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View Poll Results: What's your view on underage drinking?
It's just a normal teenage experience, nothing wrong with it. 29 34.52%
It's wrong and needs to be stopped. 16 19.05%
I did it as a teenager but I don't want MY kids to drink. 39 46.43%
Voters: 84. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-13-2007, 10:30 AM
 
2,775 posts, read 2,578,951 times
Reputation: 2967

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SpeedyAZ View Post
Most of us have done it when we were younger but as an adult looking back, what is your view on the subject of underage drinking?
Some of the brightest adults I have ever directly known or read about never drank. They had various reasons, but foremost was usually some sort of genetic history of alcoholism if not conflicting religious views they were brought up with.

Having had alcohol when I was young and also after being told extensively about my own genetic history, I've never made a big deal about it - avoiding or having it. It's interesting to note though, I've been in many corporate and family social gatherings where there was distinct pressure to be part of the drinking-crowd... and to drink what everyone else was drinking (or at least the leader).

Let's call a spade a spade... the key reason people drink is to feel a buzz and experience the lowered level of inhibitions you experience while having one. Sometimes that makes the social situation "easier" and many people are actually more fun when they have lowered inhibitions. The reality is that alcohol is poisonous, your body develops a tolerance pretty quickly, and it is also both mentally and physically addictive.

Do you value your health, your ability to think well, and your ability to socialize effectively without needing something like a drink to lubricate the experience? If so I think the answer is straight-forward. Do you value trying new/different things to gain a potentially broader perspective on life? If so I think the answer is the opposite.

Regarding our children - do you want your daughter (or son) going out, having lowered inhibitions due to alcohol or drugs and potentially doing something not all that bright with another kid? You have two logical choices - either you make such little deal about alcohol that you kid adopts the same mentality (doesn't feel compelled to go out and drink because mom and dad said it's ok in a controlled/safe environment - like at home with parents or adults around), or you outright tell them it is poisonous and turns your brain to mush. LOL - either way, I think it's communications with your child that you need to engage in.
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Old 06-13-2007, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Phoenix...until next week, then Maryland...tick tock tick tock
169 posts, read 550,227 times
Reputation: 102
This is a tough one for me. Alcohol was forbidden in my household (as far as I knew...) because it was "of the devil". I never even tasted alcohol until I was 19, & then it was only wine coolers. In the 10 years since then, I have been buzzed, drunk, drunk off my a$$, puking my guts out (once), and oops pregnant (again, only once! ) As bad as that sounds, I'm really not much of a drinker. Honestly, I've only been drunk a handful of times, but there was definitely a "forbidden fruit" thing about it in the beginning.

My son has a lot of alcoholism in his genes (mostly, but not entirely, from his father's side) so I'm a little paranoid about what approach to take with him. With whatever substances he chooses to imbibe, I want him to be responsible & realize the possible consequences for his actions. There are some substances I hope he never imbibes (i.e. meth, heroin, etc) but I can't make those choices for him.

My hope is that I can teach him how to make responsible choices. Be aware of his body & what he's doing to it. I don't want to make it so taboo that he is even more drawn to it, but I don't want to be too blase (um, "Blah-Zay"...I wish I knew the ASCII code for the funky "e" thing that makes that word look right... ) that he thinks drinking & partying 24/7 is a way of life (like his father...but that's another story... )

I have worked very hard to not become a slave to any substance/activity. My general rule of thumb for myself has always been that as long as whatever I do in my "spare" time somehow enhances my life-experience, is not counterproductive to my success in life and I can abstain from whatever activities *at will*, then I am ok with it. I have generally been fairly responsible in my choices, & I hope to impart a similar sense of responsibility to my son ...except the getting pregnant part...
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Old 06-13-2007, 11:29 AM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,541,006 times
Reputation: 524
What do you do when an adult offers your child beer? My son has been asked if he wants a beer 3 times by adults. One time I was with him. We were at a small get together and the host asked him right in front of me if he would like a beer! Just because he is 6 feet doesn't mean he isn't 14 years old! (at the time). I was so proud of him, he said "no thanks, I am not old enough yet". What a kid!
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Old 06-13-2007, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Phoenix...until next week, then Maryland...tick tock tick tock
169 posts, read 550,227 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by skoe View Post
What do you do when an adult offers your child beer? My son has been asked if he wants a beer 3 times by adults. One time I was with him. We were at a small get together and the host asked him right in front of me if he would like a beer! Just because he is 6 feet doesn't mean he isn't 14 years old! (at the time). I was so proud of him, he said "no thanks, I am not old enough yet". What a kid!

