Choosing Sibling Gift (child care, teens, teaching, games)

[TimeMachine]

HI All,

If you had a 4year old girl and 5year old boy in your life, and you were looking for an item to foster their playing together, would you rather invest your money in a really nice...

1. Wooden Play Kitchen and food
2. Wooden Train Set on Table
3. Dollhouse w Furniture (the boy has enjoyed such an item in the past at a friends house)
4. Quality Farm Set


What do you think might foster good co-play, as well as independent play for young siblings. Also, which toy might be relevant the longest to children. I would like to spend the money to purchase at least one of these items in wood, with good quality accessories.

Also, as this is supposed to be a co-play gift, how would you handle a situation where one young sibling tried to "claim" the gift and refused to let the other touch it. This has happened in the past. One thought I had was to give each child 10 minutes playing by themselves with the item and then see if they were ready to play together the next day. Or is that just setting up a bad pattern?

Thanks for your help

[nuala]

I have a 6 yo girl and a 5 yo boy. All 4 examples would have been good for my kids, and these were my observations:

1. Wooden Play Kitchen and food -- the cooking and setting the table and feeding would happen once. Then they would lose interest. If it disappears for a while, the next time they unearth it, they play, again, one time exactly. An exception was a plastic stove with a battery that made sizzling and baking sounds - that was very intriguing to my son, the sounds, not really the pretend cooking.

2. Wooden Train Set on Table -endless amount of play for the boy (years), not as much for the girl. The tracks move onto the floor where they can be configured in various shapes and lengths. The table was really a waste.

3. Dollhouse w Furniture (the boy has enjoyed such an item in the past at a friends house) -- limited amount of play for both. Maybe my kids are not as versed in making up endless real-life situations.

4. Quality Farm Set -- the boy would play with the farming vehicles. The rest is like the dollhouse, - you have to invent a pretend life, and my both kids have no interest in that.

Cooperation level was approx. the same for all 4 toys. Our problem is sustaining the interest...

[suzie02]

Originally Posted by TimeMachine

1. Wooden Play Kitchen and food

Nope. We have a play kitchen and it was only a fun toy around 2-3yo. My dd is 5 and she has no interest in it at all. I moved it to my 2yo ds room and he does play with it.

Originally Posted by TimeMachine

3. Dollhouse w Furniture (the boy has enjoyed such an item in the past at a friends house)

Most kids seem to enjoy other people's toys but as soon as you bring the toys home they sit untouched.

Originally Posted by TimeMachine

What do you think might foster good co-play, as well as independent play for young siblings. Also, which toy might be relevant the longest to children. I would like to spend the money to purchase at least one of these items in wood, with good quality accessories.

I do not think there is a toy that foster good co-play. What fosters good co-play is the parents involvement.

Originally Posted by TimeMachine

Also, as this is supposed to be a co-play gift, how would you handle a situation where one young sibling tried to "claim" the gift and refused to let the other touch it. This has happened in the past. One thought I had was to give each child 10 minutes playing by themselves with the item and then see if they were ready to play together the next day. Or is that just setting up a bad pattern?

So you do not sound like the parent of these children. Children will play whatever way they want. If they want to fight over a toy they will. I know with my dd as soon as her brother grabs a toy she wants to play with that particular toy. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her to wait till he puts it down. Also the price of a toy doesn't correlate with the amount of enjoyment the kids will have.

[TimeMachine]

Hello again,
Yes, to clarrify, I AM NOT the parent, but the Aunt, this house would be staying at my house for their time here (which is significant), and I do have leeway to "parent" in cases of sibling squabbles and manners.

Interesting suggestions so far.

[Inthesierras]

You will probably get more interaction time if you bought age appropriate games like Cootie, Mr. Potato head, etc. When my kids were that age, they LOVED to play those games together. Play dough is another GREAT activity for 4-5 year olds. My kids had lots of the little play dough tools, but they loved when I gave them table knives, spoons, cups, etc to help shape the play dough.

Now that the good weather is here, get sidewalk chalk, bubbles, bug nets, etc and let them have a good time outside. I had a giant tupperware bin that I filled up with sand ($2 at hardware store). We put tons of little toys in the sand and they LOVED it. Just keep water away from the sand or it turns into a giant mess. Keep the lid on it so your neighbors cats won't find it.

