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Old 05-03-2010, 01:31 AM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,959,089 times
Reputation: 3325

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Quote:
Originally Posted by auntieannie68 View Post
someone should ALWAYS know when and who you r going out with--as someone that has worked with law enforcement in the past---you should always inform SOMEONE who u r seeing,when,where,especially if u r going out of the area with them-----this doesn't always apply if the person has been a CONSISTENT companion and some of your family/friends have some background on him

I am aware of that but I don't want the person coming in and my mom passing judgment and then later talking my ear off about the future with this person when I don't even know if I want to go on a second date with them.

I usually tell my mom when/where I am going.
I'll be here till whatever time with so and so. I don't want it going beyond that, I don't want to play 20 questions, I don't want my mom to nag me about petty crap when the relationship isn't even serious.

Like I was friends with/dated a firefighter. When we were in the dating stage of our friendship my mom had LOADS to say.
He was 17/18 at the time I met him and my mom had an issue about how he was always left home alone. His parents are super rich and are never home. In the 5 years I have known him I have never once seen his parents. She just had an issue with how he was left home all the time. He was 17/18, it wasn't that big of a deal.
She had an issue with him being a firefighter because of the danger. She started talking about what happened if he got hurt in the future....talking about a what if scenario if we were married and had kids....HOLY CRAP...I had no idea if we were even ever going to be serious, I was focusing on the then and now and not the future. It freaks guys out when girls already have their childrens names picked out and they've only gone out to dinner once.
My mom made me so unsure of my own feelings because I lied to her so much by agreeing with whatever she said...I didn't know what to think or feel because she bombarded my own thoughts and feelings with her own.
I was 18 at the time, I should have been left to figure it out on my own.

Now 4 years later I am still friends with him and now I see how I missed out on a potentially great and long lasting relationship. All because she had to stick her opinions in and screw it all up.

I miss what he and I had and who knows if I will ever get it back.
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Old 05-03-2010, 05:20 PM
 
687 posts, read 1,115,667 times
Reputation: 222
Ms txtqueen, You still sound very young to me and maybe that is one of the reasons your mother treats you that way. You are still living with your parent where most kids are out of the house by 18 or 19 in college or working with roommates and are most likely treated with more respect by their parent's regarding dating because they have proved they are mature enough to be on their own. You have not proved that. I don't know what you do for work, if you work or go to school, but your goal should be to do what it takes to take the next step in your young life to be independent and move out, not complaining about your dating life while living with your mom at 21!
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Old 05-04-2010, 08:48 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,785 posts, read 24,019,525 times
Reputation: 27092
As far as the being hurt part that was mentioned above that could happen in any marriage or relationship and yeah you would have to know how to take care of yourself and your kids should god forbid something happen such as death or divorce or what have you and you will pardon me for saying this but you sound very young and immature and in no way ready for kids or marriage for that matter . First off there is nothing wrong with living at home still because of this economy but really it is okay for your mom to know who you are dating and or who you are seeing in case something goes bad from a safety issue really . I mean i always wanted to know who my kids were dating in case something bad happened i was aware of what was going on from a legal stand point as well . am I over protective and cautious you betcha in this day and age and I can understand where your mother is coming from I have been there . I think you have some growing up to do before starting a marriage or a family .
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:14 AM
 
Location: southwestern PA
22,420 posts, read 47,411,742 times
Reputation: 47699
Quote:
Originally Posted by osuzana View Post
Ms txtqueen, You still sound very young to me and maybe that is one of the reasons your mother treats you that way. You are still living with your parent where most kids are out of the house by 18 or 19 in college or working with roommates and are most likely treated with more respect by their parent's regarding dating because they have proved they are mature enough to be on their own. You have not proved that. I don't know what you do for work, if you work or go to school, but your goal should be to do what it takes to take the next step in your young life to be independent and move out, not complaining about your dating life while living with your mom at 21!
Amen to that!
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Old 05-04-2010, 09:38 AM
 
