Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 03-17-2010, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
1,820 posts, read 4,478,568 times
Reputation: 1924

Advertisements

Well... the nice weather is finally arriving, & for the most part, I hope it is here to stay!
With only a slight problem...

With good weather brings the kids out, which is fine,they need to be outside!! however, my children are young (8 & 4) and I still do not allow them to be outside w/out me. I may let them go in the backyard if I am right in an area inside that I can see them or hear them w/the slider open.
Not very often though.
The problem is, all the other kids want to play and there is not one single,other adult outside. I end up being outside for sometimes 2 hours in the afternoon after school and end up supervising at least 3 other children.
I know that when my oldest goes to their house, they are allowed to be outside unsupervised and although I don't like it, I can't tell a parent what to do. They know that when their child is at my house, they are not left outside alone. They think I am "nuts" to stay outside with them.
We live in a very nice development, haven't heard of any problems,but as we all know,there is not ever a gtd. that "something" couldn't happen.
Some of the kids just don't listen.period. When I say it is time to start picking up, because our entire garage bascially gets emptied of balls,hula hoops,bubbles,skooters,you name it, it is pulled out, no one helps.

I don't want to be the "mean mom" on the block but something has to change this year because I can't take another Spring/Summer of having to be outside all afternoon with everyone else's children.. I feel like a free babysitter and I am done with it all.
How old do you think it is okay to let the kids outside alone? I have told my children they HAVE to stay in the backyard so I can see them,but then when the other children come over,they are all over the place,some in the front,some in the back,etc.... and I just can't watch them all.All of the time.
I have my own things to do and quite frankly don't want to sacrifice my entire Summer watching everyone else's children!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 03-17-2010, 09:40 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,674,825 times
Reputation: 2194
Why can't your 8 year old play outside with the other kids? I doubt the other parents expect you to watch the kids since they are free to play outside without supervision at their houses. You took that upon yourself.

I'd give the 8 year old a little freedom and allow him to play with his friends without mom hanging around lurking all the time.

The 4 year old should be able to play in the yard as long as you know where he is.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 10:02 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
403 posts, read 1,559,400 times
Reputation: 236
I didn't let my 8 year old play outside unless I can see/hear her either. Safety first.

I would put a time limit on watching everyone else's kids. A couple hours a week, maybe? Whatever is best for you and fits into your schedule. That is unless, of course, the parents want to pay you for babysitting.

Last edited by kc2sweet4ne1; 03-17-2010 at 10:03 PM.. Reason: grammar
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-17-2010, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Arkansas
2,383 posts, read 6,044,037 times
Reputation: 1141
This has happened to me as well! But, towards the end of fall, when the weather started getting cooler, I took it upon myself to stop babysitting everyone elses kids. So, if we went outside and someone just sent their kid outside, I would A) text the parent to come 'hang out' with me, B) tell that child that we were heading inside and that they would have to go home since no adult was outside, and/or C) STOP watching that child while outside. If that child asked me a question about whether or not they could go somewhere, my response would be "go ask your mother/father!" I mean, I really stopped watching the kids whose parents were too lazy to get outside! I didn't give them directions or instructions for safety or anything! It may sound mean, but if you act like you will be responsible for those kids, then people will pawn their children off on you. You have to make it known that you will not give orders, referee, or be the safety patrol queen/king!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 04:37 AM
 
20,793 posts, read 61,093,078 times
Reputation: 10691
I agree that the 8 year old should be allowed to play outside with friends without you supervising from the description of your neighborhood. Now, if you lived on a busy street and had drug dealers down the road that would be another issue. People just get too hyped up over the 'someone is going to take my child" thing that the poor kids can't ever do anything.

I would be thrilled to death if the kids in the neighborhood felt comfortable playing in my yard--and when our kids were younger the neighborhood did play in the yard. All the kids in our neighborhood would be out playing, the older kids kept an eye on the younger ones--even as young as 4-we had some older girls that loved playing with the little ones. At any given time we could have 30 kids in our yard. No one got abducted.

As for picking up the toys, just tell everyone before they start that before they go home they have to pick up 5 things or whatever it is.

