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Old 04-19-2012, 05:48 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,073,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Whether or not you want to admit it, there is a correct range of pant length, and 3 inches above the ankle is not in that range. Anyone who realizes this is not automatically a jerk.
"Correct!" Ok. You win. I am a fashion idiot. Which I knew. I cannot imagine how I lived this long with my wrongness on pant lengths and the horror that is wearing high water pants! I die.
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:51 PM
 
Location: here
17,030 posts, read 14,558,706 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
"Correct!" Ok. You win. I am a fashion idiot. Which I knew. I cannot imagine how I lived this long with my wrongness on pant lengths and the horror that is wearing high water pants! I die.
Well, if nothing else, at least we now know that you are not one of those "perfect parents"
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:55 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,073,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Well, if nothing else, at least we now know that you are not one of those "perfect parents"
Sez you. I am proud of my kids defiance in the face of the fashion police! May THIS be the biggest parenting issue either of us ever faces. Then we know we have it easy.
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:58 PM
 
Location: IL
12,173 posts, read 6,116,809 times
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My job as a parent is to encourage the individuality of my children, as well as prevent undue hardship by letting them do things that I know may cause social ridicule. I am older and wiser than they are, and I know there are mean kids who pick on others for their appearance. I don't believe it's encouraging conformity to reduce the chances of ridicule, there are many avenues for expressing individuality, wearing high-waters doesn't need to be one of them.

My rules for appearance; good hygiene, clothes that fit, all bits covered that should be.
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:58 PM
 
Location: here
17,030 posts, read 14,558,706 times
Reputation: 13929
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Sez you. I am proud of my kids defiance in the face of the fashion police! May THIS be the biggest parenting issue either of us ever faces. Then we know we have it easy.
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Old 04-19-2012, 05:59 PM
 
Location: here
17,030 posts, read 14,558,706 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick View Post
My job as a parent is to encourage the individuality of my children, as well as prevent undue hardship by letting them do things that I know may cause social ridicule. I am older and wiser than they are, and I know there are mean kids who pick on others for their appearance. I don't believe it's encouraging conformity to reduce the chances of ridicule, there are many avenues for expressing individuality, wearing high-waters doesn't need to be one of them.

My rules for appearance; good hygiene, clothes that fit, all bits covered that should be.
I like this.
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:25 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
21,295 posts, read 19,384,638 times
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Here's one for the group. My situation is the opposite, where I am aware that my kid doesn't "look right," and she is not. I'm not sure what to do about it.

My middle child is developmentally disabled. You can tell there is something atypical about her just by looking at her, because of her facial expressions and the way she moves. She has poor eyesight and wears thick glasses (fashionable ones), but she has pretty blue eyes and very thick, shiny blonde hair. I buy her reasonably "in" clothes, so she dresses like a lot of the girls at her school. She usually wears yoga pants and a logo sweatshirt from Aeropostale or something like that. She is 14 and graduating junior high this year. Emotionally and socially, she is much younger, more like a seven-year-old. The kids at her school have been nice to her as far as I know. She is oblivious to anything but very overt, hurtful speech--she is on the autism spectrum and does not get social nuances at all--so she is oblivious to snickers, whispers, funny looks, etc.

My daughter has a heavy unibrow, which I trim for her. I have one of those tiny brow shaper razors and clean it up in the shower. (She needs help bathing.) That's not a big deal. But she's developing visible hair on her upper lip, blonde also but thick like the hair on her head. And she has very hairy legs. I know she couldn't care less whether she is a hairy girl, but kids can be cruel and she's going to be going to high school where grooming is in full swing. Now, if they ARE cruel, my daughter will probably never notice except to be confused if someone rejects her friendliness. This is my discomfort, my feeling that I need to do something to help her fit in as much as possible, like I do by buying her cute clothes and spending more for special glasses that aren't quite as thick.

She's not going to be able to shave her own legs. She probably wouldn't do a good job with depilatory. And her upper lip ... maybe I should just let it go. I just don't know what the right thing to do is, and whether I am unnecessarily projecting my own hang-ups onto an otherwise happy kid.
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:31 PM
 
8,012 posts, read 4,073,283 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I just don't know what the right thing to do is, and whether I am unnecessarily projecting my own hang-ups onto an otherwise happy kid.
In the case that she really CAN'T grasp the nuances, it seems perfectly reasonable to protect her from cruelty by doing whatever it takes to look "normal". (Ew I hate that word.) Thankfully it does not seem that cruelty is yet in action, which you would think it would in JH.
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Old 04-19-2012, 06:49 PM
 
2,820 posts, read 2,150,056 times
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Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
For my son, the deciding factor seems to be how little effort he has to put in to dressing in the morning. Breakfast and reading take precedence.

LOL.
I'm with your son!. I will not waste time in the morning 'getting pretty'. Every minute I could in theory spend slapping on make-up/doing hair is a minute I'd much rather spend sleeping.

My hairdresser way overcharges, but I stick with her because she listens to me when I say "No, seriously, I am not going to blow dry it or put anything in it. Keep it simple." Previous hairdressers would kind of nod along and tell me "Oh, it only takes five minutes...you just fluff it here and spray it here and curl it there..." Which of course I wouldn't do and it would look awful even to my own eyes. Now I have what is basically a boy's cut that I don't have to worry about. If I had the guts I'd shave it off entirely.

Five minutes on hair? I could read a chapter in five minutes! I may look like a mess, but at least I'm well-read!
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Old 04-19-2012, 07:09 PM
 
Location: IL
12,173 posts, read 6,116,809 times
Reputation: 11801
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I just don't know what the right thing to do is, and whether I am unnecessarily projecting my own hang-ups onto an otherwise happy kid.
I don't think you are unnecessarily projecting at all, just being a good mamma. I'm just curious if you have asked your older daughter's opinion as she knows the peer group, etc.? I would say if your daughter is unable to maintain standard grooming that her peers are most likely doing, and that will prevent untoward attention, then it's fair enough to do it for her.
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