturity level increases and he can finally see/understand what is going on for himself. 
