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I have three children ages 10, 8 and 3 weeks. I've always picked them up when they cried.
My newborn is a bit fussier than her older sisters. She's up pretty much hourly to nurse at night. I've been picking her when she cries and bringing her into my bed to nurse so I can get some rest at the same time.
My older children began sleeping through the night at ages 6 weeks and 4 months. I think that the fact that I always picked them up when they cried helped them to relax enough to sleep through the night earlier than most babies.
As my children got to be toddlers I would typically go to their rooms if they cried and help them to settle back to sleep rather than taking them out of bed and bringing them to our room.
Different techniques work for different kids/parents but I think it's cruel to allow babies to cry for extended periods of time.
I always instantly respond to the cries of a newborn, because I feel it builds a trusting, placid, child when they feel secure that their needs will be met. As the baby gets older, there are times when you know for sure that all it's needs have been met...it's not hungry, wet or doesn't need to burb, etc. Then I will let him cry it out for a little while.
A toddler, however will play you like a harp if it thinks it will succeed in getting it's way, so then you need to be a lot firmer, but by then you know the child well enough that you will know when it's just being demanding.
This sounds like our approach. No letting them "cry it out" for the first 9 months, at least. Now my twins are 21 months and I don't jump every time they cry. They rarely cry at night now - only if something is truly wrong, like last night when one of them was a little sick from a cold. They cry now and then during play because one of them makes the other one mad. If no physical harm is being done, I don't run to the one crying and 9 times out of ten, he quits crying and they work it out on their own.
It depends on the age of the child and situation. However, setting some boundaries with the infant early on is important. You don't want to have the infant forever attached to your arm. Letting the baby cry for a few minutes is not cruel. it's good for the child and for your sanity.
My child is 3 weeks old. My husband and I are trying to decide on our strategy for the upcoming months.
Your "child" is actually an infant - you won't have to face this question for many months. Infants ALWAYS get picked up and attended to, it's how they learn to trust you as their caregiver.
^^^ This. I did it with all 5 of my children. If they were hungry, I fed them. If they were wet, I dried them. If they were dirty, I cleaned them. If they just needed some loving, I loved on them.
It is such a change for them. They spend 9 months in our warm, cozy body. I believe they miss the closeness.
I know it can seem like all you're doing is feeding, changing and comforting your infant. Mine nursed every hour to 1 1/2 hours for almost the first month. A 2-3 hour stretch was HEAVEN!!
I would do it all over again, only this time I would take THOUSANDS of photos, instead of hundreds. I would take videos of them DAILY. Those days are gone before you know it.
^^^ This. I did it with all 5 of my children. If they were hungry, I fed them. If they were wet, I dried them. If they were dirty, I cleaned them. If they just needed some loving, I loved on them.
It is such a change for them. They spend 9 months in our warm, cozy body. I believe they miss the closeness.
I know it can seem like all you're doing is feeding, changing and comforting your infant. Mine nursed every hour to 1 1/2 hours for almost the first month. A 2-3 hour stretch was HEAVEN!!
I would do it all over again, only this time I would take THOUSANDS of photos, instead of hundreds. I would take videos of them DAILY. Those days are gone before you know it.
I believe in "9 months in, 9 months on", ie you carry a child and/ or pick them up when they cry for at least the first 9 months after birth, because young babies like that have no concept of self-soothing, they will just cry until exhausted, and what ind of "self-soothing" is that??? Once they are around a year old, they start to understand what you want from them in terms of going to sleep etc.
My child is 3 weeks old. My husband and I are trying to decide on our strategy for the upcoming months.
I would worry about right now, not the coming months.
A newborn is far different than an infant which is far different than a toddler.
At this stage, every few days is a new beginning.
As for a strategy, I'd throw that out the window the first few months. Not practical and you are going to end up being a wreck. Several months from now it would be more pratical.
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