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Old 06-09-2007, 08:17 AM
 
Location: New York
371 posts, read 1,784,794 times
Reputation: 250

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We have been having a severe problem getting our son to sleep in his own bedroom. We moved 2 weeks ago and made the mistake of letting him sleep with us a few nights and now he doesn't want to go back to his own room. We have taken away his time to play with his new friends and computer games are off to. We are on day 2 with his grounding and it has no effect on his will to go to bed in his own bedroom. Please any advice will be extremely appreciated. He has turned into an extreme handful and his listening skills have also declined dramatically. When we tell him to come inside or not do something he does the extreme opposite. Time outs aren't working well either. We are really in a quandry!
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,840,329 times
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From what you posted it sounds like your little guy is insecure right now because of the new move. So you have two choices, let him sleep with you a bit longer until he is more secure in the new environment or make him sleep in his own room and have him get over it in your time instead of his time.

Punishing him to get him to sleep in his own room is not going to help his security issue. I suggest you try developing a routine that gets him in his bed for a time prior to going to sleep. Reading him a book that he likes (we do a chapter a night from books such as Harry Potter) until he is relaxed. Then tucking him in and telling him you will check on him in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes until he is asleep. This worked with my youngest and now he will even put himself to bed if he's tired. But I do think you need to be patient and allow him to settle into the new house before expecting it to be easy. As for the not listening and stuff, again he's acting out because of the new situation...patience and consistency will pay off for you, just hang in there. Good luck.
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:19 AM
 
Location: New York
371 posts, read 1,784,794 times
Reputation: 250
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishmom View Post
From what you posted it sounds like your little guy is insecure right now because of the new move. So you have two choices, let him sleep with you a bit longer until he is more secure in the new environment or make him sleep in his own room and have him get over it in your time instead of his time.

Punishing him to get him to sleep in his own room is not going to help his security issue. I suggest you try developing a routine that gets him in his bed for a time prior to going to sleep. Reading him a book that he likes (we do a chapter a night from books such as Harry Potter) until he is relaxed. Then tucking him in and telling him you will check on him in 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes until he is asleep. This worked with my youngest and now he will even put himself to bed if he's tired. But I do think you need to be patient and allow him to settle into the new house before expecting it to be easy. As for the not listening and stuff, again he's acting out because of the new situation...patience and consistency will pay off for you, just hang in there. Good luck.

Thanks Irishmom - You are absolutely right. I wasn't thinking from his perspective. I often have that problem. We'll try the checking back and if that doesn't work he can sleep with us. He always ends up with us in the morning any ways.
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:30 AM
 
Location: Hillsborough
2,825 posts, read 5,953,202 times
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I agree with irishmom. Another thing you could try is staying with him in his room until he falls asleep for a while. That might help him feel more secure, but keep him in his room if that is a priority for you.

Another idea is to make him his own little bed in your room for a while if you are really just trying to get him out of your bed. Or you could do a combo. Help him go to sleep in his own room by staying with him, and giving him the option to later come in and sleep in the special bed in your room if he wakes up. This way he may feel that he has the option of being closer to you if he needs it.
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Old 06-09-2007, 09:53 AM
 
Location: Between Here and There
3,684 posts, read 10,840,329 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homewardbound66 View Post
Thanks Irishmom - You are absolutely right. I wasn't thinking from his perspective. I often have that problem. We'll try the checking back and if that doesn't work he can sleep with us. He always ends up with us in the morning any ways.
It's not always easy to look at what's going on from the child's perspective, so don't feel bad. But I will say that if you can it does make it easier to figure out a solution at times. Hang in there I'm sure it will get better.
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Old 06-09-2007, 01:11 PM
 
Location: Twin Cities, CA
199 posts, read 1,009,879 times
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You've gotten some good suggestions. I would either stay with him in his room until he falls asleep, and then move to leaving when he's relaxed, until he's comfortable with the routine you want to establish, or let him sleep on the floor in your room for a while more until he decides he's ready to be alone in his room.

Once he feels more secure at night, he'll sleep better and a lot of the other new, aggravating behaviors will likely go away.
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Old 06-09-2007, 01:31 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,626,844 times
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When we moved last year, my son (had just turned 4) was having a hard time sleeping in his new room. He asked to 'camp out' on the floor. We let him, and haven't had any issues since. 1-2 times a week he camps out on his floor, with his head near the open bedroom door. Tonight he is camping out with flashlights and we are making him a blanket tent, lol. He is pretty excited.
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Old 06-09-2007, 01:52 PM
 
Location: New York
371 posts, read 1,784,794 times
Reputation: 250
Thanks to all that have responded. We really don't mind when he climbs into bed with us during the night. It just not having any time to ourselves that was a concern, but seeing that its a temporary arrangement helps. I love him dearly and thought he was adjusting better than us. He loves the current neighborhood because of all the kids. He, in fact, never likes leaving when we want to go for a hike or just a drive. Go figure. Thanks again. What a wonderful "girlfriend" place to be able to come to.
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Old 06-09-2007, 03:00 PM
 
3,077 posts, read 4,991,043 times
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You've received some excellent advice. I'm posting only to validate the stress and insecurity factor brought on by a move. We're on the verge of moving (T-15 days and counting) and both of my sons (11 & 7) are struggling with behavior and schedule as we get closer.

Patience and a plan (as outlined earlier) will work.
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Old 06-10-2007, 06:20 PM
 
Location: Knoxville
190 posts, read 662,738 times
Reputation: 67
I just wanted to chime in and say you aren't alone. We moved with my 3 yr old last year and he had some major behavior issues. It's easy to look back and see that it was because of the move. We are doing it again this summer too, and I can see his behavior slowly declining.
Just take a deep breath and know that this too shall pass, as long as you don't let him develop and keep a bad habit.
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