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Old 06-01-2007, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Penobscot Bay, the best place in Maine!
1,891 posts, read 5,146,121 times
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My son has autism and most of the other kids and parents see him as a bully because of his physical aggression when he is himself bullied and teased by said kids. He cannot process frustration very well, doesn't "get" a lot of personal communication mechanisms and often pushes/chokes/hits other kids in response when they (intentionally) frustrate and tease him. So I guess I have a bully that bullies because he is bullied...

(P.S- it's my son that gets in trouble, not the kids that tease him... That makes me sad.)
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Old 06-02-2007, 05:41 AM
 
1,657 posts, read 2,993,984 times
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Usually, not always, the problem starts at home. One or both parents are or older siblings are bullies and the environment is what they are learning from, hence the kid bully !

My son and myself have taken TKD classes for years and it has given him a great deal of confidence and autonomy.

Last edited by tkdmom; 06-02-2007 at 05:55 AM..
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Old 06-02-2007, 05:53 AM
 
1,657 posts, read 2,993,984 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deerislesmile View Post
My son has autism and most of the other kids and parents see him as a bully because of his physical aggression when he is himself bullied and teased by said kids. He cannot process frustration very well, doesn't "get" a lot of personal communication mechanisms and often pushes/chokes/hits other kids in response when they (intentionally) frustrate and tease him. So I guess I have a bully that bullies because he is bullied...

(P.S- it's my son that gets in trouble, not the kids that tease him... That makes me sad.)
Deerislesmile-
I was a private tutor in ABA for awhile and worked with many autistic children. It is very sad the level of frustration they have when they can't articulate their feelings, resulting in physical aggression. Some bullies see this as a weakness and hone in on it. I don't see why your child is getting in trouble when he is being provoked and is reacting the only way he knows how. That is sad !
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Old 06-03-2007, 09:52 PM
 
Location: Penobscot Bay, the best place in Maine!
1,891 posts, read 5,146,121 times
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In most schools today, it doesn't matter who throws first, it's if they throw at all. It would then be a matter of both kids being in trouble, not just the instigator. Zero tolerance and all.
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Old 08-28-2007, 05:00 PM
 
18 posts, read 78,917 times
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My child has Autism and bullying does still exist. In our Lex School District the real bullying began when we began reporting occurrances. When my son's school shadow left bruises and cuts on him and other concerning issues were brought to the attention of District Administrators, the bullying took on new meaning.
Formal complaints with State and Federal Agencies led to findings of compliance violations of ADA and IDEA law. School administrators began adding information to my child's discipline record and the explanation was that of a pre-schooler. Other offenses was placed on your child's discipline record because this is a code that indicates that they are on an IEP. Information provided later would make this one of the more believable stories.
When the district denied services to my child, as requested by a Doctor, the Director of Sepcial Services reported to the OCR that it was my child's fault that they did not provide services. Their previous IEP meeting minutes contradicted these failed attempts to misrepresent information.
Our State Department of Education is aware that our school district is currently paying for my son's counseling to address an IEP goal of "Teach name how to deal with bullying and teasing". While therapy continues, so do efforts by Administrators to justify efforts that offer no possitive educational outcomes but do offer harmful long term damages.
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Old 08-28-2007, 05:29 PM
 
Location: CA
2,464 posts, read 5,685,266 times
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I was also bullied as a kid, relentlessly for years... I was shy and poor... so kids saw that as a weakness I guess and made sure that I knew that I was crap. Then one day I grew tired of it - I decided that I'm not going to start anything but I'm going to finish it. So, from that day forward it way ON. I would give them a chance to walk away but if they kept on... they usually walked away with a face that looked like it was thrown down a flight of stairs. It sounds graphic but... what can I say, I grew up in tough neighborhood and they didn't mess with me again (nor did they even look in my direction).

