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This would be great advice for most people, I don't think this will work here. (scroll back - you might have missed it while you were typing your post, but she says she does not love her).
I know she said that...and I'm pretty sure that she means it, too, but she isn't going to get very far seeking help for her family if she makes statements like that. I remember her from previous posts, too, and the tone is always the same. If she has that tone with people who are trying to help her family....she isn't going to get the response she wants.
Hmmmm yes, here it is. I was SURE I saw this in one of the posts! Now your husband works nights? Good luck with your surgery and everything else in your life. I'm sorry.... OH, and you commented on posters who said they wouldn't "put up with behavior like that...and you can't physically do anything about it." Believe me.....unless I was a paraplegic...you can bet I'd do something about it. It might not be legal....but you can bet there'd be some serious consequences, serious enough that their brains would engage....and real quick, too!
Sometimes dh works late, is that so hard to fathom? Also, your reading comprehension needs work, when I said we've been unemployed for 3 years, I didn't mean we're currently unemploiyed. So, now, are we back in good graces with all you good citizens with steady, FT jobs? Or are we still scum of the earth?
BTW, we've paid our bills and kept our credit rating, which is more than can be said for a lot of people. How? By using our savings, which we saved while other were pi$$ing through theirs. Like I said, my dh has worked the last 3 years, just not steady, he's done a series of PT contract jobs, which, in case you don't realize, is about all that's open to white, over-50 men who are top-heavy in experience and credentials. But maybe you wouldn't know about that
For those who want some real insight into OP, you have to go back and find her previous posts under the name marylee54. This one reads just like all the rest.
Your family is extremely dysfunctional, including you. Yes, kids sometimes take a wrong turn in life but unless there has been some kind of trauma (physical or emotional), sweet loving children do wake up suddenly one day having turned into hateful monsters who assault their parents. YOU NEED THERAPY. Your kids need therapy. You all are way beyond simple family counseling....you all probably need to be medicated.
I can't believe the way you post about your kids....you have nicer things to say about your cats. I guess that makes sense because at this rate, unless you make some serious changes in YOUR life all you will have left one day is those cats. I suspect that attitude is something your kids have picked up on over the years....none of this happened over night.
Your kids are spoiled brats and that's YOUR fault. They are old enough now to be demanding what you have given them all these years even though they don't deserve it. Your 12 year old doesn't even know to unwrap cheese before making a grilled cheese sandwich!! She pushes you when you are injured!! You say...
Quote:
90% of what I do for both kids is not required, just done out of the goodness of my heart, but I don't have to
Then STOP!!! No more clubs or sports or cell phones or outings or any of those things that you keep giving without expecting anything in return. You are a DOORMAT and it's not your kid's fault that you have raised them to treat you that way.
Sometimes dh works late, is that so hard to fathom? Also, your reading comprehension needs work, when I said we've been unemployed for 3 years, I didn't mean we're currently unemploiyed. So, now, are we back in good graces with all you good citizens with steady, FT jobs? Or are we still scum of the earth?
BTW, we've paid our bills and kept our credit rating, which is more than can be said for a lot of people. How? By using our savings, which we saved while other were pi$$ing through theirs. Like I said, my dh has worked the last 3 years, just not steady, he's done a series of PT contract jobs, which, in case you don't realize, is about all that's open to white, over-50 men who are top-heavy in experience and credentials. But maybe you wouldn't know about that
So which is it...does he work late or are you divorced or does he work out of town and only come home on weekends? You've posted all of those explanations as to why he is always out of the picture.
And who the heck cares about your credit rating when your family is falling apart?? How sad.
Ummm....lets get back to the original post she said "if I were a better mother I wouldn't have fallen and hurt my back, tus inconveniencing everyone". Just how does an accidental fall corralate with being a bad mother?
Guess I should be apoli\gizing to her for falling, after all, look what its done to her, she will mis about 2-3 days of school, of, dear, and perhaps be expected to pick up after herself? Glad to know you're all so physically fit you can grapple with a hostile teenager, people with broken backs aren't noted for their physical strength.
When posters say they wouldn't "allow" such behavior, just what am I supposed to do, knock her up the side of the head? I'm not physically capable of "striking back", also, last night she got physically abusive with me, grabbed both arms and tried to throw me to the floor, that in my condition.
I reminded the little princess that abuse of a disabled person is a felony in this state, and would not hesitate to press charges, that was the only reason she let go. she mean and spiteful, both verbally and physically.
