High School Suicides? (support, parents, boy, children)

[osuzana]

Has anyone had the horrible experience of teen suicide in your kids high schools? There have been two in one year with the last one last night. Is it the increased pressure of a highly academic school, competitive kids and parent's trying to get into top colleges? I don't know what their homes lives were like. The boy that killed himself last night seemed very happy with a lot of friends that loved him and his silly side, he was into sports and smiling in most of his pictures on FB. This is the third death my kid has had to deal with at his school in less than three years. This shouldn't be.

[mistermister]

Being a school that is both academically and socially stressful, I wouldnt suggest conforming to it. Let your kid chill out and even spend a year to two at a Community College. We just had one hang himself here over pre-med school. Just relieve the pressure. The school and community seems to put enough pressure on them as it is. Relieve your kid by not bringing it up more than once a week and only to remind him that its his life and his decision. I think that with the social expectations at school he will make a good decision no matter what. Too many times are teen suicides over pleasing their parents or influential beings.

[aidxen]

I think parents are the ones who have the biggest effect.
Some parents are really really pushy.

If a kid has supportive parents and I mean supportive rather than judgemental then the kid can really work hard but not feel stressed.

On the other hand if they feel that by failing that they will let their parents down then that is an unfair stress. I have known several kids who have sufferred as a result of this sort of expectation. One kid whose older brothers all went through med school was expected to do the same. We failed several times and had various break downs and would keep re enrolling and going back and failing. It was so sad. It just was not for him but he kept trying and then failing and eventually became mentally ill. I believe that if his parents had not created this expectaion and had rather "allowed" him to do something non academic, he would have been OK.

Another kid was expected to be an engineer. He was naturally musical. He too started enginnering and failed several times and became very fragile but luckilly his parents did not push him to go back. He spent a few years selling furnature and has become a great sales man and plays in a band at a local pub on weekends.

These are just two of a number of examples

[osuzana]

Originally Posted by mistermister

Being a school that is both academically and socially stressful, I wouldnt suggest conforming to it. Let your kid chill out and even spend a year to two at a Community College. We just had one hang himself here over pre-med school. Just relieve the pressure. The school and community seems to put enough pressure on them as it is. Relieve your kid by not bringing it up more than once a week and only to remind him that its his life and his decision. I think that with the social expectations at school he will make a good decision no matter what. Too many times are teen suicides over pleasing their parents or influential beings.

Thank you. I wish he would entertain going to CC but to him that would mean failure especially since most of his friends are honor students and will have their choice of schools and the incomes to pay for it. Sometimes going to the "best" school isn't necessarily the best choice. This boy was so well loved and respected by his friends and teachers, it makes me wonder what could have been so bad in his life to take his?

[mistermister]

Depending on what his major is, the school doesn't matter-the grades do. I became a RN at a community college and my salary was the same as those who graduated top of their classes at major universities. I was able to then enter in better programs of study at the university because I could help pay for it through working as a RN. If he does go to a school locally, he has a better chance of standing out in class position and graduating top of the class. If he goes to college with students that he is around now, this stress will continue on for the next four years (grad school will be a bit different).

[osuzana]

Poor boy hung himself. I am really wondering what drove him to such a desperate state. Over 2500 people have become members of his RIP site on FB and all talked about how great a guy he was and how he always made them feel good with a smile on his face always. Just depresses me so much as a mother and a human being that someone so young couldn't find a way out other than killing himself.

[NoExcuses]

We've been here for 10 years and there hasn't been any suicides in any of the schools.

Funny how parents push and push their children and MAKE them excel. Parents make their kids crazy then wonder what happened.

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by osuzana

Poor boy hung himself. I am really wondering what drove him to such a desperate state. Over 2500 people have become members of his RIP site on FB and all talked about how great a guy he was and how he always made them feel good with a smile on his face always. Just depresses me so much as a mother and a human being that someone so young couldn't find a way out other than killing himself.

I used to love the Billy Joel song dealing with suicide - kids need to be reminded that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's so sad when kids make this choice, though many who make it are desparate and depressed and not thinking clearly when they make it. It is very sad indeed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhxjNYvJbgM

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by NoExcuses

We've been here for 10 years and there hasn't been any suicides in any of the schools.

Funny how parents push and push their children and MAKE them excel. Parents make their kids crazy then wonder what happened.

Seriously, you can't "make" somebody crazy - though we can all understand the expression "you are driving me crazy", lol. But true mental illness (crazy) is more often the result of bad genes or taumatic events.

What you can do is push a fragile or vulnerable person over the edge emotionally if you stress them out too much. This kind of person might decide to "end it all".

Some kids are natural perfectionists, they put more pressure on themselves than their parents ever do. These "type A" personalities are sometimes their own worst enemies.

[osuzana]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Seriously, you can't "make" somebody crazy - though we can all understand the expression "you are driving me crazy", lol. But true mental illness (crazy) is more often the result of bad genes or taumatic events.

What you can do is push a fragile or vulnerable person over the edge emotionally if you stress them out too much. This kind of person might decide to "end it all".

Some kids are natural perfectionists, they put more pressure on themselves than their parents ever do. These "type A" personalities are sometimes their own worst enemies.

Very true about the perfectionist nature.