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They all vary in range. My four-year-old can write her numbers very well, is sounding out words, and doing multi-digit math, but writes her name as a B with a bunch of scribbles. She's very proud of those scribbles, but they are unrecognizable as any letters, yet. I've no concern at all that she will master them within the next year. It's not her focus at this moment.
For what it's worth, our kids go to Montessori, and we are very fond of teaching by following the child.
I volunteer in my daughter's class every week and the differences in academic levels (she is in 1st grade but I volunteered in her class when she was in Kindergarten too) is amazing. The kids range in age from 5-7 and some are writing with beautiful handwriting and correct spacing and some cannot even stay on the writing lines or write their letters in the right direction. In Kindergarten, some knew how to spell their names, knew what their address and phone number were and were reading very well from the beginning. Other kids could barely tie their shoes, thought their mom's name was "Mom" and when asked where they lived, they would say "Colorado" or "over there".
I would just say to you that, as with everything, your child is going to excel at some stuff and struggle with others. It's one thing not to have "nice" handwriting, it's another to not know what the letters are.
At age 4, he should know what the letters are and at least make an attempt to write them. Not all of them will be perfect, perhaps others won't look at all like they should. There are adults I know with terrible handwriting and after looking through these threads, some who can't spell to save their lives and others who don't know the difference between there, their and they're.
I wouldn't put too much stock in writing his name at age 4 unless you see something that may be standing in his way (dyslexia, ADD, etc). If he's just wanting to color instead of write or if he is overwhelmed by the length of his name, I wouldn't rush him off to a testing facility.
While it's so tempting to compare kids, just keep in mind that if your friend's child is writing beautifully at age 4, they are probably struggling with something else. My daughter's best friend is well above her grade level (1st grade) academically. She writes beautifully, she draws wonderful pictures, she reads at 3rd grade level, she is never in trouble for talking out of turn or not focusing, etc. I met her mom a few months ago and mentioned how smart her daughter is. She laughed and said they were worried when she was young because she didn't get fully potty trained until she was 5! Raising kids is a struggle for everyone.
Yesterday at Chick-Fil-A I saw a mom drill her toddler the numbers 1-10. She couldn't get a drink of juice until she did it. I was shocked. This kid looks like she was about 18 months. I can't imagine how she will treat her when she is 4.
It's because parents think that their kids successes reflect directly on them. If their child is reading at 5th grade level at age 5, then surely the fact that they work 80 hours per week isn't affecting THEIR wonderful, perfect child at all. Or if their child is the star quarterback, then their decision to stay at home with them is the sole reason for their success. If their kid is "cool" then they are "cool."
Perhaps it's because I'm a slightly older mom (I'm 37 with a 7 year old and a 2 year old) but I have found I am so much more calm about how my children are doing. I control the things I have control of (their manners, for example) and we work on the rest.
It's because parents think that their kids successes reflect directly on them.
Could be this, partially.
And it could also be something else: that they are all subconsciously scared by the insane global competition over scarce jobs out there.
Did you know the Asians place their 3 months old babies in "leadership nurseries"?? Sicko, sicko, I know.
This is what we've become in the name of progress.
All of us without family wealth to fall back on are, in one way or another, concerned about our children's future bread.
I know I am. The moment I hit the lottery, I can promise you, in all honesty, that I will no longer give a rat's a** about my child not keeping up with his classmates' "technical skills".
Would I still raise him to be an educated, well-rounded
wealthy adult? Heck, yes. But on my terms, not on the market's !!
In the meantime, until they hit the lottery, moms like myself will continue to live their insecure, fearful moments. And chances are, when no one's looking, they will do some drills - all while singing the PC song to everyone else, which is that "children are all different, they all advance at their own pace, just leave them alone".
"Maybe, maybe all others WILL leave them alone, while mine will get an extra inch ahead of the game. "
Again, thank you for all the well-meaning replies. This is how it should be. And this is how, sadly, IT IS NOT.
Your son is only in preschool and you're worrying about what people will think if your son goes to state college.