I don't know of anything I've done to raise such a child, and even so, I refuse to take responsibility for someone else's plain meaness. To attack a disabled person, mock and taunt her, refuse to offer help, just stand there while I struggled to get laundry off the floor and something to eat and say "that's not my problem", that's just plain unacceptable.
So ok, my physical problems aren't her problem, we will find something that is her problem. She currently doesn't have much to take away, doesn't have a cell phone (lost it), doesn't have TV in her room, just one in the family room, we took away all but basic, doesn't have an allowance, there's the problem----we haven['t provided for her! Poor child! Although we've both been unemployed for 3+ years, we failed to provide her with her just dues. She just sits there while a cleaning crew cleans around her, I pay about $300/month for, because I'm not capable of heavy housework and she flat out refuses. She won't even bend over to feed the cats, we finally got a large cat feeded my dh fills up about 1x/week.
You know, we can talk all we want about phases, teen growing pains, etc, but it boils down to there's no excuse for being plain mean. And she calls CPS all the time with ridiculous complaints that are totally unfounded, just to keep things stirred up around here. Next social worker that shows up, I'm going to invite them in, please go through the entire house, go over her life, check out her room, her school records, medical records, please, tell us what is so awful here that necessitates their constant surveillence. Then, please, find her somewhere "better", ie foster care, I'm sure its a bed of roses there!
Excuse me? MY reading comprehension needs work? LOL Read the red words....What do they say? This is your direct quote...no editing, simply what you, yourself wrote. Perhaps it's the pain meds? Properly written, it would say, "Although previously, my husband and I, with the exception of part-time employment....." etc. Of course, LOL....I'm sure it's my comprehension, it couldn't possibly be "your fault", could it!? Why, nothing seems to be your fault, does it. Yeah....I'm out. What a waste of time.
So which is it...does he work late or are you divorced or does he work out of town and only come home on weekends? You've posted all three of those explanations as to why he is always out of the picture.
Ok, he works out of town and only comes home on weekends. I never said we're divorced, I might have said we're seperated, I meant physically. Also, last night he didn't get home until late. There, is that so hard to understand?
I don't understand the turn this thread has taken, that somehow I'm to blame for having a *itcch of a duaghter who can't even pick up her own socks and says I should just "suck it up" with a broken pelvis and in terrible pain. what makes her this way? Oh, I see, the fact that her Dad has been through bouts of unemployment for the past 3 years, but still managed to keep our standard of living intact? Hmmm....I see your point, everyone with a broken back who's suffered recdent unemployment is scum of the earth and should be treated as such, now I get it!
Well, I'm having my back surgery tomorrow, it will inconvenience some people a few days, that's just how it goes, so, SUCK IT UP! WTH does she think I'm doing, having a ball?
Although we've both been unemployed the past 3 years.....doesn't imply current unemployment..........I don't think you get it, besides, what does that have to do with being physically and verbally abusive towards a disabled person with a back injury? Guess I don't deserve any more, after all, I'm just scum.
What many are having a hard time dealing with is that kids can be plain mean, regardless of their parents "style", employment status, etc.
Its hard to fathom a child actually hating their mother, and harder still not to be the one in charge "I'd do thus and so" Oh, so I'm supposed to physically grapple with a kid bigger, taller and stronger than me who's demonstrated she will get violent if she cares to?"
Just what would you say to someone you asked to help you get something to eat (just carry it from the microwave to the table), or pick up luandry she'd knocked over, and she just says that's not my problem? Hmmmm...........I guess YELL AT THEM! Like that does any good, guess it was my fault fo being unemployed for a periiod of time, that puts me at the bottom of the garbage heap, well, if you haven't experienced the current job market, good luck your turn might be just around the corner!
I've decided to just take the path of least resistance with her, do what I legally have to and nothing more. She can "suck it up". What a rotten thing to say to someone suffering extreme pain, seeking relief, being told to suck it up, your pain is not my problem, I won't help you so much as pick up an item off the floor,..................life isn't through with her yet. She might just suffer pain and know what its all about, then I can tell her to "suck it up".
I think you did that a long time ago.
You are not a victim, you are a MOTHER. Slap that girl and open her eyes. I mean it. She needs to be slapped and brought back to the real world.
Let her go to foster care and see how happy she is. I'd pack her bags. And your husband is no man to allow what is going on in your house to continue.
Sorry, but that's the truth.
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