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Old 03-26-2010, 02:42 PM
 
42,513 posts, read 47,662,781 times
Reputation: 28082
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
Your daughter deserves a chance to find out who she is, not be expected to fit into a personality you desire for her.
Exactly! That could be the reason she's depressed and hiding in her room!

 
Old 03-26-2010, 02:47 PM
 
13,569 posts, read 16,450,984 times
Reputation: 11642
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna-isms View Post
And what is wrong with having grandchildren?
Given the lack of boyfriends are you so sure about having grandkids? Your daughter may be a lesbian...

Of course, I fully support same sex couples and their right to marry and raise children if they so choose, so the grandkid thing could still happen for you.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Georgia
8 posts, read 2,118 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
Most parents aren't wanting grandchildren while their children are still in high school.
Please site where in my previous posts that said I want her to have a child now. Even if she did have children, I will gladly provide and take care of the child. My other fear of her not having a boyfriend would be because she is gay, but if she is there is nothing more that I could do.

I will put my daughters well being first before my religion because I believe God would want me and my daughter to be happy.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 02:56 PM
 
Location: 3814′45″N 12237′53″W
4,153 posts, read 6,522,003 times
Reputation: 3294
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna-isms View Post
I will put my daughters well being first before my religion because I believe God would want me and my daughter to be happy.
Wow. Even in that sentence you immediately contradicted yourself.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 03:01 PM
 
4,473 posts, read 5,841,378 times
Reputation: 3629
Quote:
Originally Posted by rockinmomma View Post
High School is much more tolerant of students who do not follow the pack than they were when you or I were in high school.

My son plays guitar and likes metal. This is his life, his personality and his choice. If there are things that I find offensive, I will not buy it, nor will I allow it played so that I have to hear it. But I will not "ban" it from my home.... because this is HIS home too.I have gone with my son to concerts. I had lawn seats while he had a pit pass. He was not injured. He was not surrounded by evil.... just a bunch of people who wanted to rock. Our city put on a concert (free) in the park for a popular rock band. That was the most "active" pit I have ever seem. No injuries.

You seem to have an opinion of the rock culture that is misconstrued. Just as not all Christians are bible thumpers who see evil at every turn, not all rockers are devil-worshiping witches.

My son, also, has not had a girlfriend since he was 13. He finds most girls have too much drama and he chooses to wait until he finds a girl who he respects instead of just having a girlfriend so he can be like everyone else. My son doesn't use drugs, doesn't drink, doesn't use vulgar language. I am proud of my boy and have had others remark on what an honorable child he is. Even his youth pastor.

Your daughter deserves a chance to find out who she is, not be expected to fit into a personality you desire for her.
This really is excellent advice.

I hope that if you aren't on here to pull everybody's chain, then you will give some consideration to what some have said.

In the scheme of things the music isn't really that big of a deal.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Georgia
8 posts, read 2,118 times
Reputation: 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellalunatic View Post
Wow. Even in that sentence you immediately contradicted yourself.

Hmm I just got reputation point that said in the comments "trailer trash!" was that you bellalunatic?

FYI we live in a nice 2 story home near Savannah, Georgia with 30 acres of land.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Right were I should be!
1,079 posts, read 1,009,921 times
Reputation: 1083
All children rebel. If you are uptight, they are headbangers, if you are a metal head, they will be Alex P. Keaton. They get depressed because they think they are going to be the worst thing they can think of.....YOU!

If the kid is already talking to a therapist, give her a chance to work it out. I have 3 teenagers in my home right now. Happy, well adjusted, 2 going off to college and one a freshman in high school. Wanna know a secret? GIVE THEM THE SPACE TO BE THEMSELVES! Let them express themselves even if it gets a little dark sometimes. Guess what? Kids are a little dark sometimes.

As long as they know you are there for them, it will all work itself out. Take a deep breath and RELAX!
 
Old 03-26-2010, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Minnesota
1,298 posts, read 1,728,863 times
Reputation: 1342
Know folks .. Poor "Ana" isnt ready for our brand of gentle helping her enjoy her daughter .. its why she "reported us "

anyways
Ana.. I am quoting you in post #6 these are your words ..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ana #6 post
When I was her age I had already had 10 boyfriends, it just isn't normal for a teen not to be at least mingling with members of the opposite sex or calling them on the phone.
She might just have a bit more self respect and isnt ready to step into the peer pressure group .. and as another noted .. maybe she is Lesbian.. OR maybe she is still working thru her dads passing ..
Your asking strangers for valuedation of YOUR beliefs .. we are gonna side with the kid because we have em to and many of us have listened to the metal and the grunge and the other crap kids call music ..
sure some of it is rude and out there BUT as I found the less I said about the rap crap that I disliked the less the kid shoved it in my face .. as for religious belief .. I would suggest you study what you dont understand and dont take some preacher word for it that wiccians and other beliefs are evil
Open your mind and find out for yourself
btw she isnt gonna "turn evil" on ya if she explores religion in all its flavors she will how ever understand your fears better after she has explored the whole package and seen what scares some beliefs and not others ..
 