You should be happy you live in a neighborhood where kids run around and play outside.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 05:32 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
24,012 posts, read 28,346,006 times
Reputation: 41121
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with my 8 yo playing outside with a group of friends without me (especially in the backyard). It's one thing if they were going to the park down the street with no adult (trying to remember what age we allowed that...). I guess it depends on what your concern is. I would think that if your concern is abduction, then a backyard is certainly safer than the front....it would be nearly impossible to park a car, go into someone's backyard, where there was a group of children with an adult home in the house and the windows open, glancing out the window from time to time, or bringing out a pitcher of KoolAid....snatch a child, drag her to the car, start the car and drive away without attracting attention. If you have other concerns dangerous/daredevil play etc, I'd guess you'd need to think about those separately. Really, you are the only one who can make the decision for your children but at some point, kids need to be able to play without someone watching their every move. You'll need to figure out how to start preparing them (and you!) for this. Good luck. It's hard to know what the best decision is sometimes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 07:13 AM
 
2,839 posts, read 9,956,876 times
Reputation: 2944
My son just turned nine, and my daughter is almost seven. They are allowed to play in our yard unattended... I peek out occasionally, and keep a window open so I can hear them. When we lived in a community that sounds like what you live in, I'd let them play in our yard as well as the adjacent yard (where their friend lived) with minimal supervision. I agree that a four-year-old might need constant adult supervision, but an eight year old really does not, especially in their own yard or the next-door neighbor's yard. I don't let my kids play on the front sidewalk or in the front yard unattended, but if they want to ride their bikes up our driveway, past our house, and down the neighbor's driveway (we share a "parking lot" in the back, connected by our driveways, and the neighbors don't mind!), then I don't go with them up and around.

A group of kids is safer than a single child, so I welcome it when other kids are in our yard. I'd rather have them all playing in our yard than somewhere else; at least then I can look out occasionally and make sure that all is well. I don't think you really need to keep a close eye on the neighbor kids. Just tell your kids to stay in the back, or between your yard and Susie's yard (or whatever), and look out occasionally. If your four-year-old is good about staying with the other kids, then I'd apply this to him as well, but only you know if he's a runner or a loner... in which case, I'd only let him out if I were going as well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 08:16 AM
 
5,747 posts, read 12,014,128 times
Reputation: 4511
When my youngest was four and my oldest was seven, I often sat outside with them while they played with other children. I enjoyed watching and listening to them. Now that they're older, I still enjoy hanging out at the playground after school while they play, even though they don't really need it anymore. They'll be grown and gone too soon. Other kids don't bother me at all. Love it when they come over!

Here's my suggestion for the OP: try suggesting to the other kids' parents that the kids take turns with playing at each others' houses.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 08:24 AM
 
758 posts, read 1,865,998 times
Reputation: 954
Agree also on the 8 year old playing outside by him/herself. I wouldn't leave him/her out there for hours without checking but as long you check on him every once in a while he will be fine.

My house has large windows across the back in the main areas of the house (family room, kitchen) and I even let my 4 year old play in the back yard by himself because I can always glance up and see him from where ever I am, that and I have latches on the gates so he can't go out of the backyard.

You should feel blessed and take advantage of the fact that you live in a safe area with no problems.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-18-2010, 08:27 AM
 
2,605 posts, read 4,674,825 times
Reputation: 2194
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYMD67 View Post
With good weather brings the kids out, which is fine,they need to be outside!! however, my children are young (8 & 4) and I still do not allow them to be outside w/out me. I may let them go in the backyard if I am right in an area inside that I can see them or hear them w/the slider open.
Not very often though.
The problem is, all the other kids want to play and there is not one single,other adult outside. I end up being outside for sometimes 2 hours in the afternoon after school and end up supervising at least 3 other children.
I know that when my oldest goes to their house, they are allowed to be outside unsupervised and although I don't like it, I can't tell a parent what to do. They know that when their child is at my house, they are not left outside alone. They think I am "nuts" to stay outside with them.
We live in a very nice development, haven't heard of any problems,but as we all know,there is not ever a gtd. that "something" couldn't happen.

I don't want to be the "mean mom" on the block but something has to change this year because I can't take another Spring/Summer of having to be outside all afternoon with everyone else's children.. I feel like a free babysitter and I am done with it all.
How old do you think it is okay to let the kids outside alone? I have told my children they HAVE to stay in the backyard so I can see them,but then when the other children come over,they are all over the place,some in the front,some in the back,etc.... and I just can't watch them all.All of the time.
I have my own things to do and quite frankly don't want to sacrifice my entire Summer watching everyone else's children!
Has it occurred to you that other parents don't expect you to watch their children? There are two key phrases you used that should tell you they don't. 1) "I know that when my oldest goes to their house, they are allowed to be outside unsupervised" and 2)They think I am "nuts" to stay outside with them.

The babysitting is all in your head. Sorry, but that's the truth. You say, " haven't heard of any problems,but as we all know,there is not ever a gtd. that "something" couldn't happen." There is never a guarantee that something couldn't happen when you drive to the store either, or when you stand on a stool to reach something on a shelf. There are no guarantees in life. None.

Raising your kids to be afraid of playing outside without you is just plain wrong. So many mothers these days say as long as there's a chance... . Well, there is seldom a chance of something really bad happening, and if you were right out there, how could you possibly stop it?

It's a right of passage for kids to take the step of playing outside by themselves without adult supervision.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top