With that, I believe that kids have a right to defend themselves. If my daughter suffered at the hands of a bully - I would give the school a chance to correct it, I probably would even talk to the parents (maybe even threaten a lawsuit), but if these things don't work, well, I just might have to show my girls my bully squashing moves. It's uncivilized but sometimes we are dealing with kids who can be nasty mean.
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Old 08-28-2007, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Land of Thought and Flow
8,323 posts, read 13,143,178 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mommabear2 View Post
I was also bullied as a kid, relentlessly for years... I was shy and poor... so kids saw that as a weakness I guess and made sure that I knew that I was crap. Then one day I grew tired of it - I decided that I'm not going to start anything but I'm going to finish it. So, from that day forward it way ON. I would give them a chance to walk away but if they kept on... they usually walked away with a face that looked like it was thrown down a flight of stairs. It sounds graphic but... what can I say, I grew up in tough neighborhood and they didn't mess with me again (nor did they even look in my direction).

With that, I believe that kids have a right to defend themselves. If my daughter suffered at the hands of a bully - I would give the school a chance to correct it, I probably would even talk to the parents (maybe even threaten a lawsuit), but if these things don't work, well, I just might have to show my girls my bully squashing moves. It's uncivilized but sometimes we are dealing with kids who can be nasty mean.

I dealt with the same type of relentless bullying. My father contacted the school because my glasses were being broken by students and it was completely unacceptable. Since the school did nothing about it, his friend (a martial arts teacher) taught me a few things. Next day, the bullies started... I knocked one out with my backpack and knocked the other one's face into a water fountain.

I was suspended for two days.

But, thing is, if your child is truly being bullied physically and getting hurt. Try talking with the administration and PTA. If all else fails, teach the kid how to fight back.

As for the person who's kid has autism. I've seen, personally, the kind of damage that bullies do to these kids. At my old High School, seven kids ganged up on 2 down syndrome kids. Both had to be hospitalized for their injuries. This brutal treatment by peers is why some parents prefer their kid to be home schooled.
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Old 08-29-2007, 08:58 AM
 
Location: Eastern PA
1,263 posts, read 4,284,220 times
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My son has Asperger's, so he is always a target for bullying. I am very fortunate that we are able to send him to a small nondenominational Christian school. They are truly proactive about bullying. We've only had one serious incident in 8 years there - a boy shoved my son in the hall and ended up ripping his shirt. This was taken care of promptly and that boy's parents even went out that very day and bought my son a replacement shirt.

I just found a book about this and I'm going to order it, as I know my son will eventually be bullied in the community even though his school is such a safe haven:
Perfect Targets: Asperger Syndrome and Bullying - Practical Solutions for Surviving the Social World (http://www.nprinc.com/autism/peta.htm - broken link)
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Old 08-29-2007, 09:07 AM
 
8,306 posts, read 3,195,529 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimbo123 View Post
I Enrolled my son in a Karate class. It taugh him self control, self discipline, and most important of all it taught him how to deal with bullies. After a year in Karate he was more confident in himself which made him less vulnerable to a bully.
Hey Kimbo, I have been thinking of enrolling my little one into Karate or Tae Kwon Do or something similar. He is 3 and a half yrs old. Is this the right age for him to start ? Someone told me it is better to wait for another year or two so that he will be physically ready to handle the pressure better. What age did your son start Karate ? And do you have any tips for me as to what I should look for in a Karate instructor ?? Thanks !
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Old 08-29-2007, 10:37 AM
 
146 posts, read 652,981 times
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I think the bullying in schools today is more emotional (mental) than physical, especially among girls. Most schools are making a real effort to stop the bullying before it escalates into serious violence.

In Arizona, schools have zero tolerance for bullying. Below is a link that outlines the program...

Get Your ANGRIES Out: Who We Are
I taught my 9 year old son to use some of the techniques to express his anger in appropriate ways, and it really works!

They have also instituted a program called "Character Counts...The Six Pillars Of Good Character"

Character Education Defined
Character education teaches universally-accepted values, such as trustworthiness, respect, responsibility, fairness, caring and citizenship, and motivates youth to incorporate these values into their lives. Character education should be non-partisan and non-religious.
Character Education Home Page

These are great programs, and SO valuable with all the gang activity in schools today.
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