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Old 06-11-2007, 12:46 PM
 
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Sorry just thought of another thing, if you decide to make the move just make sure you get him involved in stuff at school similar to what he was doing now to try to keep the same rhythm. Make sure you also speak to new guidance counselor to keep tabs on him and make sure he is adjusting well.

Good Luck!
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Old 06-11-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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Thanks Mama4mia. At least though, you are moving back to where he was a few years ago. This is completely new. We moved from the PNW to VA when he was 3--that was easy. Then we moved from VA to MA when he was 6 and I was worried about him then! By contrast, my 7 year old is the least of my concerns right now. Funny how your perspective changes as your kids get older.

Well, we don't yet have a decision to make since I haven't yet been offered the job, but we need to get as many of our ducks in a row as possible so we can make an informed decision.

We thought about having he and his Dad stay behind until he is done with HS but I think that would be harder on everyone--including him.
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Old 06-11-2007, 02:12 PM
 
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[quote=webfootma;867202]Thanks Mama4mia. At least though, you are moving back to where he was a few years ago.

True, but during middle school he was in a different school every year and when we moved here he had just fininshed freshman year, to a whole new place where we knew no one (plus people here are not very friendly).

An aquaintance of ours had their child in a different school every year of high school, but they were involved in school and the dad helped coach the football team his son was in.

Again I stress the importance of staying together as a family and supporting eachother through out the moving period and getting settled.
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Old 06-11-2007, 03:16 PM
 
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Thanks. I continue to obsess about this. I just wish life were simpler!
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Old 06-11-2007, 07:37 PM
 
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don't we all!
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Old 06-11-2007, 08:03 PM
 
Location: Home is where we park it.
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Quote:
Is there any reason you can't wait for this move until after he graduates?
By then the other two will affect the decision.

What is the motivation for the move? IF it is for a better job paying more more or better opportunities, then that has to be a major consideration.

Quote:
My kids are 16, 12 and 7
Two years from now (I am assuming the 16 year old is a rising junior and I may be wrong), the two younger will be 14 and 9...will it honestly be easier then? Esp if the 16 yo decides to attend college in the immediate area. Is he ready to be left behind to go on to college?

Bottom line, do what is best for the entire family but esp the major breadwinner's career. Liz
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Old 06-11-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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Money and career are the big motivation for the move. In a nutshell, we live in MA where it's very expensive. My husband lost his job in 2002 and was never able to really find gainful employment since then. He switched gears and started his own business and was modestly successful for a while, but couldn't really generate the cash flow to sustain 3 kids, a mortgage, etc. I had quit working full time when #2 was born and was working PT, consulting--anything I could do to avoid daycare expenses and bring in some extra money. The bottom line is that after 6 years, we had several mortgages on the house, overextended credit, no more retirement or savings and things were not getting better! I went back to work full time when my youngest started 1st grade but gave up the big salary for a job where the hours were somewhat flexible. My husband finally found a job about 4 months ago and it pays about 3/4 of what he was making 6 years ago. But together, we are bringing home a bit more than what he was making 6 years ago.

So, on the outside, it appears we're getting back on track. But our finances are decimated. We had to sell the house to avoid being crushed by that debt and will be moving into a rental here in town next month. Over the past year or so, we've been giving a lot of thought to moving to an area of the country with a strong economy but much lower cost of living. North Carolina kept rising to the top of the list. We put out some feelers down there and I immediately started getting bites. I've turned down 2 job offers (if we're going to do this, it has to be exactly right) and am flying down there on Thursday for an interview with company #3 (they've already phone interviewed me to death and have flown me to meet with senior management in 2 other cities so I think they're pretty serious). The salary is more than double what I'm making now. Of course, this move would leave my husband without a job and there's no guarantee he'll find one quickly, and that's a major piece of our strategy. In order to rebuild our reserves and have a hope of retiring some day, we need to live on one salary and bank the other. We'll probably have to rent for a year while we get our finances in order and then we'll buy. There's no way we'd ever get back in the housing market where we currently live.

So it wasn't exactly a "nutshell" but now you all can see why I'm even considering the insanity of a move with a 16 year old. It breaks my heart to think about moving him. This is such a close knit community, especially for the kids. He's so popular and well established here.
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Old 06-11-2007, 09:06 PM
 
Location: Home is where we park it.
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Make sure you do a cost of living comparison between where you are and where they want to put you if you take the job. Check the housing market as well...see if you can rent/buy for a reasonable cost.

IF you do move, try to rent in the same school district you want to buy in. Liz
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Old 06-12-2007, 04:00 AM
 
Location: on an island
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[quote=mama4mia;867665]
Quote:
Originally Posted by webfootma View Post

Again I stress the importance of staying together as a family and supporting eachother through out the moving period and getting settled.
I agree, a family is a family no matter what the locale. It takes committment.
And I still think an angsty middle schooler might have a tougher time than a high schooler.
We thought about me staying behind with our then-16 year old, but rejected that idea.
Teens can be very tribal and saying goodbye to friends hurts.
The thought of making new friends sounds so daunting, but that is exactly what my kid did--and now here he is, 2 short years later, facing the same task all over again as a college freshman. He never seriously considered going to college back in our original state; he has completely re-established himself.
I agree about doing a cost of living comparison, but you never truly know the real deal until you make the move. It is indeed a leap of faith.
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Old 06-12-2007, 07:05 AM
 
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We've done the COL comparisons---as you've said, you never know until you get there, but there's no way that Raleigh could come close to the Boston area. If we make this move, we've decided we will rent for a period of time before we buy--we've never done that before and I've always wished we had. And yes, it will be in the same school zone. I've already narrowed down the high school I'd like my kids to attend. Here we have one elementary, one middle and one high but there there are several "feeder" schools, but they're all good so it's the high school I'm most concerned about.

RE: My middle schooler. He seems to be the most gung-ho, oddly enough!
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