Old 03-26-2010, 03:14 PM
 
1,779 posts, read 1,338,150 times
Reputation: 576
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna-isms View Post
My child is listening to heavy metal satanic music, is this a physiological problem?

She is a junior in high school, never had a boyfriend before, doesn't have any friends that she really talks too, and gets bad grades.

I am concerned about her doing witchcraft or committing suicide. What should I do? I have taken her to a phycriatist but all she said was that your daughter is depressed.

She grew up in a Christian household and anything like heavy metal would not be allowed.

What should be my next step?
I dont care how devout your Christianity is, dont you dare take that music from her. By chance do you even know what bands she is listening to? I am assuming your household is tightly ran, probably too tight. Religion is good, however, like anything it can become an addiction, one that can affect others. Religion is one of those things that needs moderation, My brothers and I were raised Catholic/christian my brothers and I listen to various styles of music that my Mom didnt like but she let us be and we all turned out fine. My oldest listened to kiss and other 80's metal band and passed it on he also listens to christian music. The second oldest listens to Ragge and music close to it. I listen to Rock, Metal, Ragge, and even Christian music. My youngest brother listens to Metal, Death metal and every genre of metal there is. Did you know they even have Christian Metal?

Look at this list of Christian metal: List of Christian metal bands - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If you take away your kids individuality you will take away their personality. Try a different approach. Like listen to some of the christian metal bands and try buying her some Cds in this genre. take an interest without judging. The reaction should be surprising. I suggest Tourniquet Great christian metal band.
 
Old 03-26-2010, 10:30 PM
 
541 posts, read 714,954 times
Reputation: 315
anna...

you will always find people,who have a different opinion then yours in a forum and see you in a bad light....opinions are like a...holes...everybody has one..you be a smart woman and select the opinions that are best for you..you do not have to justify yourself or explain your past hier..

and your past is your past..if you had 10 boyfriends in the past,it is your past and your life...you do not live in the past ,you live in the presence....at that time and that age you made things you thought would be right and nobody could define you today after this information in your past..period...i know somebody who had way more boyfriends then you and is one of the best wife and mothers on the earth and her wild time stopped after highschool and college...no big deal...european women enjoy life when they are young,so what..if i am young and single i am free to do,whatever i feel like...my problem...who would threw the stone first???

so past is past...do not waste time about it or explain yourself hier...we do not live in the past..

now to your daughter...very good decision to act acoridng to your believes and values..if other people tolerate such music in their house,their problem,you are the boss of your life and your house..period...in your house you make the rules...

i am sorry about your lost,but be a strong woman and show your daughter that you care about her and try to communicate with her...set boundaries,even if it seems difficult for you...be tough as nails,because it is only in the interest of your daughter to stop such a behaviour..this type of music is not the right music for somebody ,who lost one of his parent..it is totally destructive and you should never allow it in your house again..be very stricte and control her time after school,fight for her,bring her back to life..you will succed,just believe in yourself...such music has nothing lost in your house ...like i said it is your values,your opinion,your believes and rules...who does not like it,bad for him...you follow your heart and your believes...you are the one,who show your child the way,you educate him,you show him the right values and believes in life..the way you form it,this way you have it...it is your work,her education,her development is your mirror...i see soo many valueless households in usa,where parents do not care..where parents do not care,about how long their kids sit in fornt of the computers,in front of tvs,do not care about what type of movies they look at,how long,what type of video games they play and how long...how long they play outside,which pages they surf in internet and how long....so many parents just do not care hier in usa..you do not want to become such a parent,a parent who just do not care...please care about your daughter,bring her on the right way,the way YOU BLEIEVE is right,not foreign people from a fourm..take only the advices you find right for your life and your education...it is a free country and you are free to choose...the opinion you like best and the way you educate your child.. is only your decision...and if you think so is right,just follow your heart...be strong on position and you will make the right jobe...she will rebell,but she will go over it...i wish you strength and best luck in this world..you can do it,be a strong woman!change her habits,her life style,her activities after school..one day she will thank to you...good luck

p.s and about the people,who threw stones to you in this forums with their answers..be smart and do not even bother to read them till the end...in life you must choose only,what is best for you and stay away from teh rest..you do not need that...and three time you do not need to answer to them..you have something better to do,believe me...

Last edited by Buburuza13; 03-26-2010 at 10:38 PM..
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