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Old 03-28-2010, 04:43 PM
 
108 posts, read 237,504 times
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I guess I'm having trouble understanding how a mother who has had many years on the police force had trouble restraining her 11 year old son in such a way that put in question whether or not she was abusing him. Unless he's a very large, strong 11 year old who could (and was trying to) physically over-power him, surely she would know of some tactics to use to protect herself and get him to calm down. Clearly, there's something going on here if an 11 year old thinks it's okay for him to strike his mother. None of us will probably ever know the entire dynamics of what is going on in that house. But there are adults and there are children. An 11 year old doesn't have the maturity to fully understand the ramifications of everything he does and it's unfortunate that no one has laid the groundwork raising him so that this never came up. But the mother should have found some way to protect herself and still not raise the "abuse" alarm.
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:40 PM
 
7,003 posts, read 8,924,207 times
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Nothing the kid could have done warranted that behavior period.
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Old 03-28-2010, 07:56 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
2,213 posts, read 3,981,875 times
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Quote:
And the father putting the child into handcuffs and pretending to take him to jail is utter mental abuse.
I don't know about that. When I was 8 I got caught shoplifting from a store by my father. He drove me to the nearest police car and chatted with the officer for a few minutes before the officer got out and "arrested" me. The officer never drove me anywhere but he did go through the drill of placing me under arrest and telling me where I was going to go, what it's like, etc. That was a huge reality check and can't say I have ever stole since. Funny how I remember that to this day!
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Old 03-29-2010, 11:34 AM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,298 posts, read 1,727,610 times
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if one of my kids hit me .. yes I would have him arrested .. the step dad should have followed thru on the lesson .. Kids today seem to have no respect for anyone and sometimes its not the parents fault .. the kids just seem entitled ( to themselves ) and many parents arent able to deal with controling the kid ..
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Old 03-29-2010, 03:59 PM
 
70 posts, read 162,738 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sskkc View Post
She SLAPPED him in the face - with her HAND, while DEFENDING herself. Perhaps the posters who think this is wrong also believe that our "peacekeeping" forces in the Middle East should not be armed. After all, perhaps it's hypocritical to yell "unstrap that bomb from that child" while pointing a gun.

I find it funny that in schools where 10 year olds with less than 75% reading comprehension scores are considered "academically unacceptable", yet the majority of the "adult" posters on a Parenting forum, have trouble and only react in a way that reflects their political agendas.
She did more than slap him in the face, according to the Dr who examined the child. More details in this article...

Court documents detail alleged child abuse by Allen officers | Dallas - Fort Worth News | wfaa.com | Crime
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Old 03-29-2010, 04:22 PM
 
Location: Boerne area
700 posts, read 897,315 times
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Quote:
The court documents say she disciplined him by "striking him on the head with a metal spoon, striking him in the face with her hands and striking him on his buttocks with a belt, leaving severe marks and bruising."
"A physician did examine the child, and in their opinion, did determine it was abuse,"


I was ok with step-dad, but if this is true he crossed the line too -

Quote:
the boy's stepfather, Robert Darrin Smith, came home a short time later and "handcuffed the victim, threw him to the ground, strangled him, picked him up and placed him in a car and transported him to the Allen Police Department."




Quote:
According to the court documents, a CPS investigator asked the boy's mother at what point the discipline would rise to the level of abuse, in her opinion. She responded if she beat her son with a baseball bat and broke his bones, then that would be abuse.

