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Old 06-07-2007, 05:16 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,630,312 times
Reputation: 2236

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In a heartbeat. I would change not one thing. My oldest son was an unexpected pregnancy at 22. Totally the wrong time. Won't go through the details. I wasn't ready. The first 2 years were so hard. Welfare system and all. But, he is the one that made me mature, because I was so going down the wrong path. Being a mother finally made me grow up, become responsible, put someone first before myself...he is the one that made me go back to college because I realized I wanted the best for him, the one that made me keep going to college despite having to work nights to make ends meet, the one who made me graduate Magna *** Laude because I wanted to try to be the best I could ever be, to give him the things and life that I never had.

I would never give it back. Ever. So now I have 2 children since age of 22, and my hubby was 21. They have made us better. Of course I don't sleep anymore. But, I had enough of a wild life to last for 5 people, before the age of 23, so I am good to go. I don't miss one thing.

I still want another one, but am not ready yet to appropriately keep my family stable, so we will see how it goes.
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Old 06-07-2007, 05:29 AM
 
4,963 posts, read 3,930,678 times
Reputation: 2917
I would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Would I change anything ; definately. The only major thing I would change is I wouldnt have worked for the first year with both children. It was a year from hell ; we have only 17 months between the boys and my younger had lots of health issues during his first year. I should have handed the business over to my dh for a full year. But I thought I was supermum and could do it all. The stress was awful.

Now that they are older, life is great. Sure, the guilt is there, but it will always be there. But we are all healthy, wiser and happy.
dorothy
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Old 06-07-2007, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,956,329 times
Reputation: 2620
Absolutely I would do it over. We tried for about 2 years to get pregnant, and I am so elated that we succeeded! I totally love being a mother and I marvel at the wonderful little girl I have. She just turned 1, and I haven't been apart from her for more than about 5 hours since she was born, and I have no desire to. I hear other moms talk about needing a break and wanting to get out for an evening without the kids, and I have no desire to do that. She's such a joy to my life that I want to have her around all the time!
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Old 06-07-2007, 09:27 AM
 
90 posts, read 240,045 times
Reputation: 53
If I knew now what I wished I could have known then, I would not have had a child. I had one child and struggled with everything........the pregnancy, the birth, the baby, the toddler, the teenager and everything in between. We survived somehow, he is now 22 going on 23. I love him because he is my son, but he will never know that is how feel about being a mother. Everyone that is close to me and knows me well has told me that I was a good mother, I tried, maybe too hard, but in spite of my attempts I always was in a state of frustration trying to be a parent. I think that some of us women just are not cut out emotionally to be moms and if we aren't, we shouldn't feel guilty for not having any if we so choose not to.
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Old 06-07-2007, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 19,922,306 times
Reputation: 21277
Default Motherhood

I never really wanted to be a mother because I didn't especially enjoy children. I always loved babies, but children....uh, not as much. But when my son was born, I fell head over heels in love with him. I even wanted a girl...or thought I did. In spite of all that, the years I spent raising my son were the best of my life. Motherhood fulfilled needs I didn't even realize I had!
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Old 06-07-2007, 10:34 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
985 posts, read 2,551,411 times
Reputation: 812
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADVentive View Post
Absolutely I would do it over. We tried for about 2 years to get pregnant, and I am so elated that we succeeded! I totally love being a mother and I marvel at the wonderful little girl I have. She just turned 1, and I haven't been apart from her for more than about 5 hours since she was born, and I have no desire to. I hear other moms talk about needing a break and wanting to get out for an evening without the kids, and I have no desire to do that. She's such a joy to my life that I want to have her around all the time!
Out of everyone that has posted so far, this most reflects my feelings. I had my first a son at 24 my second at 40 (she was a surprise). I have been raising a minor child since 1979, my daughter is only 12 so I have alot more years left before I am considered "done". I am 53 and I would not have changed a thing. I never feel like a need a break from my kids. They keep me grounded and focused. It has not been easy. I raised my son by myself for 10 years until I met my husband. My son now lives in Tucson and I am here in NJ. It kills me I miss him so much. But I have my daughter who is just a great kid, we are close. My daughter is 12 and I still love to have her around me all the time. My husband feels the same. I love being a mom!
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Old 06-07-2007, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Chattanooga TN
2,349 posts, read 9,497,973 times
Reputation: 1197
I had my son @ 33, a honeymoon baby at that. Looking back, I wish I had started earlier and had another. But now at 36 and recently divorced it's probably not in the books. If I found the right person in the next week or two sure, I'd do it again lol
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Old 06-08-2007, 11:47 PM
LML
 
Location: Wisconsin
7,109 posts, read 7,921,591 times
Reputation: 5154
Would I choose to have children again? Absolutely. BUT, I would wait until I was older and actually CHOSE to have them. I was too young, too unprepared. I love them so very much and wish I had been as good a parent as I have been a grandparent.
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Old 06-09-2007, 12:43 AM
 
743 posts, read 2,038,957 times
Reputation: 236
My three kids are the light of my life and a "life-sucking" force at the same time

If i had to do it over again, I would have had my kids EARLIER.....I had my first at 30, second at 33 and third at 36.

I'm married to a supportive husband, but still find parenting to be an ongoing struggle and a challenge......my admiration goes out to all you single parents....I probably would have jumped out the window or something
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Old 06-09-2007, 12:55 AM
 
9 posts, read 29,201 times
Reputation: 15
I had my son when I was 16 and raised him mostly as a single mother and it was tough. I had my tubes tied at 28 because I never wanted to have more. I was single at the time and thought there was no way I would ever do it again. Had I been older and married when I had my son, I'm sure it would have been different. My son had it rough and now he is 28 and doesn't want or like children. Im afraid that he felt it was so difficult raising him that it has scared him. I recently married (after all this time) a wonderfull man who also had kids too young (age 20) and he felt the same way but now we are getting ready to become foster parents to my 16 year old nephew who lost his parents. We are not thrilled about it but we feel that we are the most willing and qualified in the family and we feel that now that we are older and more mature we are very ready to take on this task. It also helps that I went back to school after my son turned 18 and I now work as a social worker with children who suffer from mental illness.
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