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Old 05-30-2007, 08:03 AM
 
Location: Cornelius
2,314 posts, read 1,999,447 times
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I'm looking for ideas to get my 5 year old to stop talking back.... as much. We are told he is a little angel for Grandparents and such but when he is home with us he just turns wild.

We make a point to give him attention as we also have 17month. Is it just a phase? We have "grounded" him etc and it works for that day but then it starts back up. It is getting to the point where we are at our wits end.

Not looking for a lecture just some creative discipline tips.

Thanks,
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Old 05-30-2007, 08:49 AM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 19,647,093 times
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I am not sure how you ground a 5 year old, but have you tried taking away a favorite toy or not letting him watch a favorite tv show?
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Old 05-30-2007, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Cornelius
2,314 posts, read 1,999,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SXMGirl View Post
I am not sure how you ground a 5 year old, but have you tried taking away a favorite toy or not letting him watch a favorite tv show?
Yeah that's what we tell him grounded is. No playing in the yard or cartoons Sat. Morning etc.
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Old 05-30-2007, 09:21 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,841,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CharlotteAgent View Post
I'm looking for ideas to get my 5 year old to stop talking back.... as much. We are told he is a little angel for Grandparents and such but when he is home with us he just turns wild.

We make a point to give him attention as we also have 17month. Is it just a phase? We have "grounded" him etc and it works for that day but then it starts back up. It is getting to the point where we are at our wits end.

Not looking for a lecture just some creative discipline tips.

Thanks,
Ok I'm the mother of a wild 5 year old boy too...so I may actually be able to assist here, or maybe learn something from you. Can you post examples of the behavior you are referring to as unwanted. Talking back can sometimes be rude or sometimes just be their way of trying to get their point accross because they don't understand what you are telling them. Examples would help in the answer I may have.
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Old 05-30-2007, 11:01 AM
 
4,963 posts, read 3,925,200 times
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We have a 7 & 8 year old. Everytime he is fresh, I would say ; can you repeat what you need to say in a different way. If he is fresh today, you cant hold his punishment until Sat ; you need to punish him right then and there and follow thru on it immediately ; like, no dessert,if he has a friend over, send the friend home, Take toys away, maybe take special time away.

For a little advice, it needs to be handled with now otherwise when the wee one grows up, he/she will follow suit.
Sorry
dorothy
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Old 05-30-2007, 12:05 PM
 
3,077 posts, read 4,992,352 times
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Default Sound advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by okaydorothy View Post
We have a 7 & 8 year old. Everytime he is fresh, I would say ; can you repeat what you need to say in a different way. If he is fresh today, you cant hold his punishment until Sat ; you need to punish him right then and there and follow thru on it immediately ; like, no dessert,if he has a friend over, send the friend home, Take toys away, maybe take special time away.

For a little advice, it needs to be handled with now otherwise when the wee one grows up, he/she will follow suit.
Sorry
dorothy
You need to punish your child in the moment and do so calmly and firmly. Years ago when my oldest was in first grade the school counselor loaned us a video teaching the 1-2-3 Method in which the parent remains calm and maintains control. We've used some variation of that technique ever since.

I would also recommend that the punishment be simple and manageable (e.g. five minute time out, loss of dessert etc.).

On the flip side I'd also recommend a behavior modification program in which good behavior is monitored and rewarded. The combination of maintaining control and reinforcing good behaviors is quite powerful.

The most important thing you need to understand is that this is quite normal and you should be commended for looking to others for advice.

Best of luck.
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Old 05-30-2007, 01:10 PM
 
Location: NW Atlanta
1,372 posts, read 4,756,548 times
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This is such a touchy situation (I have an 8 yr old)

What you need to do is let him know he is hurting your feelings
when he talks lippy to you
tell him you aren't going to answer hos questions or talk to him until he decides to be nice to you
AND STICK TO IT
turn your back on him when he does it

Kids hate to be ignored
about 10 times of this (which is probably about 2 days worth)
he will get the picture

kids love to be loved by their parents
if he thinks that you are displeased with him...
ignoring him will do way more than no X-box

here are some practice lines

"Oh I just really can't talk to you when you're
being this ugly"

"wow I didn't know you could be so mean to me"

"why are you yelling, it hurts my ears I will listen to you when you talk quietly"

"Ya know what??? when you talk nicely to me...we can discuss this..."

I hope these help
it worked for me
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Old 05-30-2007, 01:14 PM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,841,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dncngrl1964 View Post
kids love to be loved by their parents
if he thinks that you are displeased with him...
ignoring him will do way more than no X-box
Yoda master, how do I get mine to be this way, he seems incredibly unaffected by my displeasure and at times seems to take pleasure in displeasing me. *sigh*
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Old 05-30-2007, 01:18 PM
 
4,963 posts, read 3,925,200 times
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Irishmom
remember any attention even if it is bad attention is better than none. I agree with telling him that he is hurting your feelings. Comments like that hit home a lot with my two. Now I dont ride that comment at all.

dorothy

p.s. please remember to praise the good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour ; of course unless it is horrible,
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Old 05-30-2007, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,841,602 times
Reputation: 1650
Quote:
Originally Posted by okaydorothy View Post
Irishmom
remember any attention even if it is bad attention is better than none. I agree with telling him that he is hurting your feelings. Comments like that hit home a lot with my two. Now I dont ride that comment at all.

dorothy

p.s. please remember to praise the good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour ; of course unless it is horrible,
Oh I know that, but I have to say this one is especially stubborn. His talking back in not rude in content, just in manner. This is why I asked for examples of what the behavior the OP was talking about, I believe there is a difference between the two. Not to say mine hasn't picked up a word or phrase the I find offensive and tried it out, but that for him is easily corrected. The angry or frustrated talk is not for some reason, no matter what approach I take. I need to come up with a new bag of tricks for him. My oldest was so eager to please and still is that discipline, although adjusted by his age, was relatively easy. My 5 year old is in a world of his own it seems, and he is most definitely the center of that world.
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