Location: NE Oklahoma
1,036 posts, read 3,063,194 times
Reputation: 1093
I have a 19 year old sister who has just moved home from college for the summer. What she does in the dorm during the year is her business..and yes my mom wants to know but can't really supervise. At home it is a totally different story. If a boy comes to pick her up he MUST get out of the car and come up to the door at least. To make points he comes in and chats. To make REAL points he plays pool with my step-father. Heaven help the boy who drives up and honks. He will have a REALLY HOT 6 foot 5 inch Native American at HIS car door in a heartbeat. Mama expects to know within an hour when she will be home. If she says midnight and comes in at 12:45 that is still ok. If she says she isn't coming home that is not really ok but she doesn't get in too much crap except every so often her Daddy puts in his own curfew especially if she has to go to work (not lately) the next day. I think this is a great idea. My daughter's boyfriends have to come in and do "couch time" before they go out. Don't like it? Don't date my daughter.
If you are that age and chafing at the rules then it is time to move out and pay your own bills. Then Mom won't have a say. Until then it is her house, her rules.
If they really like you and want to date you then they will do it.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:03 AM
 
687 posts, read 1,115,667 times
Reputation: 222
Quote:
Originally Posted by okpondlady View Post
I have a 19 year old sister who has just moved home from college for the summer. What she does in the dorm during the year is her business..and yes my mom wants to know but can't really supervise. At home it is a totally different story. If a boy comes to pick her up he MUST get out of the car and come up to the door at least. To make points he comes in and chats. To make REAL points he plays pool with my step-father. Heaven help the boy who drives up and honks. He will have a REALLY HOT 6 foot 5 inch Native American at HIS car door in a heartbeat. Mama expects to know within an hour when she will be home. If she says midnight and comes in at 12:45 that is still ok. If she says she isn't coming home that is not really ok but she doesn't get in too much crap except every so often her Daddy puts in his own curfew especially if she has to go to work (not lately) the next day. I think this is a great idea. My daughter's boyfriends have to come in and do "couch time" before they go out. Don't like it? Don't date my daughter.
If you are that age and chafing at the rules then it is time to move out and pay your own bills. Then Mom won't have a say. Until then it is her house, her rules.
If they really like you and want to date you then they will do it.
I like it! My son always gets out of the car to pick up his gf out of respect for her. Just honking is very tacky and allowing it from a guy shows how little you care for yourself. Be happy that while you live at home your Mom cares enough to still ask questions.
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:40 PM
 
Location: Ontario
177 posts, read 470,531 times
Reputation: 93
i will admit my girl now, picked me up from my house on our first date four years ago. she met my mom that nite. now my mom is involved in everything we do. she calls at 9 pm to see where i am and what time ill be home...im almost 20
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Old 05-04-2010, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,307 posts, read 38,721,749 times
Reputation: 7185
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistermister View Post
i will admit my girl now, picked me up from my house on our first date four years ago. she met my mom that nite. now my mom is involved in everything we do. she calls at 9 pm to see where i am and what time ill be home...im almost 20
That may explain why you're having erectile difficulties... Google oedipal complex.
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Old 05-04-2010, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Wherever life takes me.
6,190 posts, read 7,959,089 times
Reputation: 3325
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistermister View Post
i will admit my girl now, picked me up from my house on our first date four years ago. she met my mom that nite. now my mom is involved in everything we do. she calls at 9 pm to see where i am and what time ill be home...im almost 20
That's exactly what I am saying!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She met the firefighter and from then on it was horrible!
She used to call him ALL the time to tell him about how I wasn't wanting to come home at a certain time and that he was to bring me home anyways....I WAS 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He didn't take too kindly to her call him all the time.
She used to talk me about him and I getting married and what happened if he died in a fire or got hurt...
I wanted to scream WE'RE GOING TO A MOVIE NOT THE ALTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She talked about all this stuff that wasn't even relative to the situation.

We went to school dances together, went to parties, went to movies. It was NOT serious and she was questioning me about marriage etc.

From now on I am either meeting the guys somewhere other than my house or they aren't coming in at all.
And i'll keep my lips sealed, she can ask for details all day but she won't be told any.
She has got involved and ruined any relationship I was in. I rarely dated in high school and I still rarely date. She's screwed up my dating life.
Oh and I don't random guys. Usually its from school, my cop stuff or friends of friends that I know.
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