[lisdol]

My kids have had a Thomas wooden railway for years. They (ages 2-11) enjoy it. I would invest more money in the trains than extra tracks though - mine tend to build only a slightly complex track system (such as one split and one overpass/underpass at the most) and spend a lot more time dealing with the trains. One of the most popular trains in the set is Diesel 10, who inevitably inspires conflict and the kids talking through problems they make up with the trains (Diesel 10 does not like steam engines, if you are not familiar with him - we own "Thomas and the Magic Railroad" - where he features prominently).

If I got them kitchen oriented stuff, it would definitely have to be the the wooden stuff you can "cut" (usually there is velcro you cut through) and serve. And honestly, mine would prefer the real kitchen items like small pots and pans and measuring cups, etc... over any of the toy ones, so I would probably spend the money only on the fruit and find some sort of low table to be the preparation area and just keep all of the kitchen stuff in a plastic tub. (saves the problem of where to put the kitchen).

A toy I found ALL of my kids like to play with is Step 2 makes a front door. Its plastic and free standing, with a mail slot, and peephole with a door and little side windows that swing open and closed.

[hypocore]

I second the games/playdoh suggestion, but add in various art activities as well.
I've got 4 children myself and have been doing child care for 20 years. Here's my experiences:

Kitchen sets or the like are better for places where the kids don't go all the time and where there are changing partners often. A kitchen set will likely be played with each time they come to an aunt's house, but not for great lengths of time unless the aunt also has children.

Train tables almost always are used, but not always for trains. As long as what is available is rotated and allowed, a train table can work for years on end. Trains, legos, dragons, farms, cars, construction and so on can always be stored in the table and played with on the table and on the surrounding floor.

Dollhouses are wonders for the kids who love to play house or with dolls. Otherwise they are like the kitchen sets.

Farm sets are more accessories than main attractions.

Invest in: 1) a shelf filled with creative activities - Playdoh, glue, scissors, markers, crayons, paper, tape, chalk, watercolors, etc, 2) a shelf filled with simple age appropriate games and 3) a table where they can create or play games.

That will allow them freedom to do something they like individually, but still play together.

[maciesmom]

Get a couple of large cardboard boxes, crayons, some old tupperware and a variety of plastic kitchen utensils. Put them all in a pile in the family room. Sit down with a large glass of iced tea and watch.

ETA - a couple of large blankets and a card table is also good.

The problem with "sets" is that they are one specific thing. they are what they are. Cardboard boxes, blankets and tables can be anything you want them to be. Plus they don't cost anything.

[rockinmomma]

With my experience, the train set may be the best of the options listed, but why limit to one quality toy? Why not get some tupperware shoe containers and make activities in a box? One play dough, one legos, one art, one little people, one fake food.... etc? Yes, it is more "stuff" and the quality isn't wooden, but it does foster imagination play. Go to a teaching store and get manipulatives to help with numbers and colors. Have a designated area to play for them with tables, chairs and easy to clean up for messes.

As for keeping arguments to a minimum.... what we do with our youngest two is have an odd/even day. Since child #1'a birthday is on an odd day and child #2's birthday is on an even day, we just use those. On the odd days child #1 is the "king/queen" s/he gets first dibs. The privilege of being king/queen can be revoked if the child is behaving like a royal pain in the throne.

[NCyank]

1. Wooden Play Kitchen and food-Nope. As others have said, my kids didn't use it enough to justify it...same for toy tool benches.

2. Wooden Train Set on Table-Potentially. I like the idea of a multi use table. At that age my DS would be all about the train, connecting cars and building the track. DD would set up the town and organize the passengers.

3. Dollhouse w Furniture (the boy has enjoyed such an item in the past at a friends house)- My kids did play together with the doll house. However, they used it very differently. DD would set up the house with the furniture and people and then invite DS's dinosaurs to come over for dinner or play. All was well until T-Rex at the dog or chased the mail lady, lol. At ages 4-5 I'd not invest a lot in a nice wooden doll house...the boy may not be interested much longer.

4. Quality Farm Set - My kids used their farm set in conjunction with the doll house and train set but rarely by itself.


If you are looking for joint play toys I'd suggest as others have, go for games, puzzles, easy arts and crafts. How about Tinker Toys, legos, dominoes (for playing, stacking, setting up to knock down in a row). My kids were given a box containing hundreds of plastic bottle lids and they spent WEEKS building towers and houses and mazes. It just doesn't take much but you'll want a variety.

We did the same as rockinmama....even and odd days but only when it was needed. If they were already playing well together there was no need to intervene. Even now as they are teens some things are delegated to even and odd days. When something works you stick with it. If they don't play well together then you have to play with them and set the example for taking turns and being cooperative.