Good to know she recognizes breaking bones as abuse.
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Old 03-29-2010, 06:12 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 2,233,555 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by underPSI View Post
I don't know about that. When I was 8 I got caught shoplifting from a store by my father. He drove me to the nearest police car and chatted with the officer for a few minutes before the officer got out and "arrested" me. The officer never drove me anywhere but he did go through the drill of placing me under arrest and telling me where I was going to go, what it's like, etc. That was a huge reality check and can't say I have ever stole since. Funny how I remember that to this day!
Agreed. When I was about 14 I was caught drinking in a park by the police who drove me home. My father answered the door and told the cops to arrest me. They did and while the charges were eventually dropped, spending half the night in the police station certainly changed my behavior. NOT mental abuse, good parenting.
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Old 06-07-2010, 06:45 AM
 
2 posts, read 1,325 times
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I have a question. Would it be considered child abuse to take a 5 year old child by the arms and slam them on the way enough to leave bruises or welts on the arms. just because they had soap in their eyes?
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Old 06-07-2010, 08:28 AM
 
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We will never get the full true details of what happened here because as usual all the details are after the fact. My general feeling on this one is that it was abuse. Assuming that the kid hit mom first, there was obviously an exchange that followed that ended with mom back in control at which point she took a belt to his butt. IMO I can understand a parent who his hit by an older child responding by hitting them back. It is an emotional response. However, it should have ended there. He hit her, she hit him, conflict over, now let's talk about it and move on. Continuing the hitting wasn't necessary. Also, while I feel that stepdad putting the fear of God into him may not be a bad thing in certain situations, this sounds like it went way over the top. Besides, even if having a police officer give a little lecture or use a scare tactic may work on an impressionable kid, is it really that effective when the cop is your stepdad?

On the greater issue of spanking, I'm not against it entirely, however, I do feel strongly that it is the nuclear option. 99% of issues can be solved in ways that don't require spanking and it should be reserved for those times when behavior is really out of control. I actually had to spank my son for the first time in a long time this weekend.

The kids woke up very early around 5:30am. I wanted to let my wife get some extra sleep as she had been up late the night before working on a project for my daughters room. I took the kids downstairs knowing that they were all still really tired and put a movie on figuring they would go back to sleep. I was feeding the baby and my son was on one end of the couch and my daughter on the other. My son was half asleep, but my daughter seemed to want to play. She was playing quietly, but then headed for the part of the couch where my son was at. He kicked at her when she got close and told her to go away. I told him to go back to his room or go lay with mommy if he was that tired. Of course he didn't budge and put his head on my lap. 5 minutes later my daughter was back again and pulled at his blanket. He kicked again and this time connected. I put the baby down, checked the 2 year old for damage and told my son that I understood he was tired and didn't want to be messed with, but hitting his sister was over the line and he HAD to go back to his room. He didn't budge and rolled over on the couch. I picked him up to carry him to his room and he looked me square in the eye and punched me. As soon as he did it he realized what he had done and had that "oh crap" look on his face. I put him down turned him around and gave him one good smack on the butt and ordered him to his room. He ran to his room in tears and was asleep in 5 minutes and didn't come back down for another 2 hours. When he came down I greeted him like it was a new day and he apologized to me and his sister, case closed. I know he was tired and that explains his behavior, but that isn't an excuse to do what he did. So, I think it has it's place, but is definitely a last resort and saved for the worst of infractions.
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Old 06-07-2010, 02:28 PM
 
Location: colorado
2,791 posts, read 2,447,051 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny1981 View Post
Allen police officers arrested in child discipline case | Dallas - Fort Worth News | wfaa.com | Crime

So, I have to admit I'm pretty shocked at how many people are defending these parents and saying they are only disciplining their child and should be left alone.

I personally am not a big advocate of spanking but I can see where it can be effective on an older child when all other methods have been exhausted. However, in my opinion, what these parents did went way beyond just a spanking. They beat this child to the point where he had bruises on his butt and welts on his face. That's abuse, not discipline!

I don't really have an issue with taking him down to the police station as a scare tactic if what he did warranted that form of punishment. For example, if got caught doing drugs, stealing, assault, vandalism, etc. It's the physical abuse that crossed the line, IMO.

Any thoughts?

Of course the discipline line was crossed. She and her husband cleary abused him..Lets hope they get them both off the police force
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