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Old 11-13-2007, 07:14 PM
 
335 posts, read 1,092,243 times
Reputation: 239

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Have dad using his "dad" voice tell him it in not acceptable, in no uncertain terms. I have 5 sons and when I put in my dad voice they know I mean business. You will not talk to your mother, my wife , with that tone young man....ever...do you understand me??? Look at me. I mean it. It is unacceptable. Now apologize to your mother.


Works EVERYTIME

I think they get offended. I am not talking about screaming, but a stern...this does not work around here and never will ...lecture seems to work. Keep it short and nver let em see you smile when you do it. It is hard not too when you see the offense in there eyes, but it is effective and non threatening

Taking things away never worked as boys are very inventive and can play with anything and be happy, I mean a stick, a pillow, a peice of lint...it does not matter to my kids if I withdraw fun toys, they just make their own!!!

Good luck
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:22 PM
 
4,948 posts, read 16,048,429 times
Reputation: 2855
what if you get a chart-gold, silver, green, and red stars. It goes to the point system.

5 you in a week get gold, 4 silver, 3 green, then red-takes away 5 points. You earn them, by saying please, thank-you, etc. to reedem them it may take so many, for a treasure. as to save money for! You may earn, some in a week, then also, they be taken
back, as at work vacation days etc. You need it to be fun. However, work, is not fun. 5 bad manners takes away from the income earned.
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:29 PM
 
4,948 posts, read 16,048,429 times
Reputation: 2855
they also do need to chart how, they earn stars, which only get posted on a Saturday.

They, also, need to learn why, a red star takes gold away. If it is fun, maybe gold will win. And put down why a gold star is lost. no points for 2-striving for green etc. Not you, they do need to learn this.
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Old 11-13-2007, 07:30 PM
 
261 posts, read 857,930 times
Reputation: 114
I asked my son to come over to see me for a minute, he yelled out "No". I very sternly told him that I did not appreciate the tone that he used when he spoke and that I didn't like being spoken to like that. I told him that it hurt my feelings. He immediately came over to me, hugged me and said he was sorry for speaking to me that way and said he wouldn't do it again.

I was so surprised to hear that from him! Maybe there is hope!
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Old 11-14-2007, 11:54 AM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,155,849 times
Reputation: 49735
One of the things I picked up from one of my s-i-ls was when my son would tell me he wanted something and used his smart mouth voice(this is the term we came up with)
I would say to him...are you asking me or telling me? He made the mistake of saying 'telling you" a couple of time...I would come back at him and say, Then I suggest you ask me nicely instead of telling me.

He learned quickly that if he wanted something he had to ask nicely.

I can't say I had many problems with either my son or my step-son. I caught it early. I just wouldn't allow them to talk to me like that.
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Old 11-14-2007, 03:25 PM
 
261 posts, read 857,930 times
Reputation: 114
We're having better days lately with our son. He's happier doesn't argue and even climbs up in our laps to watch a movie. He has a loose tooth and it was bothering him today, so he got to eat ice cream for a snack before supper tonight. Poor thing!
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Old 03-11-2010, 04:07 AM
 
1 posts, read 2,070 times
Reputation: 10
IGNORE the bad behaviour? Then you are just teaching the child that he can get away with it, and he will, "turn up the heat", go to the next level, and do something a lot worse the next time! You must "nip it in the bud" firmly but fairly, and show the child limits, boundaries, and that bad behaviour is not condoned by being "ignored"!
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn New York
15,229 posts, read 23,749,578 times
Reputation: 19847
When I was 5 years old, i told my mother to "shut up" she said I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap, went to the kitchen sink, got the bar of ivory soap and out it into my mouth, at the time it seemed like the whole bar, but I'm sure it wasnt.
I am now older than dirt, I have never ever ever again ever told my mother to shut up.

Just give the kid a good smack in the mouth and tell him no to talk back to you again. Really, parents these days are so afraid of repremanding a child, it is almost sickening.
I see so many bad behaved children these days and it isn't their fault, it's the parents fault for not correcting it.
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Old 03-16-2010, 08:55 PM
 
67 posts, read 71,316 times
Reputation: 47
Quote:
Originally Posted by nightcrawler View Post
When I was 5 years old, i told my mother to "shut up" she said I'm gonna wash your mouth out with soap, went to the kitchen sink, got the bar of ivory soap and out it into my mouth, at the time it seemed like the whole bar, but I'm sure it wasnt.
I am now older than dirt, I have never ever ever again ever told my mother to shut up.

Just give the kid a good smack in the mouth and tell him no to talk back to you again. Really, parents these days are so afraid of repremanding a child, it is almost sickening.
I see so many bad behaved children these days and it isn't their fault, it's the parents fault for not correcting it.
Oh my gosh I agree with this SO much! Parents today are so worried they're gonna hurt their kids feelings when they don't realize they are total brats. My daughter once told my dh to "back off, I'm not retarted like you are" while he was trying to explain something to her.. I dragged her to the sink and made her hold some dove soap in her mouth for a couple of minutes.. problem solved. She never spoke to my husband or I in that tone again. My kids know that ANY unacceptable questioning of my husband or me will result in discipline (very bad attitudes get them soap or vinegar in the mouthand if they're just being sassy they lose a priviledge). Your kids not gonna die from a few licks of soap, nor are they going to die from a whack on the rear end (I never hesitate to threaten with the wooden spoon.. Works like a charm every time) or not being able to play COD for a couple of days ( or in the OPs kids case, not being able to watch Disney Channel or something). Some parents may say I'm ''damaging'' my kids, but I've been told dozens of times how happy, well-adjusted and respectful they are.
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Old 03-16-2010, 09:25 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,936,926 times
Reputation: 2164
You can't "damage" your kids by loving them. Dicipline works when it's a spank. It doesn't work when it's all talk and no action.
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