As an aside, I graduated from a high school in a fairly wealthy district, and at least a third of us went directly on to the local state university. I'd guess that at least 5-10% more of our graduating class had joined us by the end of freshman year.
Not to mention you most likely didn't graduate with $50K+ in student loans like some of my daughter's friends who are so proud to *not* be attending state universities (even though both of our major state uni's here are very good)...
And it could also be something else: that they are all subconsciously scared by the insane global competition over scarce jobs out there.
Did you know the Asians place their 3 months old babies in "leadership nurseries"?? Sicko, sicko, I know.
This is what we've become in the name of progress.
All of us without family wealth to fall back on are, in one way or another, concerned about our children's future bread.
I know I am. The moment I hit the lottery, I can promise you, in all honesty, that I will no longer give a rat's a** about my child not keeping up with his classmates' "technical skills".
Would I still raise him to be an educated, well-rounded
wealthy adult? Heck, yes. But on my terms, not on the market's !!
In the meantime, until they hit the lottery, moms like myself will continue to live their insecure, fearful moments. And chances are, when no one's looking, they will do some drills - all while singing the PC song to everyone else, which is that "children are all different, they all advance at their own pace, just leave them alone".
"Maybe, maybe all others WILL leave them alone, while mine will get an extra inch ahead of the game. "
Again, thank you for all the well-meaning replies. This is how it should be. And this is how, sadly, IT IS NOT.
You need to relax. Seriously. It is not like that unless you let it be. There are over the top parents. Always have been, always will be. Even in other countries...Your child is FOUR. His marketable skills are not something you need to be concerned with right now. Not only that, the market and skills WILL CHANGE in the next 20 years. If you keep this up, you will only be putting unneeded stress on yourself and your child.
All the pushing and fussing is NOT what makes your child excel.
My oldest is the model child. He will be 16 Sunday. He plays 3 sports, gets straight As in AP/honors classes, and has been named to various leadership positions in his school.
Yet-he went to a developmental preschool, where they learned through play. He did not write his name at age 4. He did not read until he was in 1st grade. He does only non academic activities outside of school. He watches tv and he plays video games. I also worked when he was little.
Giving your child the confidence to be successful does NOT come from harassing him over writing his name at age 4. The kids who entered K reading are NOT the kids who are in the top academic group in high school, which is what counts, not preschool. Those kids learned to HATE school, HATE learning, and they are typically just doing enough to get by.
Not to mention you most likely didn't graduate with $50K+ in student loans like some of my daughter's friends who are so proud to *not* be attending state universities (even though both of our major state uni's here are very good)...
I went to a private, all girls parachiol high school and attending a state university, let alone something like West Point or Annapolis, was so looked down on. Community college? Omg, the horror!!! Funny enough, I hated the small private college I went to that in my junior year I transferred to Ohio State..let me say culture shock in a good way.
It almost seems like the tide is turning a little as many realize letting a child leave a 4yr private college w/ $50, $70, even $90k in debt at 22 is not the smartest move; let alone the 15 times they will change their life goals b/w then and 30....
Our babysitter has no issues w/ the community college & that she doesn't want to be paying off debt for 30 years. It's refreshing to hear. The college is $89/credit hour. The private colleges in the area average over $400. Bio 101 is Bio 101 no matter where you take it. I think if the child has the confidence to stay at home & still feel they are growing up & have some freedoms, the state & community colleges are a great deal.
(Haven't read many of the other postsb/c it is such a subjective topic at 4yrs of age; so hopefully not veering too off track.)
While it's so tempting to compare kids, just keep in mind that if your friend's child is writing beautifully at age 4, they are probably struggling with something else. My daughter's best friend is well above her grade level (1st grade) academically. She writes beautifully, she draws wonderful pictures, she reads at 3rd grade level, she is never in trouble for talking out of turn or not focusing, etc. I met her mom a few months ago and mentioned how smart her daughter is. She laughed and said they were worried when she was young because she didn't get fully potty trained until she was 5! Raising kids is a struggle for everyone.
I also have a friend whose second child was extremely advanced and reading fluently in preschool. She was wearing diapers at night well into kindergarten. Every child progresses at his own pace.
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