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Hello! I need some other parent's perspectives of this. My son is a very young kindergartener. He is 5 and his birthday is in August. So, he is one of the youngest in the class. It's now 7 months into school and he is still crying when I leave and clinging to me. When we are walking to school he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay home with me. Everyday it hurts my heart to leave him there. He is very smart, meets the curriculum, etc. Emotionally and socially, I just don't see that he is mature enough to move on to 1st grade. His teacher, the school councelor, and the principal have all talked to me about this and they ALL think I should move him on to first grade. They all say he would be incredibly bored if I held him back in kinder again. Ultimately, it's my decision, but I am confused as anything on what to do.
So, has anyone held back their very young, kinder son? How was your experience? Do you rec. other parents thinking about this? Any advice on what to do? Thank you for your input.
Oh, please don't put me down about putting him in kinder so young. I've learned my lesson, etc. I'm just looking for support. Thank you.
I wish I held my son back. He is now in 4th grade and very immature. I would talk to the teacher and see her thoughts, she can give you a better perspective.
Have you checked on him at various times of the day, without his knowledge, to see how his day goes?
You're being manipulated if seven months into the school year this is still happening, and holding him back isn't going to change that situation. It sounds to me like he's established a routine that gets him the desired response therefore why change? I would simply ignore the clingy, emotional show and calmly explain to him that he's going to be fine, wish him a fun day with his friends and classmates and leave. Maybe stop by for lunch or recess every few days just to re-assure him you're always around.
Ask the counselor or school psychologist for help with the clingy morning behavior. You can set up reinforcers that would help him enter the school without that behavior; ignoring it is one way, but there are other structured ways to reinforce going to school like a big boy.
Hard to say if holding him back would be the best thing now that he has started. I kept my Aug b/day boy back; he turned 6 2 days after school started. The decision was made easier for me because he was kept in the '2s' room for an extra year at his Mother's Day Out....if that hadn't happened I might be in your shoes today.
If you can get the clingy behavior under control, would you feel better about moving him to first? Does he have social issues during the day - is he more easily upset that the other kinders, does he have friends, does he play well with those friends? Ultimately it is your decision, but it would be difficult to go against the principal/counselor/ and teacher....and the teacher is one of those who would have him for the extra year.
how much younger is he than all the other K's?? he is 5 which is the "correct" age, is it not?
Most kids turn 6 during their K year. This boy will not.
1. My youngest brother started Kindergarten at age 4. The cut off date was Dec. 1 and his birthday is in Oct.. He was clearly not ready and Mother took him out after a few weeks. He laughed about it telling people he quit school. He was more ready the next year.
2. I have a cousin who kept her daughter back in Kindergarten. She ended up being an honors student all the way through school. She was very well adjusted the second year.
3. A long time ago, when my neighbor's daughter started school, she cried all day, every day she was there. I worked at the school so I witnessed her crying. The next year, she went on to first grade and blossomed into a social butterfly. She was fine from then on. She was just very attached to mom and probably figured if she cried long enough, she could stay home.
Hello! I need some other parent's perspectives of this. My son is a very young kindergartener. He is 5 and his birthday is in August. So, he is one of the youngest in the class. It's now 7 months into school and he is still crying when I leave and clinging to me. When we are walking to school he doesn't want to go, he wants to stay home with me. Everyday it hurts my heart to leave him there. He is very smart, meets the curriculum, etc. Emotionally and socially, I just don't see that he is mature enough to move on to 1st grade. His teacher, the school councelor, and the principal have all talked to me about this and they ALL think I should move him on to first grade. They all say he would be incredibly bored if I held him back in kinder again. Ultimately, it's my decision, but I am confused as anything on what to do.
So, has anyone held back their very young, kinder son? How was your experience? Do you rec. other parents thinking about this? Any advice on what to do? Thank you for your input.
Oh, please don't put me down about putting him in kinder so young. I've learned my lesson, etc. I'm just looking for support. Thank you.
It would be the best year to hold him back so if you're going to do it, do it now.
Intellectual ability isn't all it's about, many very intelligent kids are a little behind emotionally, they mature later so if he's young for the grade to begin with, it may be too much.
Older kids have a big advantage. They usually do better in sports and their self-confidence. At age 5, one year makes a huge difference, one year is 20% of their lifetime. How kids start off in school can make a big difference in how well they do overall, socially. Sometimes the young ones end up shy or they are seen as babyish by the other kids and once that label is applied, it's hard to shake it.
It does not sound as if he needs to be kept back. It sounds more like you think keeping in there will somehow allow him to bloom, when it sounds more like he's already bored in there.
We have a few friends whose boys are young first graders...(turned 6 in Aug. Sept. & Oct.) this past year. They're doing fine.
Last edited by bellalunatic; 03-05-2010 at 10:20 AM..
How will keeping him back help the clingy behavior? Unless he is OVERALL immature, to the point that it would impede his academic progress, I don't see holding him back as a reasonable solution. Is he clingy other times as well or just when you drop him off at school? Does he cry when his dad or someone else drops him off at school?
I'd first try to address the behavior. Have the teacher meet you at the door of the school and don't make a big deal about the goodbye. Have someone else drop him at school. Change up the routine a bit. It may just be that the time and place and resulting reaction have become a habit...much like some kids cry at bed time.
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