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Old 04-10-2010, 03:06 PM
 
Location: Montgomery Village, MD
516 posts, read 1,168,183 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
Oh I understand it for a 5 and 2 yo but I thought it was odd for a 16 and 19 yo (who are obviously old enough to pronounce last names)....

ETA - of course it's your prerogative - didn't mean to infer otherwise, just that it was awkward for older kids (approaching young adulthood) and when that's not what you've been accustomed to....They survived and know that "when in Rome"....

Oh yeah, I can totally get that with older kids.. it would kind of be hard.. I'm not sure what I would want.. I guess once my kids are older I'll figure it out hahaha
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Old 04-10-2010, 03:08 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,838,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TouchOfWhimsy View Post
How is that respectful to the adult in question? And why would it be confusing? My kids have no problem remembering other people's names... knowing that Andy's mom likes to be called "Miss Mary" and Kyle's mom likes to be called simply "Dorie," is no different than knowing their last names, and to call them "Mrs. Smith" or "Mrs. Jones." My kids' friends call me "Miss Michelle" or simply "Michelle." My own kids call their friends' moms by whatever they prefer... so far, there has been no confusion, LOL.
FYI, A child being respectful to an adult is different than what the adult wants to be called. For a child to call an adult by his or her first name takes the sense of boundary from the child. It blurs the line between child and adult and puts them on common ground. They aren't and shouldn't be.

No child is on equal ground as an adult. They haven't lived long enough.
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Old 04-10-2010, 03:20 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,681,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
FYI, A child being respectful to an adult is different than what the adult wants to be called. For a child to call an adult by his or her first name takes the sense of boundary from the child. It blurs the line between child and adult and puts them on common ground. They aren't and shouldn't be.

No child is on equal ground as an adult. They haven't lived long enough.
So, just to be clear, if an adult says to my child, "Oh, don't call me Mrs. Smith; that makes me think you're talking about my mother-in-law! I'd prefer for you to call me Marie." then in your eyes, it would be more respectful for the child to ignore her request, and to deliberately continue to call her Mrs. Smith. Is this what you are saying?
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Old 04-10-2010, 03:30 PM
 
2,605 posts, read 3,838,207 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TouchOfWhimsy View Post
So, just to be clear, if an adult says to my child, "Oh, don't call me Mrs. Smith; that makes me think you're talking about my mother-in-law! I'd prefer for you to call me Marie." then in your eyes, it would be more respectful for the child to ignore her request, and to deliberately continue to call her Mrs. Smith. Is this what you are saying?
That's what I'm saying.
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Old 04-10-2010, 03:33 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,044,657 times
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I am confused - do your own children not say yes m'am and no m'am to you when you call/talk to them- what do they say?
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Old 04-10-2010, 04:06 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,775 posts, read 21,256,423 times
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No, my kids do not say yes m'am or no ma'm. They say "yes" or "yes please" or "no" or "no thank you" depending. That is not considered impolite here.
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Old 04-10-2010, 04:19 PM
 
2,838 posts, read 8,681,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
That's what I'm saying.
Okay, thanks for clearing that up.
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Old 04-10-2010, 04:56 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 3,667,567 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
I am confused - do your own children not say yes m'am and no m'am to you when you call/talk to them- what do they say?
Ours say, "Yes, Mom/Mommy" or "No, Mom/Mommy".
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Old 04-10-2010, 05:22 PM
 
897 posts, read 2,044,657 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
No, my kids do not say yes m'am or no ma'm. They say "yes" or "yes please" or "no" or "no thank you" depending. That is not considered impolite here.

I am sure most of everyones children are polite and it seems they all have their own way of being polite- I know that mine use their manners away from me and it always makes me so happy!!
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Old 04-10-2010, 05:24 PM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,022 posts, read 23,929,222 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brit3218 View Post
Where I come from, children were always expected to say "Yes mam", "No mam, or "Yes sir" , "No sir" to their parents or elders. Do any of you use this rule in your home? Is it disrespectful for kids to just say "yes or no? What is your take on this?
Yeah, that's how I was raised.

My Dad would turn red if I didn't insert the prefix while talking to strangers
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