Dang, now that's just rude. They should at least ask you first if you're ok with it. Wow. That takes some balls to ask that right in front of you, yet still omit you from that conversation...JMHO...
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Old 06-13-2007, 01:56 PM
 
Location: Vancouver, Canada
550 posts, read 2,541,006 times
Reputation: 524
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsB23 View Post
Dang, now that's just rude. They should at least ask you first if you're ok with it. Wow. That takes some balls to ask that right in front of you, yet still omit you from that conversation...JMHO...
I agree! I had a talk with the host after that and he said "oh, I just have a hard time remembering he is a kid, he acts so mature." We don't hang out with that couple very much.

One of the other times he was going with yet another friend of mine to see if he liked the construction line of work. At the end of the day all the workers were gathering for an after work beer and they asked him if he wanted one. This friend didn't tell me that he offered, my son did when he got home. I sure am lucky he thinks drinking is stupid!

To relate this to the op it's no wonder kids are so confused about alcohol these days, some adults are just too eager to offer it.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:03 PM
 
Location: Chicago
38,691 posts, read 86,797,403 times
Reputation: 29355
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsB23 View Post
Dang, now that's just rude. They should at least ask you first if you're ok with it. Wow. That takes some balls to ask that right in front of you, yet still omit you from that conversation...JMHO...
That's not balls, that's self-centered thoughtlessness. Nothing could require less balls than that.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:22 PM
 
Location: Phoenix...until next week, then Maryland...tick tock tick tock
169 posts, read 550,227 times
Reputation: 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drover View Post
That's not balls, that's self-centered thoughtlessness. Nothing could require less balls than that.
Yeah, acutally, you are absolutely right. That just blew my mind.
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Old 06-13-2007, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Tejas
7,504 posts, read 15,964,820 times
Reputation: 5025
Stupidty = Balls in most cases I find :s
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Old 06-13-2007, 09:45 PM
 
188 posts, read 839,339 times
Reputation: 159
I know this is not going to go over well with anybody....I started drinking when I was 17. My parents knew it and they didn't approve or disapprove of it. When they would go out on the road ( truck drivers) they would actually buy me alcohol on one condition....I would not leave the house. I would have a few friends over for the night ( yes, mom checked with the parents) and we would have our own little party. No, not loud music...we would watch T.V, play cards etc. But...we never left the house in the car . We would walk next door to the neighbors, but the car never left the driveway. Believe me...we were watched. Dad would actually mark the tires, check the odometer..you name it. Was it wrong? Yes. Would I have got it somewhere else? Yes. Would I let my child do it? No comment. Do I drink now? No. My parents weren't perfect...but they trusted me and they knew I was safe at home and not in a car. I guess the question is...would you rather your child be at home if he or she is going to drink? Or do you want them sneaking around? I know it is against the law...but my son had 3 of his friends die in an accident ( all 3 were in the same car) where alcohol was involved ( No, we didn't buy it). If he is going to drink, then I would prefer he was home passed out and not passed out in a car.
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Old 06-14-2007, 02:10 AM
 
2 posts, read 5,483 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by bam531 View Post
I know this is not going to go over well with anybody....I started drinking when I was 17. My parents knew it and they didn't approve or disapprove of it. When they would go out on the road ( truck drivers) they would actually buy me alcohol on one condition....I would not leave the house. I would have a few friends over for the night ( yes, mom checked with the parents) and we would have our own little party. No, not loud music...we would watch T.V, play cards etc. But...we never left the house in the car . We would walk next door to the neighbors, but the car never left the driveway. Believe me...we were watched. Dad would actually mark the tires, check the odometer..you name it. Was it wrong? Yes. Would I have got it somewhere else? Yes. Would I let my child do it? No comment. Do I drink now? No. My parents weren't perfect...but they trusted me and they knew I was safe at home and not in a car. I guess the question is...would you rather your child be at home if he or she is going to drink? Or do you want them sneaking around? I know it is against the law...but my son had 3 of his friends die in an accident ( all 3 were in the same car) where alcohol was involved ( No, we didn't buy it). If he is going to drink, then I would prefer he was home passed out and not passed out in a car.
Why do people feel as if not suicidaly drinking/driving totally excuses their drinking in the first place?
It's still a dangerous blight, that can wreck havoc on an immature body, and society

Most people find it difficult to deny anything they themselves partake in; alcohol use is no exception.
But parents should be willing to cast aside this hypocrisy, and recognize the exceptional danger and responsibility their putting in their children's hands

I personally find it very unsettling to offer my children alcohol or any other drugs, for mutual pleasure, it just seems off to me. But if other parents don't share this misgiving, they should at least recognize the immaturity of <21ers and assume some of their responsibility, if they're willing to permit it.
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