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I agree with what Dragonfly said 100%. You need to meet your baby's needs. That's your job as parents. Also, remember that you can't spoil an infant and crying is in no way any kind of misbehavior that needs to be ignored. Crying is virtually the only way your baby has to communicate at this point.
I always picked up my baby when she cried. The way I see it, we're building a bond for life and I want her to know that whenever she needs me, I'll be there for her. That said, my dd was only content in my arms (until she could sit on her own, around 6 months old) so I invested in some good baby carriers so that I could hold her while I had my hands free to do other things around the house and while out and about.
I personally feel that learning how to self soothe will come with time and I don't see any reason to rush things. Listen to your intuition and you will know what is right for your baby, yourself and your family.
As with so many others who have already responded, I made my choice based on instincts. Sometimes, I felt it was appropriate to pick my children up, and sometimes I let them cry it out. When they were newborns and infants, I probably fell into the "pick up" crowd. As the grew older, I gradually gave them room to deal with frustrations on their own.
I let my two-year-old son self-soothe whenever he starts crying. Holding him whenever he starts to cry is just furthering his outbursts and temper tantrums. He'll stop crying after a while and be okay. When he was an infant i would self-soothe as well if he was crying and I had just fed/changed/etc.
I also pick mine up, particularly when under a year old. Some people believe that their babies stop crying because they have learned to "self-soothe", but I believe they just stop crying just because they are defeated, and that is not something I want my babies to feel. I want them to feel that they can trust me to meet their needs. I also feel that my job, as the parent, is to do just that. Babies are not designed to be independent, and it is not something I try to push on them before they are old enough to discover it themselves.
Crying is virtually the only way your baby has to communicate at this point.
Exactly. I always interpreted crying as talking. I went to see what they wanted. As toddlers the issue sometimes is frustration so there isn't much you can do.
My child is 3 weeks old. My husband and I are trying to decide on our strategy for the upcoming months.
When my newborn was fussy, a nurse told me, "he's testing you to make sure you really love him". Sometimes new parents get unsure of what they should do. If you're baby is colicky, you may need to walk the floor for hours with the baby screaming. Just keep calm and remember how helpless he is and don't think you're doing anything wrong.
I also pick mine up, particularly when under a year old. Some people believe that their babies stop crying because they have learned to "self-soothe", but I believe they just stop crying just because they are defeated, and that is not something I want my babies to feel. I want them to feel that they can trust me to meet their needs. I also feel that my job, as the parent, is to do just that. Babies are not designed to be independent, and it is not something I try to push on them before they are old enough to discover it themselves.
I think it's about mutual respect, too. I always tried to respond to my babies' needs when crying was the only way they had of communicating. I mean I acknowledged that they needed something, and I think they grew up to be respectful of others.
When my newborn was fussy, a nurse told me, "he's testing you to make sure you really love him". Sometimes new parents get unsure of what they should do. If you're baby is colicky, you may need to walk the floor for hours with the baby screaming. Just keep calm and remember how helpless he is and don't think you're doing anything wrong.
A newborn does not have the capacity to test you.
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I couldn't get enough of her. Sorry if it sounds mushy, but that's the way it was.
