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Old 02-20-2010, 09:11 PM
 
3 posts, read 4,479 times
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my 21 yr old son has just got out of prison , yes prison not jail, we were so close all while he was in there and now things are rapidly going back to the volitile relationship we had before he went in. i dont know what to do to get our relationship back on track, everything i talk to him about he dislikes or tells me how stupid i am for even thinking that way or tell me why do you even bother me with that crap ,its all attitude. I know I was all he really had while he was in there and he needed me but could he really be that selfish that now he no longer needs me ?

Last edited by 2goldens; 02-21-2010 at 03:52 AM.. Reason: Moved from Other Topics
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Old 02-20-2010, 09:55 PM
 
Location: South Central Texas
114,056 posts, read 52,540,834 times
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Probably ...that's maybe partly why he was in prison. Maybe it's time to show him you don't need him or the problems he represents!
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Old 02-20-2010, 11:02 PM
 
Location: planet octupulous is nearing earths atmosphere
13,624 posts, read 10,741,617 times
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i think it's time to give him the boot!!!!!
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Old 02-21-2010, 01:32 AM
 
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I hope you're not letting him live with you. If you are, that's part of the problem.

Your son needs to learn to take care of himself, which is something he didn't have to do in prison. Taking him in and providing him with food and shelter won't teach him humility nor allow him to realize the pride of being able to do things for himself.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:23 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
1,677 posts, read 3,625,952 times
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You had a volatile relationship before he went in and now it's going back to the same thing.
Well; what prison was he at, how long was he in, what for, does he have a job, are you the mother, does he call you stupid?
People getting out of prison need support. I commend you for helping him. Is there counselling available for both of you?
He's got to have all kinds of walls built up and that takes time but should not be something this is endured but solved through family management.
You are his parent, use your gut instinct about his sincerity
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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Default yes i'm Mom

He was Joyceville Pen , In Kingston Ont Canada, yes he has a full time job working for our co. his Father , my husband , is his boss, he is in a halfway house across the city, and will be there for 8 months.his charges were 1, aggrevated assult,2x hitting sombody with beer bottles and taking thier stuff, which the charges were armed robbery.
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Old 02-21-2010, 08:35 PM
 
Location: I think my user name clarifies that.
8,293 posts, read 22,534,021 times
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What Cruxan said.

Somewhere, somehow, everyone needs to learn that there are consequences to our bad choices and behavior. The earlier we learn that, the better off everyone is.
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Old 02-22-2010, 10:35 AM
 
2,893 posts, read 5,179,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellababy45 View Post
my 21 yr old son has just got out of prison , yes prison not jail, we were so close all while he was in there and now things are rapidly going back to the volitile relationship we had before he went in. i dont know what to do to get our relationship back on track, everything i talk to him about he dislikes or tells me how stupid i am for even thinking that way or tell me why do you even bother me with that crap ,its all attitude. I know I was all he really had while he was in there and he needed me but could he really be that selfish that now he no longer needs me ?

So, to him, your opinions are wrong, unfounded, and unwelcome, and he is only nice to you when he needs something from you.

In other words, he's using you for selfish gain, not because he wants a meaningful relationship with you. So here is how you talk to him:

"Son, when you're ready for a meaningful relationship with me, I'll be here. Until then, you're on your own. You have my number."
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Old 02-23-2010, 09:18 AM
 
3 posts, read 4,479 times
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Default Sad but true

You are sooo right , and its sad but true and even harder to do.
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Old 02-23-2010, 09:24 AM
 
47,576 posts, read 58,923,592 times
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I think it's time to cut the apron strings. You don't have a healthy relationship. He needs to face the cold hard cruel world on his own for a bit and maybe some day he'll grow to appreciate you but you should never accept abuse -- not verbal and not emotional abuse because you're allowing him to mistreat you.
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