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Old 04-10-2010, 12:07 AM
 
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Where I come from, children were always expected to say "Yes mam", "No mam, or "Yes sir" , "No sir" to their parents or elders. Do any of you use this rule in your home? Is it disrespectful for kids to just say "yes or no? What is your take on this?
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:28 AM
 
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I agree totally- My children are 15 and 17 and I know that they use their manners most of the time- I am sure there are slipups from time to time but I think chilkdren these days should respect their elders-
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Old 04-10-2010, 07:31 AM
 
Location: Denver area
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I think you can respect your elders without necessarily saying "sir" or "ma'am". I think that tends to be more regional. I did not grow up saying that (even in a military family) and neither do my kids but they are definitely polite and respectful.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:00 AM
 
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Yes, and Mr. and Mrs. too. I'm amazed how many kids use my first name. Its important to differentiate that adults are not you peers.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:06 AM
 
Location: NJ
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I was never taught to say mam and sir growing up. I don't think that meant we were any less respectuful than someone that did.

I don't intend on teaching my duaghter to say sir or mam. But she will say Mr. and Mrs. I don't like kids using adults names.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:13 AM
 
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We don't use sir or mam here either. It is more regional.

I actually don't have a problem with kids using my first name. If they are respectful kids, it doesn't matter to me.

When my son's best friend comes over I am always amazed at how polite he is. Sometimes I don't even see when he comes in, but when he leaves, he always looks for me, says thank you and goodbye. With those kind of manners I don't care that he calls me by my first name. I'm sure my son gets tired of me saying, "I hope when you go over to his house you are as polite as he is!".
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:30 AM
 
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Actually everywhere I've lived, 'sir' and 'ma'am' are taken as sassy. Because these terms are only used when someone is throwing around their rank or authority (like a boss being a jerk just for the sake of reminding everyone that he is the boss).

Except in the south, a kid would likely be sent to the principal's office for saying 'yes ma'am'.
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Old 04-10-2010, 09:08 AM
 
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Definitely regional. My kids were born in NJ, where adults, unless very close family friends, were called Mr and Mrs. Same thing during our three years in FL. Now we are in GA, and sir and ma'am are the rule more than the exception. We didn't introduce it, their coaches and teachers did.

After 4+ years here, it almost sounds natural, even when directed at me!
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:51 AM
 
Location: Baywood Park
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That's regional. I have a friend from Illinois who lives in CA now. It upsets him when his kid's friends don't call him Mr. so and so. It's not the cultural norm in California. But my mother did have me call our neighbors Mr. and Mrs. My kids refer to ours by first name. I don't think anyone thinks anything of it.
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:59 AM
 
Location: San Diego
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brit3218 View Post
Where I come from, children were always expected to say "Yes mam", "No mam, or "Yes sir" , "No sir" to their parents or elders. Do any of you use this rule in your home? Is it disrespectful for kids to just say "yes or no? What is your take on this?
I think an adult should be addressed how they wish to be addresses, not how the parent of the child thinks they should be addressed. If someone your child interacts with expects the formal (and rather obsequious IMHO) address of sir or ma'am, then by all means they should receive that.

Personally, if I am going to be interacting with a child more than once, I would prefer to be called simply by my first name. Manners/respect are easily indicated by tone of voice and please/thank you rather than the outdated and stuffy sir/ma'am.
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