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Old 04-10-2010, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Denver area
20,778 posts, read 21,308,392 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hlsess View Post
I am sure most of everyones children are polite and it seems they all have their own way of being polite- I know that mine use their manners away from me and it always makes me so happy!!
I agree. It has much more to do with attitude that words. I get comments very frequently about how polite my son is. As are most of his friends when they visit here. Some kids call me Mrs. MM and some call me by my first name - it really depends on the circumstances of our acquaintence. The ones that call me Mrs. MM are not any more or less polite than the ones that call me by my first name.

ETA - I would rather a young person called me by my first name and looked directly at me, had a firm handshake, cleaned up after themselves etc....than simply call me Mrs. MM and slouch around, never meeting my eyes, and was a slob in my house (of course, that behavior would pretty much guarantee they would not be back in any event!)
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:43 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 37,087,636 times
Reputation: 16040
I would never expect a younger kid to remember what every adult wants to be called. It will be Mr. and Mrs. last name for my children.
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,341 posts, read 39,809,025 times
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we've taught all 7 of our kids to use Sir and Mam. And they aren't allowed to answer "What?" when we call them. It has to be "Sir?' or "Mam?".

This is from the double whammy of being raised in the South and also my having Army Colonel for a father. Other than that, I generally haven't raised our kids any thing like I was raised.

Also I ask our adult friends how they would like to be referred to and tell my children to use whatever the adult prefers. I don't mind being called by my first name but here in the South it is usuall Miss xyz regardless of marital status.
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:10 PM
 
496 posts, read 1,485,502 times
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Thanks for the feedback! I was raised to say yes mam, no mam, yes sir and no sir. If you didn't address adults that way, then it is considered disrespectful. But I think it depends on the adult because some of them may prefer to be called something else. I think that kids can be respectful without using mam or sir but I do think they should use Mrs, Mr, etc.
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Old 04-10-2010, 11:00 PM
 
Location: San Diego
497 posts, read 753,459 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NoExcuses View Post
That's just plain silly. Every child would be so confused as to how to address any given adult. Children should address adults as Sir, Ma'am, Mr. or Mrs. There should be no exceptions.

I STILL call those older than I Mr. and Mrs.. Sometimes I use Sir or Ma'am.

I don't care what an adult wishes my child to call him/her, it's ALWAYS Mr. or Mrs..
So you don't give a crap about other adults' wishes in how they want to be addressed? That isn't teaching your child maners and respect, that's teaching them that other peoples' feelings and wishes don't count. If an adult asks my child to call them by their first name, I respect the wishes of that adult. My kids are completely capable of respectfully addressing someone by the first name.

However if an adult wishes to be called Mr. or Mrs. then my child follows that request. It's all about respect of an individual's feelings. Personally, if anyone ever makes the mistake of calling me Mrs. or ma'am, I gently correct them and tell them to please address me by my first name, because that is how I identify myself.
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Old 04-10-2010, 11:03 PM
 
Location: San Diego
497 posts, read 753,459 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
I would never expect a younger kid to remember what every adult wants to be called. It will be Mr. and Mrs. last name for my children.
So you think they're capable of remembering everyone's last name but not whatever name the person wishes to be addressed? LOL!! I think you greatly underestimate children.
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Old 04-10-2010, 11:15 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,398 posts, read 6,814,577 times
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As a kid, I was taught that it was yes/no/sir/ma'am. If you became more aquainted with the adult, you may eventually slip into putting a mr/miss in front of their first name IF and ONLY IF they told you to do so.
For example, the parents of a very good friend of mine were eventually addressed as "Ms Sue/Mr Jim" I still call them that to this day. Addressing a senior citizen with a Ms *firstname* is only done if you are very good friends with that person.

The first time I was personally called ma'am surprised me (I was 18), and while at 23 Im still getting used to it, I would expect it out of a child, and would indeed raise an eyebrow if one tried to call me by my first name uninvited. Even then, a Ms. would be expected to be attached to it.
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Old 04-11-2010, 05:38 AM
 
77 posts, read 115,799 times
Reputation: 230
This is interesting...I had no idea that people would be offended by the use of ma'am or sir! I grew up in TN and MS and am in TX now and I still use the terms when interacting with people. It was ingrained in me that those terms were used by polite people who had been taught manners, to do otherwise would imply the opposite.

I am raising my children to use the terms as well. However, living in a very large, urban city here in TX, it seems it's not used frequently by other families not from the south and it's much harder to make it second nature to my children when they are frequently exposed to kids replying "yeah" or "nope" to questions from adults, which is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me!
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Old 04-11-2010, 06:53 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,022,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TouchOfWhimsy View Post
So, just to be clear, if an adult says to my child, "Oh, don't call me Mrs. Smith; that makes me think you're talking about my mother-in-law! I'd prefer for you to call me Marie." then in your eyes, it would be more respectful for the child to ignore her request, and to deliberately continue to call her Mrs. Smith. Is this what you are saying?

In that case she'd be Miss Marie. Last name or first name is up to the addressee, but one way or another some sort of honorific will be attached.
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Old 04-11-2010, 07:01 AM
 
Location: Eastern time zone
4,469 posts, read 6,022,272 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by manderly6 View Post
I would never expect a younger kid to remember what every adult wants to be called. It will be Mr. and Mrs. last name for my children.

I don't understand. If the three year old can remember that this person is Mrs. Jones and this person is Mr. Smith, why wouldn't they be able to remember this other person over here is Miss Suzanne?
At that age, Miss-Mr.-Mrs.-Ms. is all part of the rest of the name. "Mister Chris", "Mrs. Jones", "Debbie" (the four-year-old next door), "Fido" (the iguana).
At least, unless you're (generic you, not accusatory) one of the people who considers a stand-alone "Mister" or "Missus" to be an appropriate form of address. I kind of think that one sounds a lot like a gender-specific "hey you!" and would cringe to hear my child use it....but I hear it occasionally out in public.
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